# Bad News Baboon's Crush-O-Rama **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843 "2002-04-26T20:00:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2002, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/61 "2002-04-30T13:39:52Z")
the oracle has sent word that the second round of match ups is tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/62 "2002-05-01T17:11:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iconoplast \* > **Looks to me like we have a winner. šŸ˜ƒ So, Lightninā€™, how _you_ doinā€™?** Creeped out, thanks. :eek: How long did that take you? Jeezā€¦ _I_ didnā€™t even know some of that stuff! Youā€™re _GOOD_. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/63 "2002-05-01T19:04:16Z")
I hereby relinquish my Lightninā€™ stalking duties to **Iconoplast**. Quite an impressive list. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/64 "2002-05-01T19:32:47Z")
No way, **Fionn** - you were my first stalker; and once a stalker, _always_ a stalker. Besidesā€¦ Iā€™ve grown strangely used to youā€¦ Donā€™t think youā€™re gettinā€™ laid off since thereā€™s a new stalker- you two just need to compare notes and double-team me. Uh, so to speak. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/65 "2002-05-01T20:41:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*the oracle has sent word that the second round of match ups is tomorrow. \*\* Oooh! Can I be included? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/66 "2002-05-02T14:27:36Z")
Iā€™d like a crushee AND crush-er, please. I bet if you ask **Lindy** very nicely, heā€™ll fit both bills. šŸ˜ƒ -BK ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/67 "2002-05-02T16:46:23Z")
the oracle appologizes. He had a chili cook off to attend to yesterday. he said once he gets home from work and can concentrate on the topic at hand, he will assign crushees and crushers. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/68 "2002-05-02T16:56:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\*Iā€™d like a crushee AND crush-er, please. I bet if you ask **Lindy** very nicely, heā€™ll fit both bills. šŸ˜ƒ > > -BK \*\* Pff. You donā€™t even have to ask _at all_. Itā€™s already in the works. But then, you knew that. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![iconoplast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3d9bf3/32.png) [@iconoplast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iconoplast)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/69 "2002-05-02T17:05:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lightninā€™ \* > Creeped out, thanks. :eek: > > How long did that take you? Jeezā€¦ _I_ didnā€™t even know some of that stuff! Aw, it only took me a couple of hours, tops. But I canā€™t reveal trade secrets, you knowā€¦ > [@](#): > > Youā€™re _GOOD_. šŸ˜ƒ Everyone says that. šŸ˜‰ So, **Fionn** , whenā€™re we getting together to compare notes? This ā€˜double-teamā€™ concept intrigues meā€¦ šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/70 "2002-05-02T21:37:37Z")
ā€œHe used to be _such_ a nice boy,ā€ neighbors said in an interview after the incident. ā€œHe didnā€™t mow his lawn as much as we wouldā€™ve liked, but at least he kept the music down.ā€ ā€œBut then, one dayā€¦ he suddenly turned paranoid. He kept insisting that ā€˜theyā€™ knew everything about him, that ā€˜theyā€™ could find him, wherever he went. We tried to convince him that there really wasnā€™t anyone stalking him, but then he accused _us_ of being in on it!ā€ His neighbor wiped a tear away and continued, ā€œTo tell the truth, I think he kind of got to meā€¦ Sometimes I catch sight of these two strange women, sneaking around the areaā€¦ I wonder what they want?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/71 "2002-05-03T13:35:05Z")
Red indicates you are the object of affection. Blue indicates that you are the devotee. In no particular order: **Spooje** The next time someone brings in free doughnuts at work, do not under any circumstances eat a jelly filled. In fact, a wise one would choose chocolate glaze. **BobKitty** The oracle forcasts very bad things with **lindyhopper** and yourself. On 09-03-03 you will meet a woman wearing red. She will change your life for the better. * * * **duke** The next time you go to a convenience store, you should know that the lady behind the counter has lust in her heart towards you. Proceed with caution. _do not raise her ire_. **Fionn** on 05/25/02 someone will take you out to eat. On your waiterā€™s birthday, you will recieve VERY good news. * * * **Yosemitebabe** A strange bald man with a goatee and a black turtleneck driving a beige el camino will enquire about your artwork on 09/18/03. Proceed with caution. **Zebra** Avoid at all costs, Walmart on thursadys in June. dire consequences will follow if you do not head this, * * * **Opalcat** When your son goes to the 5th grade, there will be a boy named ā€œJamesā€ in his class. remember James - he will loom large in your future as a paramour. Mrs Robinson anyone? **Islandgirl** Despite your moniker, avoid the islands during 2003. Avoid Coconut products as well. Do,however, attend a Jimmy Buffet you will be invited to. * * * **Cuate** : ay yay yay. where to begin? Did you get your Samā€™s card yet? if so, buy lots of Preperation H. you will need it during August. In December, you will be invited to Ceilo Vista. You will meet a mysterious man with a checkered shirt and stained pants at Orange Julius. when you wake up from your comotose sleep the next day, you will find yourself in a bathtub filled with iceā€¦with your fingernails painted red! What this means, the oracle has no idea. he made that circling motion by his head with one finger,indicating you, and said ā€œcoocooā€ ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/72 "2002-05-03T15:15:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > **BobKitty > The oracle forcasts very bad things with lindyhopper and yourself.** šŸ˜› šŸ˜› šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/73 "2002-05-03T16:50:39Z")
šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/74 "2002-05-03T19:49:47Z")
Iā€™m an evil, bad, naughty kitty and I deserve to be spanked!!! šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/75 "2002-05-03T21:50:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\*Iā€™m an evil, bad, naughty kitty and I deserve to be spanked!!! > > šŸ˜‰ \*\* Donā€™t tempt me, woman! šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![syncrolecyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f08c70/32.png) [@syncrolecyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/syncrolecyne)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/76 "2002-05-03T22:47:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > **Cuate** : > ay yay yay. > where to begin? > > Did you get your Samā€™s card yet? > if so, > buy lots of Preperation H. > you will need it during August. > In December, you will be invited to Ceilo Vista. You will meet a mysterious man with a checkered shirt and stained pants at Orange Julius. > when you wake up from your comotose sleep the next day, you will find yourself in a bathtub filled with iceā€¦with your fingernails painted red! > > What this means, the oracle has no idea. > he made that circling motion by his head with one finger,indicating you, and said ā€œcoocooā€ \*\* Fine, I can understand the circling motions and such and suchā€¦but, and I ask this with all due respect, and in the most polite and least offensive way possibleā€¦ Why does the oracle hold such a grudge against my **ASS**? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/77 "2002-05-04T00:23:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LindyHopper \* > **Donā€™t tempt me, woman!** Puuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrā€¦ Throw in a ā€œDo as I say, womanā€ with just a hint of an accent, and Iā€™m ALL YOURS. Well, except for the moments when Iā€™m crushing on **Spooje**. But thatā€™s 'cause the Oracle is making me do itā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843/78 "2002-05-04T02:22:19Z")
cuate: in order to appease youā€¦ the oracle says you should buy lots and lots of mouthwash during the month of June. šŸ˜‰ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-baboons-crush-o-rama/105843.md?page=3)