# Baker's Dozen II (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [January 25, 2020, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938 "2020-01-25T03:38:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 413
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8244 "2022-01-12T21:04:00Z")
**More punchlines** 1. “So he said, ‘Eh, fuck him. Give him a dollar.’” 2. Oh my God! A talking muffin! 3. “Mooooo!” 4. You ARE on the other side! 5. “It’s the chicken.” 6. “What’s that sound?” 7. “So what are you in here for?” 8. Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise. 9. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8245 "2022-01-12T21:11:38Z")
**More punchlines** 1. “So he said, ‘Eh, fuck him. Give him a dollar.’” 2. Oh my God! A talking muffin! 3. “Mooooo!” 4. You ARE on the other side! 5. “It’s the chicken.” 6. “What’s that sound?” 7. “So what are you in here for?” 8. Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise. 9. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” 10. “Just don’t step in the oom-galla-walla.” _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8246 "2022-01-12T21:43:58Z")
**More punchlines** 1. “So he said, ‘Eh, fuck him. Give him a dollar.’” 2. Oh my God! A talking muffin! 3. “Mooooo!” 4. You ARE on the other side! 5. “It’s the chicken.” 6. “What’s that sound?” 7. “So what are you in here for?” 8. Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise. 9. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” 10. “Just don’t step in the oom-galla-walla.” 11. “Ooo, you’re not gonna like Tuesdays.” ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8247 "2022-01-12T21:45:59Z")
**More punchlines** 1. “So he said, ‘Eh, fuck him. Give him a dollar.’” 2. Oh my God! A talking muffin! 3. “Mooooo!” 4. You ARE on the other side! 5. “It’s the chicken.” 6. “What’s that sound?” 7. “So what are you in here for?” 8. Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise. 9. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” 10. “Just don’t step in the oom-galla-walla.” 11. “Ooo, you’re not gonna like Tuesdays.” 12. “Coffee break’s over – back on your heads!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8248 "2022-01-12T21:47:15Z")
**More punchlines** 1. “So he said, ‘Eh, fuck him. Give him a dollar.’” 2. Oh my God! A talking muffin! 3. “Mooooo!” 4. You ARE on the other side! 5. “It’s the chicken.” 6. “What’s that sound?” 7. “So what are you in here for?” 8. Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise. 9. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” 10. “Just don’t step in the oom-galla-walla.” 11. “Ooo, you’re not gonna like Tuesdays.” 12. “Coffee break’s over – back on your heads!” 13. “Same diagnosis, better healthplan.” **Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8249 "2022-01-12T21:49:07Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8250 "2022-01-12T22:00:20Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8251 "2022-01-12T22:01:17Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8252 "2022-01-12T22:13:56Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within. ---
**Author:** ![Skunkdog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@Skunkdog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skunkdog)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8253 "2022-01-12T22:23:55Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2022, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8254 "2022-01-12T23:35:45Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? 7. The Aristocrats! ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8255 "2022-01-13T00:08:29Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? 7. The Aristocrats! 8. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you came here.” _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8256 "2022-01-13T00:12:47Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? 7. The Aristocrats! 8. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you came here.” 9. “You’re not coming here for the hunting, are you?” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8257 "2022-01-13T00:16:57Z")
[quote=“dirtball, post:8256, topic:846938, full:true”] **Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? 7. The Aristocrats! 8. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you came here.” 9. “You’re not coming here for the hunting, are you?” 10. “Well, there’s your problem. You’re two tents.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8258 "2022-01-13T12:34:10Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? 7. The Aristocrats! 8. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you came here.” 9. “You’re not coming here for the hunting, are you?” 10. “Well, there’s your problem. You’re two tents.” 11. “No, Watson, you fool! It means our tent’s been stolen!” ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8259 "2022-01-13T13:08:30Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? 7. The Aristocrats! 8. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you came here.” 9. “You’re not coming here for the hunting, are you?” 10. “Well, there’s your problem. You’re two tents.” 11. “No, Watson, you fool! It means our tent’s been stolen!” 12. “I left my harp in Sam Clam’s disco.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8260 "2022-01-13T14:52:30Z")
**Even more freakin’ punchlines!** 1. “You gonna talk, or you gonna fish?” 2. The Alabama bus driver saw “Auburn LEFT” sign – then turned the bus around and went home. 3. “I’ll have you know my _grandfather_ donated that light bulb!” 4. Only one, but the lightbulb has to _want_ to change. 5. Change comes from within 6. Here’s my rectal thermometer. Now, what did I do with my pen? 7. The Aristocrats! 8. “You’ve done nothing but complain since you came here.” 9. “You’re not coming here for the hunting, are you?” 10. “Well, there’s your problem. You’re two tents.” 11. “No, Watson, you fool! It means our tent’s been stolen!” 12. “I left my harp in Sam Clam’s disco.” 13. “Don’t matter none. Just gonna be the two of us, anyway.” Pass. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8261 "2022-01-13T16:55:39Z")
**Authors You Could Never Get Into** 1. Ernest Hemingway ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8262 "2022-01-13T18:11:52Z")
**Authors You Could Never Get Into** 1. Ernest Hemingway 2. Hilary Mantel I started 2 of her bestsellers, _Wolf Hall_ and _The Other Boleyn Girl_ but never got beyond the 1st chapter. In spite of my being a historical fiction fan too. ---
**Author:** ![Bayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bayaker/32/3454_2.png) [@Bayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938/8263 "2022-01-13T18:32:49Z")
**Authors You Could Never Get Into** 1. Ernest Hemingway 2. Hilary Mantel 3. William Faulkner Except that some of his short stories were pretty good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938.md?page=412) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen-ii-part-1/846938.md?page=414)