# Bad sitcom. Good joke. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 30, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260 "2005-08-30T15:08:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/1 "2005-08-30T15:08:24Z")
Over the decades the airwaves have abounded with crap TV shows, so bad that most people won’t admit to watching them. I’m not talking Suddenly Susan, I’m talking Gilligan’s Island. Saved by the Bell. Small Wonder. ALF. But every now and then, the writers of these shows would hit upon a real knee slapper. What are your favorites? -The Brady Bunch: The Brady’s stop by a ghost town on their way to the Grand Canyon. They meet old timey prospector Jim Bachus. He explains what it was like in the old days. “Every night, drinkin’, shootin, and gamblin’, drinkin’, shootin, and gamblin’!” He then takes off his hat reverently. “Except on Sundays. No gamblin’.” -The Partidge Family: Someone says “I have a problem.” Shirley says “Oh no, I hope it’s not a bad problem!” Keith says “No, it’s probably a _good_ problem.” -Ibid: Keith gets beaten up by a bully. Laurie, who is taking judo lessons, flips the bully and saves Keith’s ass. They both complain about the reputations they are getting from this. Laurie: “They’re all calling me Flip Wilson!” Keith: “They’re calling me Geraldine.” ---
**Author:** ![leandroc76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@leandroc76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leandroc76)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/2 "2005-08-30T15:18:46Z")
One I’ll never forget, Frasier: Martin: "You’re using SEX to get what you want!!! It’s not right! Frasier: "MEN, can’t use sex to get what we want,… sex _ **IS** _ what we want!!! ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/3 "2005-08-30T15:22:06Z")
Married With Children: [Kelly has a zit] Al: Now here’s all the money I’ve got. I want you to go to a pharmacy and get some real medicine. Kelly: Outside? But Daddy, what if somebody sees my pimple? Al: Pumpkin, it’s dark. Nobody’s going to see the pimple. Kelly: I guess you right. I guess I’m being silly, huh? [opens door] Man from distance: Whoa. Look at the zits on the blonde chick. Kelly: Thank God he didn’t see the pimple, huh? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/4 "2005-08-30T15:22:48Z")
Good one, but I wouldn’t call Frasier a crap show. I don’t want to fill this thread up with the good stuff, it could go on for pages! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/5 "2005-08-30T15:24:43Z")
ALF: Alf sets the kitchen drapes on fire. The mother and father put the fire out while Alf lounges. The father berates him for not helping put out the fire that he started. Alf says “I didn’t think it was a three man job.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/6 "2005-08-30T15:25:07Z")
Not a bad sitcom, but I love the comment. From M_A_S\*H: Henry Blake: (Disgusted) Time zones! Why do we have Time Zones, anyway? Radar: Because the earth is round and keeps rotating, sir. Henry Blake: (Chastised) Oh. I thought was some kinda Army thing. … ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/7 "2005-08-30T15:34:19Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Not a bad sitcom, but I love the comment. From M_A_S\*H: > Henry Blake: (Disgusted) Time zones! Why do we have Time Zones, anyway? > > Radar: Because the earth is round and keeps rotating, sir. > Henry Blake: (Chastised) Oh. I thought was some kinda Army thing. > > … Then there’s the exchange between Radar and Frank when Frank wants to buy Pioneer Aviation. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/8 "2005-08-30T15:53:46Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Then there’s the exchange between Radar and Frank when Frank wants to buy Pioneer Aviation. The MASH trivia thread is three doors down. In this thread you should really just tell us what the joke is. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/9 "2005-08-30T15:56:57Z")
Again not actually a bad show, but I remember this exchange on Cheers. They were talking about somebody having a problem relative. Woody: Everybody has problems in their family. There was this one time my grandfather did something so bad, the whole family had to change our names to Anderson and move to Ohio. Sam: But Woody, your family name is Boyd and you’re from Iowa. Woody: Well, yeah, there was a problem in Ohio too. ---
**Author:** ![Pashnish\_Ewing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8797f3/32.png) [@Pashnish\_Ewing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pashnish_Ewing)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/10 "2005-08-30T16:03:08Z")
In one episode of the failed and extremely unfunny _Love and War_ starring Susan Dey and Jay Thomas, there was one line that really had me laughing. Those two were driving on a deserted road and about to run out of gas. Susan was upset at Jay for not filling up the tank **Susan:** Just once I’d like to see a man fill up with gas when there’s more than a quarter tank left! **Jay:** [Dismissing] Huh, that’s no man. Well, maybe you had to hear it… Pash ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/11 "2005-08-30T16:03:18Z")
