# bad news for Cecil **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 13, 2001, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842 "2001-01-13T09:25:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/1 "2001-01-13T09:25:42Z")
Looks like [Microsoft](http://encarta.msn.com/column/userquestions1.asp) is moving in on your territory. Think you can handle them? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/2 "2001-01-13T09:44:15Z")
I say we find this Martha Brockenbrough and string her up Let’s sacrifice her to our GOOOOOOODDDD!! \ Just give the word Cec and you shall dine on her spleen in the morn! ---
**Author:** ![Alonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Alonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonist)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/3 "2001-01-13T12:49:22Z")
This “Brockenbrough” is most likely a genetically-altered clone of the equally annoying Marilyn “Mach” vos Savant, who has in the past, for instance, defended the systematic for-profit mutilation of baby ducks on the grounds that “They’re so _cute_ when they squeak! Besides, hubby and I need the money!” She (vos Savant) has lately taking to preaching morality to her readers, pehaps to cover for subconscious guilt for her ego-driven support of animal testing to develop artifical organs for human beings, to which I facetiously refer above. Actual vos Savant quote re animal testing:“We just have to grit our teeth and bear it.” Yeah, Marilyn- _we_ . I now return you to your regularly scheduled rant. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/4 "2001-01-13T12:59:21Z")
Microsoft’s little robot is clearly no contender to Cecil’s crown. Sure, she can answer questions on topics great and obscure, but Cecil can do that while being an enjoyable smartass. Her earnest replies will put her readers to sleep before they finish her pieces; Cecil’s answers always make you want to read more. This ‘competition’ can only make Cecil look better by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/5 "2001-01-13T14:12:32Z")
And I sneeze with my eyes open. She doesn’t appear to be competition of par caliber. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/6 "2001-01-13T16:24:08Z")
[quote] Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase “Sorry, Charlie.”[/quoute] What the HELL is that? Is she trying to be witty? She shouldn’t, she’ll hurt herself. I think that Cecil will get nothing more than a hearty laugh from this “competition”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/7 "2001-01-13T16:25:29Z")
Curses. That SHOULD be: > [@](#): > > Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase “Sorry, Charlie.” Preview, dammit, preview! ---
**Author:** ![Short](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Short](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Short)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/8 "2001-01-13T16:51:51Z")
I agree, Cecil should not be worried. Compare Martha’s hiccups answer (link above) with [Cecil’s Answer](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_118.html). I say kudos to Martha. Fighting ignorance in Microsoft is a big task :rolleyes:. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/9 "2001-01-13T17:12:01Z")
I saw Cecil at the recent NYC Dopefest, and I believe Cece could take her. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/10 "2001-01-13T17:59:42Z")
> [@](#): > > You can also gently blow your nose or rinse it with saline solution Ahh… Ahhhh… Ahhhhh… whew, it is a good thing I had this saline solution nearby. I almost sneezed. Ahhhh Chewwwwww!!! Who the hell can put together a saline solution fast enough to prevent a sneeze anyway?? > [@](#): > > You’re obviously interested in things that are right in front of your nose, so to speak. Oh good lord! This is just hilarious!!:rolleyes: Who the hell is going to read this crap? > [@](#): > > Kind of gives new meaning to the phrase "Sorry, Charlie. I just don’t get this at all. Is there a fish called a Charlie or something? I have no idea what she is trying to say here. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/11 "2001-01-13T18:11:59Z")
I say we pass the URL to some of our more, shall we say, unwanted posters (you know, JDT, MS and the like). I’m sure they have many questions that Martha will be happy to answer. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/12 "2001-01-13T19:27:40Z")
I just had an odd revelation. I can’t recall having hiccupped once in over the past 6 or 7 years. Is it a mutation? Is it my super power? Anyways–look at the report on Hiccups. This weird Microsoft Robot says that the world-record for Hiccups is 65 years. And cites a Mr. “Charles Osborne” of Iowa. Cecil claims that the record is 57 years, but doesn’t name anyone. Anyone feel like writing him a letter to clarify? At the very least, we’ll get another sampling of his dry, witty humor. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/13 "2001-01-13T20:37:52Z")
jeez… obscure questions answered without sarcasm or wit… what is the world coming to? I think she was trying to be friendly to her “constituents” by being funny, or something… but she just sounds… slightly flaky, i think ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-news-for-cecil/49842/14 "2001-01-14T01:44:35Z")
“Sorry, Charlie,” is a reference to an old tuna commercial. Starkist used to have a TV ad series with a tuna named “Charlie” who was always being rejected for becoming a Starkist tuna, on the grounds that Starkist only takes the best tuna. It’s one of those catch phrases like “Where’s the beef?” Except it was much longer running. I always thought it weird that Charlie _wanted_ to be eaten.