# Bagels are meh... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 5, 2018, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833 "2018-09-05T20:54:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/21 "2018-09-06T02:19:02Z")
I LOVE salt bagels, but watch the bastard when he picks one for you. The last one I bought was completely coated with coarse salt on the bottom, and I had to sliver it off with a bread knife. Even then it was TOO salty, so I only got to consume 60 per cent of my purchase. An everything is a safer choice, but they sometimes don’t include coarse salt with all the seeds and onion bits. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/22 "2018-09-06T02:27:54Z")
I like salt bagels okay, but agree with the OP. Bagels are indeed meh (NYC bagels included). ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/23 "2018-09-06T03:51:00Z")
A nice big toasted plain bagel, or even a raisin bagel, with heaps and heaps of Philadephia cream cheese and a massive glass of orange juice could possibly be my choice for my last meal. Unfortunately, that’s tons of salt, carbs and straight up sugar and I shall never taste such enjoyment again. Once a year maybe I’ll get me a bag of bagels and a tub of cream cheese and have The Best Week Ever, but never again for the OJ ☹ ---
**Author:** ![blob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blob/32/489_2.png) [@blob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blob)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/24 "2018-09-06T05:18:05Z")
I like bagels. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/25 "2018-09-06T05:44:51Z")
I’m surprised nobody has yet mentioned the famous line: “A bagel is a donut that’s been dipped in cement.” This description is both funny and completely accurate. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/26 "2018-09-06T11:22:35Z")
I got off to a very bad start with bagels; we had a family day out when I was a teen, and my Dad did a picnic to bring with us. Unfortunately, he’d never had a bagel and got them (from a UK supermarket, so hardly great ones anyway) thinking they were like big donuts, for a bit of a treat. So the main part of our lunch, after walking several miles, was a plain solid bagel each. Not toasted, nothing on it and nothing we could put on it, not even cut in half. I was really hungry, and there was no other option as we were somewhere in the countryside, so we just ate them as it was. I don’t recommend the experience. I’m not sure I’ve even had one since, it put me off so badly. ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/27 "2018-09-06T12:55:36Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Wegman’s makes decent bagels. I think they bake them right there in the store. I’m not sure if they boil them. Just about every morning I have one toasted with light cream cheese. Yum! The Wegman’s by me boils them, then bakes them, as it should be done. They are pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/28 "2018-09-06T16:52:59Z")
First of all, if you like 'em, that’s perfect and eat them to your hearts content. I’m sure thing I find heavenly are a big fat meh… for others. > [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Toast the separated halves. Slather in butter, sprinkle with garlic powder, add a little cheese and return to the toaster oven until the cheese is melted and browned. I used to sprinkle with salt at this point but sadly, that’s off the menu now. > That’s how I like 'em. That is true, but it’s also true of most decent breads. > [@Telemark](#): > > Quality cream cheese, lox, capers, red onion, and a slice of tomato on an everything or salt bagel - perfection! Yes, NYC bagels are simply better than all the rest, but I’ve had excellent bagels anywhere there is a sizable Jewish population. > > It’s also a cultural thing, the ceremony and social aspect of laying out the spread for guests. The cultural aspect seems very important. It makes regular food something special. > [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Wrong. > > I live in Brooklyn, and even here you run into shit bagels. When out-of-towers come to visit and want a real bagel, I tell them to walk down the block to Seventh Avenue and go one block north for an excellent bagel (Bagel Delight, a chain that provides excellent bagels) or walk fifteen blocks south for THE BEST BAGEL IN NEW YORK CITY (The Bagel Hole, a total dive that makes THE BEST BAGEL IN NEW YORK CITY). > > For total ecstasy, buy some of the bagel shop’s scallion cream cheese or vegetable cream cheese to spread on your delicious, delicious bagel. You can overpay for smoked salmon there, too, or just buy a 4 or 8 oz package from Acme Smokehouse (local) at any Brooklyn grocery store. My problem with this is that if you need to have only the really good ones then it goes on to show they aren’t that great. > [@Flyer](#): > > I’m surprised nobody has yet mentioned the famous line: > “A bagel is a donut that’s been dipped in cement.” > > This description is both funny and completely accurate. I’m gonna steal this line. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/29 "2018-09-06T16:58:35Z")
> [@Flyer](#): > > This description is both funny and completely accurate. Funny, sure. Accurate, only with the worst bagels on the market. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/30 "2018-09-06T17:48:50Z")
