# Bad mom **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231 "2015-03-28T20:39:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![badmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@badmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmom)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/1 "2015-03-28T20:39:39Z")
I REALLY MESSED UP THIS TIME. My 18 year old son just moved here eight mo. Ago from living 1200 miles away n Hicksville to my house near big city. I knew he smoked weed, its legal HERE & its weed who cares, most successful people I know biggest potheads around. so I intro. Him to someone that at time had legal grow op. And occasionally used harder drugs. Since then said friend now deals n pills at leat 8 lb. Pot weekly daily heroin use and meth use. Dealing H occasionally. Breaks my heart as I no longer use. But son and I had argument he manipulated it so he could be friends roommate. Friend has amazing home great view but not for long way he is going. I NEVER WOULD HAVE INTRO THEM IF I REALIZED NEVER. I figured this man is a huge success even though he smokes, son will not stop smoking weed I don’t know. Figured if I knew… I don’t know. Son does NOT USE ANYTHING BUT POT PERIOD. He has tried other stuff HATED IT ALL THANK GOD. But I am scared friend will get busted he just isn’t all that slick, looks like hell but son WILL NOT MOVE OUT. DREAM HOUSE, FREE UNLIMITED POT YOHOO 18 ROCKS. BUT WHEN FRIEND GETS BUSTED WHAT HAPPENS TO MY SON.HE KNOWS, GOES ON RUNS TO PEOPLES HOUSE. SAY WHAT U WANT HE DOES NOT USE OTHER DRUGS. FACT U DONT KNOW HIM I DO. I KNOW NOT NORMAL AND STRANGE OUT OF ORDINARY BUT OH BLAH DEE. WHAT HAPPENS TO MY SON IS HE GOING TO GO TO PRISON TOO. OR NO SINCE HE ONLY SMOKES AND DOES NOT DEal. I WISH I COULD TAKE IT BACK. WHAT TYPE OF MOTHER… I I MESSED UP BAD. MY SON IS SMALL TOWN TRYING TO PROVE HIMSELF TO THE BIG CITY. NAIVÉ IS A WORD. PRIDEFUL, IGNORANT 18 YR OLD BOY. SUMS HIM UP SPOILED RICH BOY NEVER HAD WHATEVER HE WAS A HUGE FISH IN A TEARDROP NOW HE IS NOT EVEN A DROP N THE SEA. So he will not listen he thinks he can plead I don’t use it or deal it defense. Would that work. Will he get n any trouble at all because of knowledge. What do I do…is my son safe legally I know he isn’t in other realm’s. Please advice info facts laws JUST PLEASE HEP ---
**Author:** ![TCMF-2L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tcmf-2l/32/16553_2.png) [@TCMF-2L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TCMF-2L)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/2 "2015-03-28T20:50:34Z")
Reported for forum change ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/3 "2015-03-28T20:52:57Z")
**Moderator Action** Moving thread from About This Message Board to In My Humble Opinion. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/4 "2015-03-28T22:27:01Z")
Trying to parse this wall of text. You (this is a guess but I think a valid one) are immersed in a peer group that is heavily involved in drug culture. Your 18 year old son who came to live near you and you introduced him to this pot dealing friend of yours who is also a hard drug user and mid level dealer and who is now his landlord. Now you are concerned he may be swept up in the legal net when hard drug using and selling friend is eventually arrested? Not to question your setup but I’m not getting why a dealer rolling 8 lbs of pot a week out the door (assumedly illegally at this point) and making huge bank and who needs to be hyper vigilant about security would want or need an 18 old effective stranger to stay in his house and smoke his weed for free. Unless your son is servicing him sexually as a boytoy or similar the relationship makes no sense. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/5 "2015-03-29T00:27:09Z")
That was completely unintelligible. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/6 "2015-03-29T00:39:22Z")
> [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](#): > > That was completely unintelligible. Perhaps we’ll get a more reasoned explanation of the situation in, say 12 - 15 hours. Perhaps not. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/7 "2015-03-29T00:48:31Z")
> [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](#): > > That was completely unintelligible. No kidding. OP, who is the “he” dealing pot and using heroin in the beginning? Sounds like your son since he’s the only one you wrote about to that point, but then say he only smokes weed. Rewrite in at least middle-school skill level English, please. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/8 "2015-03-29T00:53:31Z")
