# Bad Wedding Song Choices **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 12, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126 "2003-09-12T03:29:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/21 "2003-09-12T11:00:33Z")
I’ve prepared a list of songs banned from **My Big Fab Gay Wedding®**. Most are on the list because they’re too gay-cliché (“I Will Survive”; “YMCA”), but some are on the list, well… because… _… playing something like “When A Man Loves A Woman” or even “The Wedding Song”[sup]\*\*\*\*\*[/sup] (Captain & Tennille) at a gay wedding would elicit snickers and what not, no matter how enlightened the guests._ **[sup]**\*[/sup] Jeremy wanted to play that song, and I was all, “OK, sure.” Then I Googled the lyrics. In-ap-propriate! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/22 "2003-09-12T11:01:05Z")
_Another One Bites the Dust_ ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/23 "2003-09-12T11:03:59Z")
“Truck Driver Divorce” by Frank Zappa “51st Anniversary” by Jimi Hendrix anything by Eminem (at least anything that I’ve been forced to hear) What’s that song about marrying an ugly girl? ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/24 "2003-09-12T11:32:58Z")
The version I heard was recorded by the King’s Singers The first verse went something like this: \*If you want to be happy and lead a king life, never make a pretty woman your wife – All you gotta do is just what I say, and you’ll be happy, merry and gay! So from a logical point of view, Marry a woman uglier than you!\* ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/25 "2003-09-12T11:34:15Z")
…and there should be a period somewhere in the previous post… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/26 "2003-09-12T11:49:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bmoak \* > **Brick House by the Commodores** I hear this at weddings all of the time. It’s a great dance song, guaranteed to fill up the floor. In my family, we do lots of dancing. We also bring a couple thousand cookies to every wedding reception. “Brick House” and the “cookie table” should be enough clues for someone to figure out where I grew up. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/27 "2003-09-12T12:29:11Z")
D.I.V.O.R.C.E. made me think of the knockoff from “Starlight Express” U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D. Was I corroded or overloaded? Maybe I shamed him, who could have blamed him If he thought me second class, went in search of chrome and brass (whereupon every immediately substitutes “tits & ass.”). ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/28 "2003-09-12T13:04:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TeaElle \* > _Keep Your Hands to Yourself_ - Some 80s hillbilly rock band \*\* The Georgia Satellites and I believe that was their one and only hit. When I got married a few years ago my wife asked me to compile a list of music I wanted played at the wedding. The first CD I submitted contained the following songs. Evil Woman (ELO?) Don’t Bring me Down (ELO?) 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (Paul Simon) I Hate Myself for Loving You (??) Love Plus One (Haircut 100) There were a few others I can’t remember off the top of my head but she was only partially amused at my little joke. Marc ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/29 "2003-09-12T13:14:02Z")
One that I hear a lot at weddings is _Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered_, the jazz standard. My wife wanted to use it as “our” song until I made her listen to the lyrics. My friends used _Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off_. She is white and he is Indian, so it was pretty cute (and I suppose apropos). Last week my brother went to a wedding of his African American friend to her white fiancee. For the first dance, the DJ announced he was playing the song that the bride’s father used to teach the bride to dance. My brother started laughing uncontrollably when he realized that the song was Procul Harum’s _Whiter Shade of Pale_. I know the lyrics are about sea-sickness, but I mean, come on now… ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/30 "2003-09-12T13:27:27Z")
Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix My Best Friends Girl - The Cars Leave me Alone - Michael Jackson ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/31 "2003-09-12T13:30:42Z")
“Catch 'Em Young, Treat 'Em Rough, and Tell 'Em Nothin” by Hank Penny. How about “The Lady Is a Tramp”? Ooh, ooh, I got it: “Do You Take This Man?” by Diamanda Galas: “Husband, with this knife, I do you adore . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/32 "2003-09-12T13:33:25Z")
If anyone has ever heard the song “The First Time” from the musical “The Beautiful Game,” you know how bad a choice that song would be. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/33 "2003-09-12T13:39:29Z")
and the Magnetic Fields song that contains the lyric: “Give me one more chance; I can’t make you happy, but you’ll never be happy anyway.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/34 "2003-09-12T13:42:59Z")
I’m going through the Big D and don’t mean Dallas I can’t believe what the Judge had to tell us I got the Jeep, she got the palace… I’m going through the Big D and don’t mean Dallas * * * If you change your mind I’m the next in line Baby, I’m still free Take a chance on me ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/35 "2003-09-12T14:28:50Z")
I actually did hear the band play “Please Release Me” at a wedding once. Best theoretical example: The Osborne Brothers “You Ain’t the Kind of Woman I Wanted, But You’re the Kind of Woman I Got” ---
**Author:** ![li\_l\_Dickie\_Dirtz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@li\_l\_Dickie\_Dirtz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/li_l_Dickie_Dirtz)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/36 "2003-09-12T14:42:08Z")
I actually had this one played at a wedding where I was the best man. I’m surprised the couple is still together. _It’s the Little Things (That Piss Me Off)_ by Robert Earl Keen. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/37 "2003-09-12T14:44:45Z")
True story. Mother - Groom dance song, was almost but talked the groom and mom out of it-- Paradise by the Dashboard Light. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/38 "2003-09-12T14:47:04Z")
Actually heard… “Tonight I celebrate my love to you” on a never-ending prewedding loop with “You were always on my mind”. Ick. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/39 "2003-09-12T14:48:36Z")
There’s an indie artist called Lorna Vallings who did a steamy song called “Taste.” (It was in the Pacey movie _The Skulls_). The song itself is not a “happy love song,” it’s not a “romantic” love song, infact it’s _not a love song_! It’s an angst-filled _lust_ song! I read a live journal in which a woman said “my sister is going to sing it at my wedding!” The song is about adultery. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126/40 "2003-09-12T15:05:28Z")
I was in a record store several years ago when I overheard a woman trying to find out the name of a song for the couple’s first dance at her daughter’s wedding. The clerk was coming up empty but I realized she was looking for “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. Definitely _not_ first dance material! But I’d have paid good money to see them dancing to such lyrics as “you’ve got no one to blame for your unhappiness / you got yourself into your own mess” and “don’t you know / things’ll change / things’ll go your way / if you hold on for one more day.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bad-wedding-song-choices/201126.md?page=3)