I used to like them, but I OD’d on them in the 90s. If I see a poppy seed one in the break room on bagel day, I might cut off a quarter of it and eat the seedy part, but that’s just because I love poppy seeds. Nowadays I’m more into croissants and brioche. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/31 "2018-09-06T18:07:17Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > My problem with this is that if you need to have only the really good ones then it goes on to show they aren’t that great. Well, pretty much every time I eat food, I try to get “the really good ones.” YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/32 "2018-09-06T18:08:02Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > There are two kinds of bagels in the world: Those made in the New York area, and those made everywhere else. Once you have some from the latter, you can appreciate the former. I am from New York, and this is absolutely true. The only bagels outside of New York I can tolerate are the ones from one small, single, unfranchised coffee shop in the Midwest (but the owner is a New Yorker), and the ones my aunt makes. And I can tell you for a fact that there is something going on with New York vs. every place else, because when my aunt made bagels in New York, whether in Manhattan or Brooklyn, they were the best bagels in the entire world, no exceptions. When she makes them in Indiana they are still pretty good, but just not as remarkable. They are probably the best bagels in Indiana, but I can get several from different stores in New York that are better than the ones my aunt makes now. If you get one in New York, get it from a place that sources its bagels locally. If they are baked on the premises, all the better, but if it’s a place that has them delivered fresh every morning from a local bakery, that works too. There are lots of places that have more than one outlet in NYC, but a single bakery, that makes bagels every night, and sells them every morning. What you don’t want to do is buy a bagel in NYC from a place like Panera. They may mix the dough somewhere else, and send to the location from who knows where, or even half-bake the bagels, and send them boiled and frozen, but not baked. That’s how you end up with really terrible NYC bagels. There’s actually a place in Penn Station that sells really great bagels. They’re one of three or four outlets for a local bakery. That is fantastic. They had bagels first thing in the morning, and bread a little later in the day. You could get a bagel on your way to work, and a baguette on your way home. They get Einstein Bros. bagels for us at work every Friday as a perk, and I never eat one. They aren’t very good to me, and I get some from my aunt every few weeks when she makes them. People who have never had a NYC bagel think they’re great, though. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/33 "2018-09-06T18:16:24Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > My problem with this is that if you need to have only the really good ones then it goes on to show they aren’t that great. I wouldn’t say that. Most movies are terrible, and the really bad ones are painful to watch, but that doesn’t make movies as a thing, bad. The good movies that are out there are worth waiting for, and even worth wading through the mediocre ones. In my experience, most OTC meds don’t work for crap, but the ones that do, I couldn’t live without (acetaminophen, I love you!) I certainly would never say that OTC meds as a thing are bad. If you need to have the really good ones, to have a good experience, it just means that someone is trying to ride the coattails of the really good ones with their inferior products. That’s really pretty common. How many mediocre musicians do mediocre covers of great musicians’ songs? ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/34 "2018-09-06T18:21:33Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Well, pretty much every time I eat food, I try to get “the really good ones.” YMMV. Point taken. My point was that if a very popular item is not good until you get to the 95th percentile then it’s not clear why it is so popular, aside, of course, from cultural reasons. [Exaggerating for effect] It’s like someone said “beef is meh…” and my answer was “go to Tokyo and get actual Kobe from a restaurant that has an experienced chef” then beef IS meh.[/Exaggerating for effect] ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/35 "2018-09-06T18:32:54Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > Point taken. > My point was that if a very popular item is not good until you get to the 95th percentile then it’s not clear why it is so popular, aside, of course, from cultural reasons. But 95% of the bagels on the market are mass produced, non-boiled, donuts with seeds. It’s no wonder they’re just “meh”, they’re barely bagels. They are pale imitations of the real thing. Now, while NYC bagels are indeed the best, you can get very good bagels pretty much anywhere there is a good-sized Jewish population. That means any major city in the US has at least some excellent bagels. But you’re not going to find them at the supermarket, even Wegmans (which are just OK, IMO). Find a nice Jewish bakery and you’ll find some good bagels. It would be like comparing macro-brew lagers like Bud, Coors, and Miller with a Heady Topper. Yes, the crap outsell great beer 100 to 1 but it doesn’t mean there isn’t great beer to be found everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/36 "2018-09-06T19:03:06Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > But 95% of the bagels on the market are mass produced, non-boiled, donuts with seeds. It’s no wonder they’re just “meh”, they’re barely bagels. They are pale imitations of the real thing. Now, while NYC bagels are indeed the best, you can get very good bagels pretty much anywhere there is a good-sized Jewish population. That means any major city in the US has at least some excellent bagels. But you’re not going to find them at the supermarket, even Wegmans (which are just OK, IMO). Find a nice Jewish bakery and you’ll find some good bagels. > > It would be like comparing macro-brew lagers like Bud, Coors, and Miller with a Heady Topper. Yes, the crap outsell great beer 100 to 1 but it doesn’t mean there isn’t great beer to be found everywhere. Agreed. There’s a new Kosher restaurant in Lima. I’ll have to go there and check their bagels. