# Bad Parenting **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 27, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265 "2003-01-27T16:48:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/1 "2003-01-27T16:48:39Z")
I think I can say, without fear of contradiction, that [this](http://www.nbc5.com/news/1936289/detail.html) is an example of bad parenting. :mad: I heard this story of a three year old child being **CHAINED BY THE NECK** to a bed for “leaving the refrigerator door open” on Saturday night, after celebrating the upcoming baptism of my husband’s Godson. What a horrid, horrible contrast of feelings. ☹ I will never understand the mentality of people who intentionally do harm to children. ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/2 "2003-01-27T17:27:54Z")
It’s not just “people who intentionally do harm to children”, it’s their own parents. I spent several years in foster homes where I met children whose parents _hated_ them for having been born. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/3 "2003-01-27T17:33:37Z")
That sounds like intentionally doing harm to children in my book. You have the choice to express (overtly or covertly) HATRED to children, and I don’t understand people who would choose to do that. It’s actually more sad than maddening. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/4 "2003-01-27T17:48:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*I will never understand the mentality of people who intentionally do harm to children. \*\* As horrendous as this was, and in no way trying to excuse the wastes of space who did this, but > [@](#): > > Police said they recovered about 51 grams of crack cocaine and 15 grams of marijuana. People who keep that much crack around generally don’t have the same priorities as you or I. What they did was terrible, I know. But hardly surprising, given their lifestyle. I’m just glad those kids are out of that house. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/5 "2003-01-27T18:15:29Z")
The children were _adopted_. Someone cannot have children, yet wants them so desperately that they seek to adopt, and then they abuse them?? No child should ever have to go through that, but I thought adopted children were “safer.” I don’t know why I think that, but I do. I’m going to be sick. ---
**Author:** ![ffabris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a87d85/32.png) [@ffabris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ffabris)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/6 "2003-01-27T18:20:20Z")
My grandmother was orphaned at age 8. She was taken in by an uncle and was routinely kept chained or tied to her bed. This went on for a few years until she was rescued by a more distant relative, who arranged to become her legal guardian. The only reason I mention this is that there were no drugs involved in her situation. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/7 "2003-01-27T23:32:04Z")
I once heard of an 8 year old boy who was forced to have a bath in scalding hot water because he got his pants dirty. Poeple should have to pass an exam before they have kids… theres just too many stupid poeple out there that treat children like animals. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/8 "2003-01-27T23:37:17Z")
How did I know what this thread was about before I even clicked on it. > [@](#): > > His foster mother, Mary Bryant, 64, said the boy was chained because he stole food, according to police. She and the boy’s foster father, Melvin Bond, 49, were charged with misdemeanor child endangerment. Melinda Bryant, 29, Mary Bryant’s daughter, was charged with felony child endangerment and weapons and drugs charges. Misdemeanor child endangerment? Isn’t that a bit light? ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/9 "2003-01-28T01:03:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss Magic8ball \* > \*\*I once heard of an 8 year old boy who was forced to have a bath in scalding hot water because he got his pants dirty. > > Poeple should have to pass an exam before they have kids… theres just too many stupid poeple out there that treat children like animals. \*\* PAY SOME FUCKING ATTENTION!!! These were foster parents. They did have to go though interviews and periodic examinations and perhaps even something that qualified as a proper exam in the beginning and they still did this. Mandatory tests for those about to be parents would result in more children in lovely foster homes like this one BECAUSE FUCKING JUDGEMENTAL ASSHOLES will decide that some factor other than truly wanting children, wanting them to teach them, love them, and care for them and raise them up to be nice people is important. SOMET FUCKWADS ON THIS BOARD have even suggested that a desire to home school and keep animated Disney movies is proof that parents are gong to irretrievably fuck up their children. These were foster parents. Either they were good enough actors to make experts who are entrusted to determine what is a good home for children think they were good parents, even on repeated visits, or the experts who are entrusted to determine what is a good home for children did not care to look very closely. Either way, this incident itself in no way makes mandatory parenting exams for all parents look like a good idea. If anything it shows that the state is incompetent to make that determination. They certainly failed to do so in the incident cited in the OP. Reactionary bullshit suggestions like “Poeple should have to pass an exam before they have kids” is ignorance in an extremely odious form. Look at the details of the case in the OP. Can you still honestly repeat that garbage? How would mandatory exams help? What criteria would be used? What happens when they potential parent fails? How will you ensure that irrelevant nonsense is not used as criteria? How in the light of the complete failure of the system of foster care, where the state determines the competency of volunteers to become parents do you suppose that mandatory exams before anyone becomes a parent is a good idea? ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/10 "2003-01-28T01:33:08Z")
