# Badasses Needed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 4, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756 "2007-04-04T19:50:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/41 "2007-04-05T05:59:47Z")
Mal Reynolds beat The Operative, so he could take out Jack Bauer easily. And for the jillionth time, people, there’s no “u” in “Macgyver.” ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/42 "2007-04-05T08:11:30Z")
Well I’ll have to go in for the brainiac division: Sherlock Holmes – Detective Data – Escape artist Cinnamon Carter – Spy Batman – Muscle (among this crowd…) Captain Nemo (From Nadia) – Leader Frank Pembleton – Interrogation I would have liked more women, but most of the good’uns are in Star Trek (and I haven’t seen Battlestar Galactica, Angel, Buffy, etc. where I suspect that there would be some) or are more muscle than brain (Ifurita, Ryoko, Jubei, Tsukikage Ran, Elle Ragu, etc.), goofy (Washu, Gadget, Radical Edward), or non-uber (Kiyone, Utena, Afura Mann, etc.) Dorothy Wayneright would have been good, but Data is probably more uber. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/43 "2007-04-05T11:41:50Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] **Willow Rosenberg** –_Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. Extremely powerful magic, especially if I could get her at that moment in season six just as her powers were at their peak, but before she went psycho. [/quote] I put Willow on my team, then took her off; I don’t trust her. (Which is not to say I wouldn’t do her.)] ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/44 "2007-04-05T12:40:25Z")
Oops, I missed the “one character per show rule”. OK, I’ll drop Vorenus and Call, and trade them for Andy Sipowizc and Wesley Price (last two seasons of _Angel_ version). Unleash those two psychos and let evil-doers tremble. ---
**Author:** ![xnylder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbce88/32.png) [@xnylder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xnylder)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/45 "2007-04-05T14:45:36Z")
Here’s a list for animated missions: \*\*Snake-Eyes: \*\*Dude, he’s a ninja. And everyone understands what he wants without him saying a word. The ultimate in coolness. **Samurai Jack:** Ultimate grit and determination, with a sword that can open robots like they were tin cans. Oh yeah, and he regularly loses his clothes. (Hey, fan service can be equal opportunity, alright?) \*\*Aeon Flux: \*\*Extremely useful stealth operative and sniper. I’d like assurances that she won’t die until the mission’s over, though. \*\*Optimus Prime: \*\*Because nothing says “we mean business” like a transforming semi-truck. Bonus: Transportation for the rest of the team. \*\*Wolverine: \*\*The “Spiderman and his Amazing Friends” or “X-Men Evolution” version, whichever’s available, bub. Because a knuckle sandwich is always better with claws. \*\*Synergy: \*\*Our computer and disguise specialist. Hey, are we doing this with style or what? ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/46 "2007-04-05T15:12:01Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] No need to assume. He actually does fly planes and helicopters in 24. [/QUOTE] My grammar is atrocious. What I was trying to say was “In light of the fact that Jack can fly a plane, I’m going to assume that Tony could also fly a plane” because I picked Tony over Jack for my team. I don’t think we’ve ever seen Tony fly anything, do you remember if that’s ever happened on the show? ---
**Author:** ![I\_m\_No\_Saint](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@I\_m\_No\_Saint](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_m_No_Saint)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/47 "2007-04-05T15:30:25Z")
As much as I’d love to add Optimus Prime and Snake Eyes to my team, I’ll stick with ‘normal’ humans. **Vic Mackey** -The Shield-He gets the job done, no matter what.-Team Leader **Titus Pullo and Lucious Vorenus** -Rome-excellent call by the person that brought them up first. Lucious will by the second in command and Pullo is crazy guy/muscle. **Any crab boat deckhand** -Deadliest Catch-Dude, have you watched this show? **John Douglas Rhainey** -It Takes a Thieft-the stealth guy **Ernest T. Bass** -The Andy Griffith Show-Unmatched rock-throwing accuracy, street-figther…him and Titus Pullo would be the deadlist two man fighting force since the Road Warriors (or the Legion of Doom to you younglings). And they’d use Air Wolf for transportation. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/48 "2007-04-05T15:42:23Z")
I’m thinking that the badass women would be more badass than the men. Something about sexists in Impossible Mission management positions seems to heighten the badass quality in women more than in men. So here’s my all-female list. **Ellen Ripley** - heavy weapons. **Trinity** - light and medium weapons, computer skills, hand-to-hand. **Susan Ivanova** - fighter pilot, willingness to throw diplomats into the fusion reactor. **Samantha Carter** - experience with a wide variety of environments and societies. **Buffy Sommers** - when guns don’t work, use a stake! **Emma Peel** - covert ops. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/49 "2007-04-05T15:43:35Z")