> [@badmom](#): > > I really messed up this time. > > My 18 year old son just moved here eight months ago from living 1200 miles away in Hicksville to my house near a big city. I knew he smoked weed, its legal here and it’s weed so who cares. The most successful people I know are the biggest potheads around. So I introduce him to someone that at the time had a legal growing operation and occasionally used harder drugs. Since then said friend now deals in pills, at least 8 pounds of pot weekly, daily heroin use and meth use and dealing heroin occasionally. It breaks my heart, as I no longer use. > > But my son and I had an argument and he manipulated it so he could be friend’s roommate. Friend has an amazing home with a great view but not for long the way he is going. I never would have introduced them if I knew; never. I figured this man is a huge success even though he smokes. Son will not stop smoking weed; I don’t know. Figured if I knew…I don’t know. Son does not use anything but pot: period. He has tried other stuff and hated it all, thank god. > > But I am scared friend will get busted. He just isn’t all that slick and looks like hell. But son will not move out. Dream house, free unlimited pot, yoohoo! 18 rocks. But when friend gets busted, what happens to my son? He knows, and goes on runs to people’s houses. Say what you want, he does not use other drugs. In fact, you don’t know him; I do. I know it’s not normal and strange, out of the ordinary but oh blah dee. > > What happens to my son? Is he going to go to prison too? Or not, since he only smokes and does not deal. I wish I could take it back. What type of mother…I messed up bad. My son is small town, trying to prove himself to the big city. Naive is the word. Prideful, ignorant 18 year old boy sums him up. Spoiled rich boy never had whatever. He was a huge fish in a teardrop; now he is not even a drop in the sea. > > So he will not listen. He thinks he can plead “I don’t use it or deal it” as a defense. Would that work? Will he get in any trouble at all because of knowledge? What do I do…is my son safe legally? I know he isn’t in other realms. Please advise me on info, facts and laws. JUST PLEASE HELP! If he’s going on runs to people’s houses, he is involved in dealing. Even if he wasn’t, if Friend is running a house and your son lives there, Sonny will have a hell of a time convincing the authorities that he has nothing to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/9 "2015-03-29T01:53:09Z")
Huh. Expert job parsing if that is what it says. Anyway, the defense will not work. If he gets caught or the person he is living with gets caught your son will probably go to prison. I don’t know for how long, but it should not be too bad unless they also have guns or your son sells to an undercover narcotics agent. But I really don’t know, I am just guessing. He is eighteen and probably won’t listen to you. He is making some stupid mistakes and will most likely end up paying for them. You should give him your opinion, tell him the potential consequences, and then let him live his own life. You cannot save him. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/10 "2015-03-29T03:14:05Z")
You better believe that your son is doing more than just pot, and it seems that whoever wrote that travesty is using more than just pot too. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/11 "2015-03-29T03:21:02Z")
Thanks for parsing the long message. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/12 "2015-03-29T03:27:26Z")
You’re welcome. Yanno, between this and the DWI thread, both from brand-new posters, I’m thinking it’s time to rename this place to something other than Straight **Dope**. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/13 "2015-03-29T03:40:54Z")
> [@pool](#): > > You better believe that your son is doing more than just pot, and it seems that whoever wrote that travesty is using more than just pot too. Agreed. I like that comment about our website’s name. You don’t supposed a little Google-fu led the OP here, do you? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/14 "2015-03-29T05:15:43Z")
> [@badmom](#): > > NAIVÉ IS A WORD. No, it really isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/15 "2015-03-29T05:40:29Z")
> [@badmom](#): > > most successful people I know biggest potheads around You need to meet more people. May I suggest that you meet at least one who is not a drug dealer? By the way, that rules out your son; he’s dealing and he’s likely going to prison for it. Oh, forgot to mention something: You’re going to go to the Big House too if you have too much to do with those two dealers. You say you’ve warned him? Great. Now cut all ties until he’s no longer dealing and no longer living in a drug dealer’s home. ---