Did I read that right? Are you really trying, someplace in your pea-brain, to equate your recent Pit contretemps with a chain wrapped around the neck of a three-year old? ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/11 "2003-01-28T01:48:18Z")
Damn lee…how can you wrap your head around that one to make sense? This isn’t about all parents…it’s about ‘fucked-up’ people. Foster-parents…parents…anyone, you can’t argue the good side of this one. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/12 "2003-01-28T01:52:09Z")
lee, is it just fucking possible that magic8ball was speaking with a bit of hyperbole? Way to crowbar open healing wounds. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/13 "2003-01-28T03:42:14Z")
I think all that woman sperm has made **lee** a little testy. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/14 "2003-01-28T04:51:02Z")
Good god, **lee** , spare us the drama queen act, mmmkay? What the fuck crawled up your ass and died? > [@](#): > > Reactionary bullshit Oh the irony. :rolleyes: This is seriously fucking sick. However, as for why these parents would sign up for foster care? Probably for the money. ---
**Author:** ![Soilcreep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3e96dc/32.png) [@Soilcreep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soilcreep)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/15 "2003-01-28T05:06:52Z")
“Your honor, we were merely punishing the toddler for bringing all that crack into the house.” ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/16 "2003-01-28T07:02:20Z")
Good God, **lee** , are you trying for the title of ‘most meltdowns’? I agree with you that: "Either they were good enough actors to make experts who are entrusted to determine what is a good home for children think they were good parents, even on repeated visits, or the experts who are entrusted to determine what is a good home for children did not care to look very closely. " but must you make this thread an adgenda about you and your family? “SOME FUCKWADS ON THIS BOARD have even suggested that a desire to home school and keep animated Disney movies is proof that parents are gong to irretrievably fuck up their children” I think your words have illustrated that it’s not the lack of Disney that concerns us, but rather your constant meltdowns. Simple solution: If you don’t want people voicing their opinions, don’t share your personal lives on a board read by thousands. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/17 "2003-01-28T07:15:49Z")
Despite the invective, **lee** has a point - a required exam for parents could easily be a disaster. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/18 "2003-01-30T04:11:06Z")
I would also like to say that **lee** has a point. Her Disney ban, overzealous as it is, suddenly seems as nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Cessandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cessandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cessandra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/19 "2003-01-30T04:29:29Z")
I agree with lee wholeheartedly. Foster children are abused far too often for anyone to claim that the State has any business deciding who should and should not have children. > [@](#): > > [Massachusetts News](http://www.massnews.com/past_issues/2001/oct%202001/1091dss.htm) > U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services says that 62% of kids who end up in DSS-type agencies do not get there because of “child maltreatment,” yet a child is 25 times more likely to be abused in foster care than in the parental home, and the fatality rate in CPS (DSS) care is 5-times higher than in parental homes. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265/20 "2003-01-30T05:53:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss Magic8ball \* > \*\*I once heard of an 8 year old boy who was forced to have a bath in scalding hot water because he got his pants dirty. > > Poeple should have to pass an exam before they have kids… theres just too many stupid poeple out there that treat children like animals. \*\* The thing is, as foster parents, these people DID pass some kind of parenting tests established by the state. Officially speaking at least, they don’t just hand out children like surplus cheese. Maybe unofficially it is easier to get a foster child than a load of gubmint cheese. Nevertheless, there ARE standards (howver shitty) and these fruitcakes managed to pass. That say lots of scary things about the state. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-parenting/151265.md?page=2)