# Badger vs. Gorilla: Who Wins? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 26, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816 "2012-03-26T03:12:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/41 "2012-03-28T00:51:43Z")
If it’s an Egyptian Steroidal Whooping Badger … then maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/42 "2012-03-30T16:54:12Z")
Maybe not a badger; but what about a [bodger](http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bodger)? He could turn him into something else. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/43 "2012-03-30T18:12:53Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > No way! Honey badger don’t give a shit. Nothing beats a honey badger. Ever. Also, from watching the honey badger documentary, they are immune to gorilla venom. ---
**Author:** ![Carptracker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac91a4/32.png) [@Carptracker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carptracker)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/44 "2012-03-30T18:48:48Z")
Never seen a honey badger or a gorilla outside of a zoo, but I have considerable experience up close w caged badgers of the north American variety. You are talking about lightening fast, strong as an ox, venomous hatred. Ok, not literally venomous, but I would rather be locked in w a dozen rattlers and cobras than a live, healthy, badger. I think a badger would be like Yoda all over a gorilla before the ape knew there was a fight on. I don’t care how strong you are, there are no handles on a badger. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/45 "2012-03-30T20:19:23Z")
> [@Carptracker](#): > > Never seen a honey badger or a gorilla outside of a zoo, but I have considerable experience up close w caged badgers of the north American variety. You are talking about lightening fast, strong as an ox, venomous hatred. Ok, not literally venomous, but I would rather be locked in w a dozen rattlers and cobras than a live, healthy, badger. I think a badger would be like Yoda all over a gorilla before the ape knew there was a fight on. I don’t care how strong you are, there are no handles on a badger. [This one](http://www.amazon.com/Wisconsin-Badgers-NCAA-Gym-Bag/dp/B000GFOKNW) seems to have two. . . ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/46 "2012-03-30T21:28:09Z")
Yes, the badger (especially the honey badger) is a total badass for its size. The thing is, though, that doesn’t mean that it can defeat any foe in a cage match. What it means is that it can put up a good enough fight that nobody else in the animal world wants to go up against it. Yeah, a gorilla could kill a honey badger, but in real life, it _won’t_, because it knows it’ll get pretty badly injured if it tries, and it’s not worth it. In a cage-match situation, though, where running away isn’t an option, scaring enemies off doesn’t do much good. The gorilla would be forced to fight, the badger would lose, and the gorilla would lose, too, just not quite as badly. ---
**Author:** ![cinsavant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@cinsavant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cinsavant)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/47 "2012-04-04T22:55:17Z")
I personally would like to see a badger/honey badger versus a woverine…or maybe a tasmanian devil versus any of those ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/48 "2012-04-09T19:07:39Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > [spoiler]They’re also badass and don’t give a shit. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg&feature=youtube\_gdata\_player](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg&feature=youtube_gdata_player) > > I wish all nature shows were narrated like this. [/spoiler] Awesome. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816/49 "2012-04-09T19:34:19Z")
For a fictional anecdote, I think it was in the book _Jeremiah Johnson_ where one of the mountain men recounts a fight between a bear and either a badger or a wolverine, caused by the bear sticking it’s snout into the badger burrow. As I recall it, the badger was chewing the bear’s face off, and the bear was howling and growling in pain. Then, the bear remembered it had claws, ripped the badger in half, and ran off. The mountain man checked out the badger, and it had the bear’s nose in it’s teeth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/badger-vs-gorilla-who-wins/616816.md?page=2)