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/37 "2018-09-06T19:16:51Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I am from New York, and this is absolutely true. The only bagels outside of New York I can tolerate are the ones from one small, single, unfranchised coffee shop in the Midwest (but the owner is a New Yorker), and the ones my aunt makes. And I can tell you for a fact that there is something going on with New York vs. every place else, because when my aunt made bagels in New York, whether in Manhattan or Brooklyn, they were the best bagels in the entire world, no exceptions. When she makes them in Indiana they are still pretty good, but just not as remarkable. They are probably the best bagels in Indiana, but I can get several from different stores in New York that are better than the ones my aunt makes now. > > If you get one in New York, get it from a place that sources its bagels locally. If they are baked on the premises, all the better, but if it’s a place that has them delivered fresh every morning from a local bakery, that works too. There are lots of places that have more than one outlet in NYC, but a single bakery, that makes bagels every night, and sells them every morning. > > What you don’t want to do is buy a bagel in NYC from a place like Panera. They may mix the dough somewhere else, and send to the location from who knows where, or even half-bake the bagels, and send them boiled and frozen, but not baked. That’s how you end up with really terrible NYC bagels. > > There’s actually a place in Penn Station that sells really great bagels. They’re one of three or four outlets for a local bakery. That is fantastic. They had bagels first thing in the morning, and bread a little later in the day. You could get a bagel on your way to work, and a baguette on your way home. > > They get Einstein Bros. bagels for us at work every Friday as a perk, and I never eat one. They aren’t very good to me, and I get some from my aunt every few weeks when she makes them. People who have never had a NYC bagel think they’re great, though. Isn’t the reason New York’s bagels are reputedly better than everywhere else because of the water? Same as the pizza, no? Anyway, the less bagels [Aji de Gallina\*\* eats, the more for the rest of us (but I get all the pumpernickels) ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/38 "2018-09-06T19:55:46Z")
There’s a place here in L.A. now called the Brooklyn Water Bagel Company (or something like that). They claim to import their _water_ for making their bagels. I’ll admit they’re pretty good. They make them on the premises and are only open until 3:00 pm. I usually call ahead if I want a particular type (poppy seed’s my fav), because they sell out fast. Once I went without calling first, and someone came to pick up their order for a movie location. They carried out bags and bags. The bins were nearly all empty. ☹ The also make nice bagel “sandwiches.” I love their lox and cream cheese one (generous with the lox!) except that capers are extra and used to cost too much. I just went to check what the exact price was and – hallelujah! – they’re lowered the caper price to $.39. Mmmm, maybe I should go pick one up for lunch? ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/39 "2018-09-06T21:22:20Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > My point was that if a very popular item is not good until you get to the 95th percentile then it’s not clear why it is so popular, aside, of course, from cultural reasons. I might argue that bagels actually AREN’T that popular except in the places where it is good. (From 2005, but I think instructive) > **[POLL: What Americans Eat for Breakfast](https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/PollVault/story?id=762685)** > [@](#): > > There are regional differences: Cold cereal is most popular in the Northeast (39 percent) and least popular in the South (25 percent); indeed more Southerners usually eat eggs, bacon and eggs, or ham and eggs (30 percent) than usually eat cold cereal. **Also, 11 percent of Northeasterners eat bagels, more than anywhere else.** ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833/40 "2018-09-06T21:51:18Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > A good bagel is boiled. That’s what gives it the crunchy crust. It’s not just that. Malt syrup in the boiling water produces a shiny, brown, slightly crunchy crust. Another thing about bagels is that they must be fresh to be any good. They go stale faster than any other type of bread. A day-old Kaiser roll is fine, but a day-old bagel is like a lump of lead. A two-day-old bagel is like a brick. This is probably why many store-bought bagels are so unbagely; the manufacturers add things like fats to keep them from going stale as quickly, which also keeps them from being real bagels. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bagels-are-meh/820833.md?page=3)