**Samantha Stephens** (from bewitched [the show, not the movie]) **Jeannie** (from I dream of Jeannie) Anybody else, wouldn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/50 "2007-04-05T16:25:00Z")
**James T. Kirk:** Invincible, charming and smart. **Sherlock Holmes:** Brilliant, witty, extremely observant and perceptive; _baritsu_ martial arts skills. **Data:** Very strong; very tough; encylopedic knowledge. **Aeon Flux:** Beautiful, deadly, highly motivated. **Odo:** Shapeshifter with an attitude. A survivor. **Earl Hickey:** Has bountiful good karma and uncannily good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/51 "2007-04-05T16:53:06Z")
[QUOTE=Rube E. Tewesday] Belker from _Hill Street Blues_ – master of disguise, tough as nails, fanatical, never gives up. Hawk from _Spenser for Hire_ – the coolest and the baddest. [/QUOTE] Ah, the classics. I was gonna post those two! Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Prize](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@Sir\_Prize](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Prize)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/52 "2007-04-05T16:54:59Z")
\*\*Endora \*\* – more powerful than anyone mentioned so far including Willow **Jeannie (the brunette)** – the same \*\*Lurch \*\* – for muscle \*\*Spot \*\* – because fire breathing dragons are cool \*\*The Professor \*\* – because the team needs a genius inventor ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/53 "2007-04-05T19:38:32Z")
**Jack Burton** (from Big T in Little C) to run diversionary tactics… **Face** (from A-Team) to do preliminary recon… **Short Round** (from Temple of Doom) for inspirational adaptability and contingency logistics… **Nikita** (from La Femme Nikita) to open up with the heavy firepower when the inevitable betrayals and traps are sprung. **Nick Rivers** (from Top Secret) for morale and public relations. **Michael Archangel** (from Airwolf) to keep everyone on task and in line. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/54 "2007-04-05T19:39:58Z")
Ill take Boomer from BsG, shes small asian, hot as hell and who would expect so much whoopass in such a little package? Ellen Ripley, the original bas ass chick, she kicked more acid bleeding face eating spiked tail you in the backing brain busting with the crazy extra mouth alien ass than a whole troop of space marines. Dana Scully. good with a gun, cool headed, has been known to kick some serious ass in a fight and can mention how “Hungry” she is while staring into some dead guys guts mid autopsy. 6 of 9, do I really need to coment? Max Guevera, smoking hot, geneticly engineered all around bad ass with some serious military training. Walker and Bauer would both be to busy wondering where all the hot chicks came from to realise death was iminent. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/55 "2007-04-05T19:44:57Z")
Prison Break’s T-Bag–The man is a killing machine. House’s Dr. House–Good thinking abilities and can take care of any medical emergency. Criminal Minds Dr. Spencer Reid–Knows everything. And he is so cute. NCIS’s Ducky Mallard–Another doctor and very smart. The Man from U.N.C.L.E.'s Illya Kurakin–Get the joke? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/56 "2007-04-05T20:09:09Z")
[QUOTE=Critical1] Ellen Ripley, the original bas ass chick, she kicked more acid bleeding face eating spiked tail you in the backing brain busting with the crazy extra mouth alien ass than a whole troop of space marines. [/QUOTE] While this is unquestionably true, and I thought long and hard about including Ripley in my list, there is one problem with her. _Everyone around her dies._ I want to come back alive, too. That’s one reason I picked Carter–even when one of her teammates _does_ die, he comes back…repeatedly, if necessary. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/57 "2007-04-05T20:15:42Z")
[QUOTE=Balance] While this is unquestionably true, and I thought long and hard about including Ripley in my list, there is one problem with her. _Everyone around her dies._ [/QUOTE] She’s also not from a TV show. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/58 "2007-04-05T20:32:56Z")
OK, I’m gonna make a new list: Jack Burton, from Big Trouble in Little China Snake Plissken, from Escape from New York Dexter Riley, from The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes Wyatt Earp, from Tombstone Col. Jonathan “Jack” O’Neil, from Stargate (the movie) Gabriel Cash, from Tango and Cash R.J.MacReady, from The Thing Yep. That’s a bassass team for you. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/59 "2007-04-05T21:05:39Z")
A partial list: Mace Windu (_Clone Wars_): Dude, he’s Samuel L. Jackson, and he has a purple lightsabre. Team leader, and also good with a sword and supernatural support. MacGyver: He can make anything from anything, with nothing but a roll of duct tape and a Swiss army knife. KITT (_Knight Rider_): Who needs Michael? Indestructible (and fast, and stylish) transportation for the others, plus supercomputer-level computational abilities, and the whole scanning and microlocking things. Wolverine (_X-Men_): Indestructible brawler. He’s the best there is at what he does, but what he does isn’t very nice. But I still need someone for social engineering, and a steath/intelligence character. Any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756/60 "2007-04-05T21:11:13Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] A partial list: But I still need someone for social engineering, and a steath/intelligence character. Any suggestions? [/QUOTE] Miles Vorkosigan. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badasses-needed/398756.md?page=4)