# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 139
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2761 "2010-12-16T01:33:29Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2762 "2010-12-16T01:42:08Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2763 "2010-12-16T02:25:10Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2764 "2010-12-16T02:43:24Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2765 "2010-12-16T05:00:14Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window 7. Spray your house with Elf Off ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2766 "2010-12-16T13:10:01Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window 7. Spray your house with Elf Off 8. Declare a jihad! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2767 "2010-12-16T15:35:58Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window 7. Spray your house with Elf Off 8. Declare a jihad! 9. Ask him if he’s heard the good news about Jehovah {Witnesses are dead set against holidays) ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2768 "2010-12-16T15:37:22Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window 7. Spray your house with Elf Off 8. Declare a jihad! 9. Ask him if he’s heard the good news about Jehovah {Witnesses are dead set against holidays} 10. Speaker on the roof continually playing the Chipmunks Christmas song. (Also a good way to make anyone else avoid your house). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2769 "2010-12-16T15:42:11Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window 7. Spray your house with Elf Off 8. Declare a jihad! 9. Ask him if he’s heard the good news about Jehovah {Witnesses are dead set against holidays} 10. Speaker on the roof continually playing the Chipmunks Christmas song. (Also a good way to make anyone else avoid your house). 11. Ditto Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2770 "2010-12-16T15:53:32Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window 7. Spray your house with Elf Off 8. Declare a jihad! 9. Ask him if he’s heard the good news about Jehovah {Witnesses are dead set against holidays} 10. Speaker on the roof continually playing the Chipmunks Christmas song. (Also a good way to make anyone else avoid your house). 11. Ditto Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song. 12. Lace the xmas cookies with ex-lax ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2771 "2010-12-16T16:00:10Z")
Ways to make Santa avoid your house 1. Missile battery on the roof 2. Reindeer repellant 3. Restraining order 4. Beartrap at the bottom of the chimney 5. Be very very naughty 6. A menorah in every window 7. Spray your house with Elf Off 8. Declare a jihad! 9. Ask him if he’s heard the good news about Jehovah {Witnesses are dead set against holidays} 10. Speaker on the roof continually playing the Chipmunks Christmas song. (Also a good way to make anyone else avoid your house). 11. Ditto Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song. 12. Lace the xmas cookies with ex-lax 13. Put a female reindeer in heat on your neighbor’s roof. Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2772 "2010-12-16T16:29:00Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food - from my 3 kids BTW Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2773 "2010-12-16T18:26:32Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2774 "2010-12-16T18:28:52Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. 4. Rooftop Landing strip ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2775 "2010-12-16T18:34:10Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. 4. Rooftop Landing strip 5. Paint your house number clearly on your chimney. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2776 "2010-12-16T18:36:50Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. 4. Rooftop Landing strip 5. Paint your house number clearly on your chimney. 6. All you heathens: START BELIEVING IN OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2777 "2010-12-16T18:41:45Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. 4. Rooftop Landing strip 5. Paint your house number clearly on your chimney. 6. All you heathens: START BELIEVING IN OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!! 7. Slip Mrs. Claus a twenty ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2778 "2010-12-16T18:43:10Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. 4. Rooftop Landing strip 5. Paint your house number clearly on your chimney. 6. All you heathens: START BELIEVING IN OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!! 7. Slip Mrs. Claus a twenty 8. Beer!!! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2779 "2010-12-16T19:15:37Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. 4. Rooftop Landing strip 5. Paint your house number clearly on your chimney. 6. All you heathens: START BELIEVING IN OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!! 7. Slip Mrs. Claus a twenty 8. Beer!!! 9. Four little words: Supermodels in red velvet ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/2780 "2010-12-16T19:58:21Z")
Ways to make extra sure Santa will come to your house: 1. Be very very naughty in the way that Santa most likes it. 2. Put out milk, cookies, and magic reindeer food 3. Hire a chimney sweep. 4. Rooftop Landing strip 5. Paint your house number clearly on your chimney. 6. All you heathens: START BELIEVING IN OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!! 7. Slip Mrs. Claus a twenty 8. Beer!!! 9. Four little words: Supermodels in red velvet 10. Suggest Santa wouldn’t want those photos of last year’s visit to that sorority house getting back to Mrs Claus [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=138) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=140)