**Author:** ![SJL4041](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@SJL4041](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SJL4041)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/16 "2015-03-29T05:46:10Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > No, it really isn’t. You have to give her credit. Despite eschewing helping verbs, many nouns, and all sentence logic, she took the time to hunt down the capital E with an acute accent on it. Maybe it’s the meth talking, but I applaud that attention to wrong detail. ---
**Author:** ![badmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@badmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmom)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/17 "2015-03-29T08:30:22Z")
First I have over 11 YEARS CLEAN SECOND I suck at texting on phones or using tablets third I do HAVE MY BA. Last I had NO CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THEN I BELIEVED HE HAD FOUR PLANTS AND ONLY DID POT. DID NOT KNOW OF ANY OTHER DUG INVOLVEMENT HAVE NO OTHER FRIENDS WHO USE ANY DRUGS BUT I WILL PASS UR THOUGHTS OF THE PTA ON TO THEM AS MY OTHER FRIENDS DR. NURSES. YOU KNOW AVERAGE JUNKIES. I DID TELL MY SON WHAT I THOUGHT. HOW IDIOTIC HE IS BEING BUT DID NOT WORK. TO JUDGE SOMEONE AS YOU ALL DID for a post just shows how IGNORANT YOU TRULY ARE. MAYBE NEXT TIME U GOT TO AN Er maybe with mY THIRD GRADE Intelligence level I will get the joy of taking care of your uninsured high school dropout ass. Please let that be soon. I asked simple question COULD HE GET IN TROUBLE COULD HE GET ARRESTED SIMPLE. YET WILL I WILL NOT EVER COME BACK TO THIS JUDGMENTAL PLACE AGAIN . SO THANKS FOR HELPING. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/18 "2015-03-29T09:08:37Z")
> [@badmom](#): > > First I have over 11 YEARS CLEAN SECOND I suck at texting on phones or using tablets third I do HAVE MY BA. Last I had NO CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THEN I BELIEVED HE HAD FOUR PLANTS AND ONLY DID POT. DID NOT KNOW OF ANY OTHER DUG INVOLVEMENT HAVE NO OTHER FRIENDS WHO USE ANY DRUGS BUT I WILL PASS UR THOUGHTS OF THE PTA ON TO THEM AS MY OTHER FRIENDS DR. NURSES. YOU KNOW AVERAGE JUNKIES. I DID TELL MY SON WHAT I THOUGHT. HOW IDIOTIC HE IS BEING BUT DID NOT WORK. TO JUDGE SOMEONE AS YOU ALL DID for a post just shows how IGNORANT YOU TRULY ARE. MAYBE NEXT TIME U GOT TO AN Er maybe with mY THIRD GRADE Intelligence level I will get the joy of taking care of your uninsured high school dropout ass. Please let that be soon. I asked simple question COULD HE GET IN TROUBLE COULD HE GET ARRESTED SIMPLE. YET WILL I WILL NOT EVER COME BACK TO THIS JUDGMENTAL PLACE AGAIN . SO THANKS FOR HELPING. No worries babe! Mwah! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/19 "2015-03-29T10:35:32Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > You’re welcome. > > Yanno, between this and the DWI thread, both from brand-new posters, I’m thinking it’s time to rename this place to something other than Straight **Dope**. Heh, I’ve seen a spat of similar posts on another message board I’ve belonged to for eons. We’re nice compared to people on that message board (I stay out of these things, btw, not because I don’t care but because my bullshit meter becomes wonky on the troll-or-not-troll question when it comes to posts like this). There used to be forums for deep personal issues/secrets. Don’t they exist anymore? Granted I can see why one would stay away from Reddit with a post like the OP’s, but you’d think there was some kind of forum out there which deals with the OP’s issue, you know? That is, if the OP’s post is indeed a sincere post and not a troll… ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231/20 "2015-03-29T13:05:34Z")
> [@badmom](#): > > MAYBE NEXT TIME U GOT TO AN Er maybe with mY THIRD GRADE Intelligence level I will get the joy of taking care of your uninsured high school dropout ass. Please let that be soon. I asked simple question COULD HE GET IN TROUBLE COULD HE GET ARRESTED SIMPLE. YET WILL I WILL NOT EVER COME BACK TO THIS JUDGMENTAL PLACE AGAIN . SO THANKS FOR HELPING. Actually, I don’t think you asked either question. I could be wrong, with the rambling, incoherent text. You are a medical professional? Again, I am assuming. Your posts make no sense. But you know the answer to those questions. Yes, of course he could get arrested. He is 18, you can’t do anything about his choices. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-mom/716231.md?page=2)