I guess my attitude about the “free refill” question is that, since it’s just a matter of a different mix, and it isn’t harder for them to get me a sprite than a coke or whatever, it shouldn’t be a big deal for them to subsitute one soft drink for another. But that being said, it’s not a big deal, and if they won’t do it, it’s not worth making a case over it. And I sort of like it when they give me refills without me asking.
About the whole “what order the waitstaff should serve people”, I obviously think they should serve me first, and the hell with the other diners. But in all seriousness, as long as you’re not keeping me waiting for an excessive period of time, or blatantly ignoring me, I’m generally willing to give waitstaff a pass. Obviously, if some baby needs milk or something, get the kid his milk, because it’s less unpleasant to wait for a few more minutes than have to listen to a crying baby for any longer than is absolutely necessary.
In summary, I guess, I go out to eat to get a good meal and have a good time, so while I don’t want really rotten service, keeping a long checklist of rules with points and all that isn’t really my idea of a good time either.
I guess, but what I don’t understand is why it bothers you so much. I mean, you don’t have to drink the refill, and it’s free anyway, so if you don’t drink it, it’s them wasting money and not you.
Why do you keep insisting that the server is ORDERING FOR YOU when the bring you a free refill? If you aren’t going to want a free refill, why don’t you try doing the intelligent thing and tell the server that you do not want any refills WHEN YOU ORDER THE DRINK IN THE FIRST PLACE. Or, if when you order a drink you aren’t sure if you’re going to want a refill, why don’t you tell the server to ask before bringing you one? I’ve eaten at restaurants where it is store policy for servers to automatically refill or top off drinks, and at restaurants where the servers are (apparently, since that’s what they do) required to ask if you want a refill if they see that your glass is empty. Either way, as Captain Amazing has pointed out, it’s not that big a deal. You aren’t being charged for the refill, or the water, or the complimentary bread/nachos/whatever, and if its very presence on the table is so offensive to you, then ask the server to remove it.
It wasted MY TIME and it would have been a heck of a lot quicker if they would have gotten what I wanted instead of wasting time getting something I didn’t want.
If I end up wanting the drink, it’s not as bad, but STILL, it irks me to see that they weren’t CONSIDERATE enough to ASK my permission first if it was ok or not by asking if I wanted a refill.
If I don’t want a refill at all, it wastes my time that maybe I want the check instead or I just don’t need anymore drink.
It bothers me, because it’s not something THEY should be deciding upon, that’s the CUSTOMER’S JOB to decide what or if they want something to drink or not, NOT AT ALL THE SERVER’S JOB unless the customer gives their permission to do so.
:dubious: How am I supposed to take you seriously if you don’t underline and bold at least *some *of the words in all caps? Yep, you don’t ***really ***mean it.
Well I would agree that would be entertaining–it isn’t often you can see two trolls hash it out. But then you would have to get Springs to actually POST in some other thread. She has only posted in this thread.
I would also worry about that much crazy in one thread–you could make the interwebs explode.
WHY are you denying the COMMON SENSE TRUTH? When they bring you a refill without asking or being asked,which 99% of the restaurants out there give free refills, you are doing something you don’t know 100% FOR SURE is what the customer wants, which IS truly picking out an option on the menu for a drink(which is to fill the glass or give a new glass again with the same drink that was first ordered.) The first ordered drink has NOTHING at ALL to do with the second or third or forth sets of drinks, do you understand that or what? The first drink ordered has NOTHING to do with refills. Do you understand that common sense concept? When I order a coke, that’s ONE GLASS OF COKE, NOT SEVERAL REFILLS OF IT. If you were ordering it when you intially ordered, you’d have your refills all at once, which you don’t. That’s why it’s an OPTION to get a refill or not.
I wouldn’t know if I would or not, until I see if I have enough. Do you have common sense or what? Maybe Levdrakon knows, but most people don’t know if they will have enough with one or not until they start drinking and eating. It’s kind of like knowing if you want a dessert when you are really hungry and haven’t nearly finished your entree yet if you are deciding to get one or not that is.
Just as the customers on this board state they don’t want to ask to get refills without being asked, I won’t either. The valid reasons I have are as follows:
The customer is supposed to do the ordering which is common sense.
