# Bakers Dozen

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173>\
**Category:** Thread Games\
**Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1339

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26764 "2014-06-20T12:33:31Z")

</div>

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

1. “You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
2. “i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
3. “Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
4. “She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
5. “You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
6. “I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
7. “Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26765 "2014-06-20T14:21:43Z")

</div>

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

1. “You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
2. “i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
3. “Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
4. “She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
5. “You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
6. “I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
7. “Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
8. “Fill 'er up!”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26766 "2014-06-20T14:37:39Z")

</div>

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

1. “You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
2. “i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
3. “Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
4. “She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
5. “You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
6. “I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
7. “Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
8. “Fill 'er up!”
9. “She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26767 "2014-06-20T14:47:15Z")

</div>

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

1. “You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
2. “i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
3. “Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
4. “She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
5. “You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
6. “I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
7. “Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
8. “Fill 'er up!”
9. “She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”
10. “My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26768 "2014-06-20T15:04:31Z")

</div>

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

1. “You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
2. “i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
3. “Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
4. “She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
5. “You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
6. “I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
7. “Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
8. “Fill 'er up!”
9. “She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”
10. “My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"
11. “The last guy who had her really rode her hard.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26769 "2014-06-20T15:37:47Z")

</div>

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

1. “You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
2. “i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
3. “Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
4. “She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
5. “You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
6. “I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
7. “Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
8. “Fill 'er up!”
9. “She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”
10. “My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"
11. “The last guy who had her really rode her hard.”
12. “Next time I’m gonna check Consumer Reports more carefully.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26770 "2014-06-20T15:57:59Z")

</div>

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

1. “You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”

2. “i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”

3. “Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”

4. “She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”

5. “You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”

6. “I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”

7. “Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”

8. “Fill 'er up!”

9. “She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”

10. “My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"

11. “The last guy who had her really rode her hard.”

12. “Next time I’m gonna check Consumer Reports more carefully.”

13. “She used to be perfect, but ever since we had our kids, I’ve been finding she just doesn’t meet my needs any more.”  
New topic: A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

14. Ray Romano

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26771 "2014-06-20T16:45:59Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26772 "2014-06-20T16:52:21Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26773 "2014-06-20T17:06:11Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26774 "2014-06-20T17:22:03Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26775 "2014-06-20T17:33:55Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26776 "2014-06-20T18:20:28Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan  
(one of my favorites, oh yes)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26777 "2014-06-20T18:54:37Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan
8. Jeff Foxworthy

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26778 "2014-06-20T18:55:03Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan
8. Bob Newhart

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26779 "2014-06-20T19:11:32Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan
8. Bob Newhart
9. Margaret Cho

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26780 "2014-06-20T19:12:16Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan
8. Bob Newhart
9. Robin Williams

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26781 "2014-06-20T19:23:28Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan
8. Bob Newhart
9. Margaret Cho
10. Robin Williams
11. Billy Connolly

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26782 "2014-06-20T21:41:03Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan
8. Bob Newhart
9. Margaret Cho
10. Robin Williams
11. Billy Connolly
12. Ralphie May

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/26783 "2014-06-20T21:54:12Z")

</div>

A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black

1. Ray Romano
2. George Carlin
3. Jim Gaffigan
4. Bob Hope
5. Steve Martin
6. Carlos Mencia
7. Brian Regan
8. Bob Newhart
9. Margaret Cho
10. Robin Williams
11. Billy Connolly
12. Ralphie May
13. Ellen DeGeneres

I’ll pass

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