# Bad Poetry Corner **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 25, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715 "2001-09-25T16:05:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/1 "2001-09-25T16:05:01Z")
Today’s verse is titled…“Beauty” I wish that I could see your face behind that dingy hair. Your smile could make the angels cry, a tooth like that is rare. Your good eye looks into my soul. Your bad eye at the floor. Though I’d rather run away. Your leer I can’t ignore. From real small hills my love for you, will echo through the lands. These real small pills are all I need. To hold your ugly hands. Kaotic Newtral. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/2 "2001-09-26T15:34:18Z")
Sheesh…no other bad poetry…C’mon you can do better. 😉 For my next ode…I shall prove the undoable. I shall rhyme purple…orange, and silver. Butterflies and Hummingbirds of yellow and of purple, hang around back on the deck and eat the freakin nurpil. (a kind of flower) A tiger cub and tiger mom of black and white and orange broke into my little house and wrecked my bebop-oranje. (another word for door) A small red fox, a coyote one’s maroon one’s silver, hang around on in my backyard and look for things to snilver. (it means eat) I know, it’s incredible…but, with practice I’m sure you can all be pro’s like me. Give it a shot! -Kaotic Newtral ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/3 "2001-09-26T15:50:07Z")
Sambone I have a friend I call Sammy I call him Sammy Pants, too Occasionally, it’s Sammy Britches, The name, it chafes and itches, And he bitches and bitches and bitches Without Sammy, I would be blue. Fried Chicken Salad Take your Italian dressing Throw it in the river I never order Italian dressing The smell, it makes me quiver (And not in a good way, you damned dirty apes). Ok, I just woke up. I’ll do better later. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/4 "2001-09-26T15:57:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sophie \* > \*\*(And not in a good way, you damned dirty apes). > > Ok, I just woke up. I’ll do better later. \*\* I’m impressed with your bad poetry-ness! I think you’ll have to throw some made up words in before you turn pro though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sophie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@Sophie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophie)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/5 "2001-09-26T16:13:18Z")
Sleepy Pants Dance I put you on, Mr. Sleepy Pants I dance around: the Sleepy Pants Dance Try as you might to keep me toasty My hiney is always nice and froasty (which is a lot like frosty) ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/6 "2001-09-26T16:44:38Z")
Froasty! Beautiful! I dig it. lemme try again… A tree is at least just as tall, as a giant’s lowest ball. A shrub’s a mighty giant though, to an ants left testico . (a word for little ant jewels) ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/7 "2001-09-26T16:51:31Z")
_ **Zappo** enters wearing a beret, black turtleneck, jeans and Jesus sandals. Stinky French cigarette hanging from his lips, he climbs to the dais and noisly slurps from his glass of cheap red wine._ Ahem. An Ode to Kimberly I know a girl named Kimberly, She lives in Memphis, Tennessee. In that humid and sultry town The word “barbecue” is a noun, Unless you’re referring to an outdoor cooking appliance. Another Ode to Kimberly Kimberly has soft red hair, It smells like cinnamon, Or maybe a pear. Although she is a wimminon (means a female) She’s not fond of swimminon Because she doesn’t have a pool. The Third (and Probably Last) Ode to Kimberly Kimberly is my good friend, I love her without an end. She makes me laugh, she makes me cry, And then with kisses my tears she’ll dry. But if I ever call her Kimmy, My ass she’ll kick And with fear I’ll shimmy. My Great Big Cadillac Car I drive a big black Cadillac, In the window there is no gun rack. I drive in it both near and far, It’s a bigass Cadillac car, But it costs a fortune to keep the gas tank filled. Thank you. _exits to sound of snapping fingers and fast bongo drums_ ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/8 "2001-09-26T16:58:35Z")
… Clears throat … ahem … hawk, hawk I once had a treasure And you are a treasure I treasured my treasure Like I once treasured you And it was my pleasure To look at my treasure And treasure my treasure Like I once treasured you Then one day under pressure I gave up my treasure In all it’s great measure I gave it to you So treasure my treasure Like I treasured my treasure Enjoy it with pleasure Like I once treasured you… ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/9 "2001-09-26T16:59:38Z")
Zappo…gotta dig it. **wimminon (means a female)** That was good. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/10 "2001-09-26T17:08:44Z")
Cool, my turn. “Ode to dogs” I had a yellow poodle, It peed in yellow squirts. I had a chocolate labrador, It shitted small deserts. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-poetry-corner/83715/11 "2001-09-26T17:50:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kaotic Newtral \* > \*\*Cool, my turn. > > “Ode to dogs” > I had a yellow poodle, > It peed in yellow squirts. > I had a chocolate labrador, > It shitted small deserts. > > 🙂 \*\* Ahem! That should read _desserts_, but deserts kinda stays with the idea better. 🙂 -Kaotic Newtral