**ANY CONSIDERATE **server doesn’t overstep.
Since the refills without asking or being asked only happens like 35%-40% my outings, it would be a complete WASTE OF TIME and when I am hungry, I sure as hell don’t want to waste any time. Wasting time for others as well to tell servers stupid things they should already know is common sense that the customer does their own ordering.
I am not their baby-sitter that I should have to tell them something that is common sense that you let the customer make their own decisions about if or what they want to drink.
I AM NOT THERE TO TELL THEM “HEY DON’T ORDER FOR ME.” That’s my job to do ALL the ordering, NOT THEIRS! If I give them permission to, that’s a different story, but I don’t give them permission, so that’s my point.
If it’s required, WHY ALL SERVERS don’t do it?
The server should have been CONSIDERATE about what I personally wanted by coming to ASK FIRST. The server should have thought about they could be wasting my time and making me wait LONGER to get what I do want whether it would be a different drink or the check or wasting their own time that could have been on other customers even.
It doesn’t matter if I am not being charged for them. The fact is, they have wasted my time if I don’t want it and are OVERSTEPPING by doing the ordering for me. THOSE reasons are why it’s offensive. Give me a chance to place my order is what I want. The ones that don’t want that need to tell their server, because that is NOT the way dining out is supposed to go, because we all get a menu for a reason. **That reason is WE as customers make OUR OWN DECISIONS about what drinks and food go on OUR TABLE WHEN WE DINE OUT! **NO ONE ELSE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO MAKE THAT DECISION UNLESS ASKED TO!
I suppose. It still seems like you’re much more upset about this than it warrants, though. I’ve found that in general, when it comes to little things like that, it just isn’t worth getting worked up about them. I think you’ll have a better time when you go out, if you just learn to take the little things in stride.
And, if you think about it, they’re trying to do you a favor…they’re giving you refills without stopping to interrupt your eating or your talking with your friends or your reading, or whatever you’re doing. Now, I know you want them to do that, but there are a lot of people who don’t…they want the waitstaff to be as inobtrusive as possible. So, what you might want to do when you sit down and place your drink order is say, “Hey, I’m watching my soda intake, so I’d appreciate it if, when you see my glass is empty, you ask me if I’d like a refill instead of just automatically bringing me one.” I’m sure the waiter or waitress would be glad to do it, and that way you won’t have to worry.
Well, clearly that isn’t always true. You’re turning what should be a simple dining experience into an assertion of your personal autonomy. If you get this worked up about dining out, you probably shouldn’t do it, honestly.
That’s why servers can’t read minds by the customers that don’t want to be interrupted to tell their server that or the servers start asking if the customers want that type of service.
It doesn’t matter what MOST people want, because when you serve, you serve a DIFFERENT PEOPLE, NOT the same. Also, dining out is supposed to be where YOU get to say what you want or don’t want. That is COMMON SENSE!
Is the server DRINKING the drink? NO! Then WHY should they have ANY SAY SO IN THAT DECISION?
WHY? I rarely get that type of service, WHY waste my time and be the server’s baby-sitter or a PREDICTER of what they “MIGHT” do if I don’t tell them this?
Do you realize how long that would take me to do that when I and other customers are hungry to say all of that and that MOST of the time it would be 100% for nothing?
I shouldn’t have to be the server’s baby-sitter in my dining experience. They are there to serve ME, the CUSTOMER, NOT to play the mind reader game with me and ASSUME THINGS in my service.
I am there to give my orders and to be asked about what I want. I am not there for my server to ASSUME I want a refill.
WHY tell them I don’t want them to bring me an refill automatically that I might get something else when it’s COMMON SENSE THAT CONCEPT IS VERY POSSIBLE? That makes no sense to act like they “MIGHT” do it when they don’t most of the time nor is it their right to order for me, which they KNOW that’s COMMON SENSE and they know they might be wrong when predicting.
I will NOT waste VALUABLE TIME for myself nor other customers telling them what is COMMON SENSE THAT WE ORDER FOR OURSELVES THROUGHOUT OUR ENTIRE SERVICE, LIKE DUH!
