# Bad Poetry Corner **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 25, 2001, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701 "2001-07-25T03:01:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@ren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ren)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/21 "2001-07-31T22:53:25Z")
**The Red Roof** The red roof was red The red roof was red the red roof was red the red [sub]thank you, thank you[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/22 "2001-07-31T23:23:10Z")
I sing of thee, o back pimple, for summing up for me my life, for bringing me, in short, my present, faced with which, I had no choice, but to act. Several days it was approaching, bearing in it who knows what, building up to some dark climax, gathering the noxious substance, beneath the skin. . No dark force could have informed it, festering abysmally, that its presence duplicated, all its hosts pathetic trials, all his gaffes, his weak resolve, his meek acceptance of temptation, his faltering and plain ambitions, mirrored there upon a shoulder, borne within. Days of pain anticipated, nights of sleeplessness, fatigue, building towards that one sharp moment, the thankful, glad realization, that with the proper care and pressure, all these matters could, so gently, but so painfully, in sudden burst, of gushing, strange complete relief, to a head. ---
**Author:** ![Fogglethorpe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Fogglethorpe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fogglethorpe)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/23 "2001-08-04T21:39:39Z")
There once was a man from New Joisey who packed up and moved to Boise His friends all inquired why he felt so inspired He said, “Idaho is less noisy” ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/24 "2001-08-05T01:47:23Z")
Nothing, IMo, beats [StinkyMeat haiku.](http://www.thespark.com/science/stinkymeat/haiku/) For the cause of all this _beautiful_ poetry, begin at the [beginning.](http://www.thespark.com/science/stinkymeat/) ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/25 "2001-08-05T02:01:51Z")
I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as SDMB. darn it, I forgot the rest. ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/26 "2001-08-05T02:10:36Z")
On a more serious note, here is the worst haiku I ever wrote. This will make more sense if you know of the hysteria over Aum Shinrikyo’s abduction of their harshest critic, Mr. Sakamoto. It was suspected that Aum murdered him and buried him in a forest. I wrote this poem while they were digging up the forest hunting for his body: Sakamoto-shi, doko ni iru kai. Daijoubu? (Mr. Sakamoto, where are you? Are you OK?) This poem seriously offended about half of my classmates and a few teachers as well. ---
**Author:** ![demanton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@demanton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/demanton)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/27 "2001-08-05T06:37:07Z")
I am so depressed this stamp on my hand serves as the only reminder that my plight here is useless I drink this beer and I do not talk to you do you not understand No you do not dance away I will not remember ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/28 "2001-08-05T06:45:26Z")
Hell… you want bad fucking poetry? I’ll give you bad fucking poetry. She was a comely fetching lass what I noticed first was her shapely ass Her hair was long and brown I was staring down her gown we went to a local bar and ummm like did shit in her car ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/29 "2001-08-05T07:00:41Z")
So…I really wrote this about 6 years ago- and I wasn’t high. It was a goof then, too though. I think. \*\* Meatballs\*\* Little round balls of meat, Feel so gross to bare feet. Maybe I can find the one that talks about how flowers are pretty, but cause allergy symptoms… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/30 "2001-08-05T07:20:34Z")
Blister and peel my finger Has touched the fire Of Eternal Damnation. Smoke and smolder my skin Reeks of the charcoal That Cooks The Devil Ouch, damn --burns **Anger Rage Fire COOK BACON NAKED!** Then you will know hell in your soul food. [sup]Thank you, thank you very much. I’ll see you all over at the poetry slam at the JavaScript Cafe ---
**Author:** ![boomvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@boomvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boomvark)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/31 "2001-08-05T13:45:20Z")
Old Nantucket man calls autofellatio easy … Ow, my back! ---
**Author:** ![Fosfero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@Fosfero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fosfero)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/32 "2001-08-05T13:58:25Z")
Oh flaming anus never silent, never still F\*\*KING HEMORRHOIDS! One blurry picture Unconvincing, unconfirm’d Bigfoot on the loose! Verdant Urgency Hunger beating buzzing air Gentle Hummingbird ---
**Author:** ![boomvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@boomvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boomvark)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/33 "2001-08-05T18:34:21Z")
I’ll speak her language, maybe then she’ll go for me: _buck, buckbuck, bucKAW_. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/34 "2001-08-05T23:23:23Z")
Vegetable Man Don’t stare and whisper I am not an animal I’m a human bean ---
**Author:** ![Fogglethorpe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Fogglethorpe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fogglethorpe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2001, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701/35 "2001-08-05T23:54:29Z")
There once was a man from a place who did something that rhymes with the first line then something else happened as a result of it and here’s the amusing last part [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/73701.md?page=1)