# Bad marketing concepts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198 "2004-03-29T23:57:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/121 "2004-04-16T09:53:36Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Talking about fruity, I got a Spam ad. tonight for Viagra and other drugs which came with the subject line “My boss thinks you’re gay” … I dunno what moron thought that would be a good slogan for Viagra … even if I was gay, or a guy. [I’m neither!] What are they trying to imply here anyway - that gay guys are more insecure about the size of their ‘package’??? Well, _obviously_ gay guys have smaller dicks. So as to fit in a smaller hole, y’know. (This post provided by the Order of Spammer-Hating Cynics.) ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/122 "2004-04-16T10:13:31Z")
> [@Evil Death](#): > > Well, _obviously_ gay guys have smaller dicks. So as to fit in a smaller hole, y’know. > > (This post provided by the Order of Spammer-Hating Cynics.) WOW, ED, beware the wrath of Esprix!! You might be turning your name into a self fulfilling prophesy by even **hinting** at such an explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/123 "2004-04-16T10:25:50Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > WOW, ED, beware the wrath of Esprix!! You might be turning your name into a self fulfilling prophesy by even **hinting** at such an explanation. I’m only inferring. They’re doing the implying. ---
**Author:** ![dal\_timgar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@dal\_timgar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dal_timgar)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/124 "2004-04-16T19:16:22Z")
Actually television commercials are a bad marketing concept. 60% of the reason to buy a VCR is to time shift to skip commercials. We constantly talk about quality time. Is watching commercials QUALITY TIME? Dal Timgar > [@Khadaji](#): > > Today, for the third day in a row, I heard Volkswagon advertise that their seats are more firm than American made cars. Wow! I can’t even imagine how bad their cars are if they think this is their best selling point. > > What commersials are working for you? ---
**Author:** ![maniondl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@maniondl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maniondl)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/125 "2004-04-16T19:59:23Z")
In the early nineties, I was living in the UK where there was short-lived but controversial series of commercials for a drink called Tango. I think it was some sort of orange soda. Anyway, in the commericals an unsuspecting Briton cracks open a can, takes a drink, and a short fat guy in orange paint runs out of nowhere and claps the person across both ears, with the slogan “You’ve been tangoed!” If done properly, the clapping thing can actually rupture one or both of the recipient’s eardrums. I, for one, was not about to buy a product whose message was essentially, “Drink tango and be deafened by an orange midget!” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/126 "2004-04-16T21:22:51Z")
> [@maniondl](#): > > In the early nineties, I was living in the UK where there was short-lived but controversial series of commercials for a drink called Tango. That series went on for years, so I don’t know what you mean by “short-lived”. Still, I know what you mean - “you know when you’ve been slapped round the head by some orange twat in a nappy” didn’t sell any cans of Tango to me either. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/127 "2004-04-19T22:32:27Z")
“Adreniline” perfume from Adidas I’m sorry Adidas but the first thing I think of when I think of Adreniline is sweat. I don’t want to buy perfume that smells like sweat. Chevy Suburban “Like a Rock” Rocks don’t move. Why would I want a car built like one? I came across this ad today for a local company. LOWEST PRICES IN TOWN. Plus 10% I want to call them up and have this conversation: “Hello. Is you ad right?” “Yes.” “Well could you please give me the name of the store that does have the lowest prices so I can save 10%?” ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/128 "2004-04-19T23:08:57Z")
I saw a commercial recently for a washer/dryer set (I forget the brand). It features a little boy, about 6 or 7 years old, who wakes up in the middle of the night to discover that he has wet the bed. So he strips all the sheets off the bed, and (with the assistance of the family dog) he drags the whole mess down to the laundry room, where he proceeds to wash the sheets. The washer is extremely quiet; however, the boy’s mom wakes up for some reason, and comes downstairs to find her son and the dog staring at the washing machine. She smiles, either at her son’s quick thinking or the overwhelming cuteness of the situation. Now, the whole point of this commercial seems to be that this washer and dryer are so quiet that you can run them in the dead of night without bothering anyone. However, the mother seems entirely unconcerned with her son’s betwetting. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/129 "2004-04-20T01:51:07Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Can anyone verify this, from News of the Weird: > > The Japanese navy created a TV ad in February to encourage enlistments and public support for its mission of sending security troops to Iraq. In the spot, according to a Reuters reporter, seven actors dressed, Village People-like, as sailors dancing on the deck of a ship, singing (roughly translated), “Nippon Seaman Ship, Seaman Shipo, For Love … For Peace” and “I Love Japan, I Love Peace, The Maritime Self-Defense Force.” (The ad is needed, said a senior officer, because “there are a lot of young people and women who don’t seem interested (in the navy).”) [Reuters, 2-26-04] Yep, it’s true. Even a lot of people here couldn’t believe it. [Japan’s seamen stained](http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/waiwai/0403/0311navy.html) And a photo from the commercial: [Seamen Ship](http://www.japantoday.com/e/?content=picture&id=1167) (no, I’m not just trying to be tasteless, that’s actually what it says in the ad) ---
**Author:** ![jimpatro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jimpatro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimpatro)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/130 "2004-04-20T03:30:41Z")
Just paraphrasing this Jack in the Box campaign slogan " The competition don’t know Jack about fast food." Did they really want the consumer to associate shit(Jack shit) with their establishment every time they heard the slogan? Cause that’s what I always did. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/131 "2004-04-20T12:26:52Z")