It IS true. The fact is, the servers are deciding to make the decisions at times for us about what we want or don’t want by not ASKING or LETTING US ASK FIRST.
It isn’t true. If it were true, you wouldn’t be so upset. But the fact is, places do give you free bread and free tortilla chips. Some servers do refill your drinks without asking. A lot of places don’t allow substitutions with their entrees.
So, if you have a problem with any of this, it’s up to you to say something politely to your server. You can say it shouldn’t be. You can say it should be common sense that it’s the other way, but like it or not, it often is that way. So, if you don’t like it, then stop complaining about it online and do something. Tell the servers what you want. Don’t go to restaurants that don’t give you what you want.
Yea I understand. The last time I went into church that Priest guy just gave me this bread wafer thing! What if I wanted butter with it, or maybe a different bread or maybe no bread at all. It isn’t his decision to make!!! Didn’t ask, then he wanted me to drink this red wine, WTF!! What if I wanted a diet coke? Did he ask? No–he just ASSUMED that I wanted WINE!!! He is there to SERVE me!!! What if I wanted the bread and cheese huh? Did that Priest guy think of that? I say no–he is just rude!!! Those servers are all the same.
Springs1, when you eat at a restaurant how often do you order one drink, then after you finish it decide that instead of a refill of that drink you want to drink something else (and I don’t mean have coffee and then decide you want a Coke)? I don’t think I’ve ever done that; when I sit down and the server asks what I want to drink, I order whatever I’m in the mood for on that day. I consider it a COMMON SENSE CONCEPT (as you put it) to stick with one kind of beverage with a meal - except for those rare occasions when I decide to start my meal with a single alcoholic drink and after I finish it have something nonalcoholic.
As others have stated, you seem determined to make dining out an exercise in asserting your authority over every little thing. Nothing is ever done right, according to your supposedly common sense rules. If I had your attitude toward dining out I would find it so stressful that I couldn’t possibly enjoy it.
I’m reminded (if I may be permitted to inject a little culture into this discussion) of something George Bernard Shaw said in Caesar and Cleopatra: “He is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.” You insist that your opinions of what is fair, right, just, etc must be imposed on everyone, and anyone who disagrees with you is wrong.
How does Springs1 have time to go out to eat, with all the mind-blowing text she’s typing up here? Shit, I wouldn’t have time to order a delivery pizza if I had blown as much time typing in all caps.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Who wants to go out to eat with her? RAISE YOUR HAND, FOLKS!
C’mon, it’s a once in a lifetime experience. You too could find that mythic server who provides the mythic service that would make her cough up that mythic tip.
When I’m bartending at work I just cut off people like this. She’s giving me horrible flashbacks to my waitressing days, where you just have to take peoples’ shit and swallow it whole.
Thank God she doesn’t live here. That’s all I’m saying.
Somebody somewhere has to deal with her, but it ain’t me.
I have never seen a bridezilla come out over ordering a drink, me me me, get over it or take this simple advice. When you get a drink you did not order, stand up scream at the top of your lungs, " I DID NOT ORDER THIS", and throw it at your waitperson, storm out, free meal.
Its ok and expected for you to do this so don’t worry about consequences, you’ll be fine.
I managed to say it out loud here in about 4 seconds. You could shorten it to, “Please ask if I want a refill first,” and get it under 3 seconds. OH NOES YOUR TIME IS WASTED!
Then you come online and waste LOTS and LOTS of time typing idiotic rants. How long do those take you?
I saw you got banned from one foodservice forum after only six posts; is this a new record for you, here on Straight Dope, for most posts without being banned for being batshit insane?
So you’ve found one person in a thread of, at last count, 619 posts. And that one person came back and said you took him out of context and he really didn’t agree with your general thesis at all. In the entirety of this thread, the internet, the intranet, the Library of Congress, and bathroom scrawlings, that’s what you’ve hung your hat on.
So you’re back to you, yourself and y’all. It’s you against the rest of the dining world. Those are FACTS they are NOT OPINIONS!
[sub]Hell, at this point, I’ll take your husband logging on and saying he actually agrees with you. In fact…wow, that would be awesome if he did[/sub]