> [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > The MASH trivia thread is three doors down. In this thread you should really just tell us what the joke is. I would but I can’t remember enough of the darn thing to do it justice. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/12 "2005-08-30T16:29:01Z")
In keeping with the spirit of the OP, from _The Love Boat_ , Jimmy (J.J.) Walker was playing an exterminator who left a customer in limbo while he went off on the boat chasing his girlfriend. As the ship sailed off he hollered to the customer on the dock, “Don’t worry about your termites, lady, 'cuz when the house falls down it’ll kill 'em.” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/13 "2005-08-30T16:45:41Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > Sam: But Woody, your family name is Boyd and you’re from Iowa. > Woody: Well, yeah, there was a problem in Ohio too. Must have been one hell of a problem. Woody was from Indiana. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/14 "2005-08-30T16:55:22Z")
This from Gilligans Island always gave me the giggles. It was the episode when a guy comes to the island and kidnaps Ginger (I think it was Ginger) and leaves a ransom note asking for a low sum of money. Mr. Howell in response to the ransom note: (Clenching teeth) “If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a cheap kidnapper!” Giggle Giggle :wally \<------me ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/15 "2005-08-30T16:55:34Z")
Oh, oh! This one time on **Full House** Uncle Joey started doing this real funny cartoon voice… NOT!!! ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/16 "2005-08-30T17:45:30Z")
The musical version of _Hamlet_ that the gang put on in one episode of _Gilligan’s Island_ was brilliant in its ridiculousness. > [@the Skipper as Polonius](#): > > Neither a borrower nor a lender be! > Do not forget: stay out of debt. > There’s just one other thing > You have to do: > To thine own self be truuuuue! ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/17 "2005-08-30T17:58:11Z")
From _Saved by the Bell_: Mr. Belding: Screech, you can’t elope! Screech (angrily): Who you calling a canteloupe, you melonhead? Okay, so I thought it was funny… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/18 "2005-08-30T18:02:47Z")
There are two crappy sitcoms from the past, _Bosom Buddies_ and _Perfect Strangers_, that had lousy premises and usually bad plots. But each one had a great comedy team leading them. Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari were really good at playing off one another, as were Bronson Pinchot and Mark Linn-Baker. I’d watch the shows just for the moments of brilliance when the team was working like a Swiss watch. Sorry I don’t have any specific examples, but these two programs are what I think of when I consider bad shows with very funny moments. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/19 "2005-08-30T18:12:34Z")
> [@](#): > > The musical version of Hamlet that the gang put on in one episode of Gilligan’s Island was brilliant in its ridiculousness. > Quote: > Originally Posted by the Skipper as Polonius > Neither a borrower nor a lender be! > Do not forget: stay out of debt. > There’s just one other thing > You have to do: > To thine own self be truuuuue! Bravo! I remember that. Another piece of sitconm detritus that still litters the cultural scene (I _still_ hear this, decades later) is the song “Happy Anniversary” sung to the tune of “The William Tell Overture” (You know, the part that gave us the Lone Ranger music): _Happy Anniver-sa-ry! Happy Ann-i-ver-sary! Happy Ann-i-ver-sar-y! Haaaaaaaa—ppy Anniversary!"_ It’s from **The Flintstones** from the early 1960s. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260/20 "2005-08-30T18:12:36Z")
“Happy Days” during its first few seasons had its moments but, by the time of this joke, it was either near or past the episode where the term “jumping the shark” derived from. In it, Richie, Potsie, and Ralph have gotten together and moved into their own apartment where they divvy up the chores. Potsie agrees to do the laundry but fails to separate colors and ends up turning the entire batch of clothes green. The situation itself is pretty funny but what makes the scene for me is when a supremely pissed Ralph exclaims, “You gave me a wardrobe like Peter Pan’s!” Maybe the line by itself isn’t all that funny but Ralph’s alternately exasperated and horror-struck delivery is. Oddly enough, in reruns, that scene was cut out. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-sitcom-good-joke/319260.md?page=2)