Jennifer Aniston’s commercial for L’Oreal bugged the hell out of me. “Listen carefully, here comes the science part” WTF??? Patronising, stupid, and I wouldn’t exactly call cosmetic company bumpf “Science”. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/132 "2004-04-20T12:49:22Z")
> [@irishgirl](#): > > Jennifer Aniston’s commercial for L’Oreal bugged the hell out of me. > “Listen carefully, here comes the science part” Did that play in the States? I’ve been listening to a UK radio station at work and they have a promo for their morning dj that features a young woman talking as if it is some sort of cosmetic and she says, “Okay, here comes the science bit.” That makes more sense, provided Irish & UK television play the same commercials. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/133 "2004-04-20T13:30:02Z")
> [@DrMemory](#): > > A recent advert for “Tampex” leaves me mystified. Their new selling point seems to be that they have wrappers that don’t make much noise. A Krinkle proof wrapper. Now, I’m not sure if this is a big source of embarrassement for some gals, but why is this an issue? The commercial had my wife and I looking at each other with the WTF look. That product is for when you want to put one in during the symphony without disturbing the people around you. I think the “brown” ones are bad too. There’s one that says “Brown and change”. I have a running argument with a pal of mine. I claim that’s when you shit your pants. He says its when you finish, wipe and then realize you have a little more that wants to come out. My vote: “Tom Raper RVs” You don’t NEED to name the company with your family name. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/134 "2004-04-20T13:53:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Probably not the image the GOP meant to convey about their candidate for first lady. They probably did. Americans, sort of in the same vein as “Yankee Doddle”, turned the insulting song into a badge of pride. Go fig, we do that sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/135 "2004-04-20T22:41:22Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > My vote: “Tom Raper RVs” You don’t NEED to name the company with your family name. There’s a “Raper Drug Store” in Goldsboro, NC. They advertise on local TV every now and then. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/136 "2004-04-20T22:52:06Z")
I think my favorite unintentionally ironic commercials are the Dr. Pepper ones where every one is celebrating how unique they are for drinking Dr. Pepper while they’re all drinking the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/137 "2004-04-21T00:00:44Z")
> [@Mayflower](#): > > Oh, man, I just remembered one that I _had_ to post. I remember a time that Tampax was touted as being sold “in decorator boxes.” I assume this was so that they would not clash with your living room decor when you displayed them on your coffee table. :rolleyes: Here in the UK they recently had an ad which I thought was really insulting to male intelligence. Girlfriend and Boyfriend are just about to have coffee and Girlfriend spills the contents of her handbag onto the table. Boyfriend picks up the sachet containing the tampon, but gives it back when the girl reminds him that he’s cutting down on sugar. So, do they really think guys are so dumb that they can’t tell the difference between a sachet of sugar and a tampon in a yellow wrapper??? ---
**Author:** ![Ruiniform](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9de053/32.png) [@Ruiniform](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruiniform)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/138 "2004-04-24T20:18:56Z")
Definitely the new McDonald’s chicken nuggets commercials. “_Now_ with white meat!” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/139 "2004-04-25T01:12:51Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > I saw a commercial recently for a washer/dryer set (I forget the brand). It features a little boy, about 6 or 7 years old, who wakes up in the middle of the night to discover that he has wet the bed. So he strips all the sheets off the bed, and (with the assistance of the family dog) he drags the whole mess down to the laundry room, where he proceeds to wash the sheets. The washer is extremely quiet; however, the boy’s mom wakes up for some reason, and comes downstairs to find her son and the dog staring at the washing machine. She smiles, either at her son’s quick thinking or the overwhelming cuteness of the situation. > > Now, the whole point of this commercial seems to be that this washer and dryer are so quiet that you can run them in the dead of night without bothering anyone. However, the mother seems entirely unconcerned with her son’s betwetting. My beef with this commercial is twofold: first, you’re treaded to an extended shot of steaming, bubblin’ urine spreading across the comforter. Then the kid proceeds to drag the urine-soaked bedding across the floors and carpets and THEN puts them DIRECTLY IN THE DRYER. Don’t kid yourself, there is no washing going on here AT ALL. What probably woke the mom up is the stench of baked urine permeating the house. Re: the “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” campaign…the most recent one is terrible. It shows a guy calling the front desk asking for a wake-up call and then asking “can I get that…to my cell phone?” If they left it at that, it would be a PERFECT ad. The target audience would immediately go: “oh - heh heh heh!” Instead they completely beat it to death with the guy going “hem haw, it’s my first time in Vegas, hem haw, you know, hem haw, I don’t know how late I’ll be out, hem haw, or if I’ll um, er, be back here in the morning!!! er, like you know?” It makes it look like “Vegas! If you’re a lameo panty-waist who can’t even be cool about gettin’ some - this is the town for you!” ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198/140 "2004-04-25T05:51:07Z")
Just saw this one on a miracle whip commercial: “I don’t want mayonnaise, I want miracle whip.” Guess you’re gettin what you ask for huh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-marketing-concepts/237198.md?page=8)