# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1576
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31504 "2014-11-27T05:47:50Z")
Don’t let my sister read that. She becomes Goddess-Empress Bitch of the Universe when she hosts Thanksgiving feasts. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31505 "2014-11-27T13:36:13Z")
Ways You’d Improve Thanksgiving Celebrations 1. Macy Should Have Balloons of Celebrities Who Died that Year 2. Go and visit a country where it’s not a holiday. Like Canada or Mexico. 3. serve more wine 4. After dinner board games or parlor games 5. Make deep-frying the turkey the only cooking method allowed by law 6. More eels, seal, and cod 7. Mandatory hat buckles 8. Outlaw turducken 9. Mandatory contribution to local food bank of 1/5 of what you spent on your vittles 10. The host/hostess is the recognized ruler of all. If the threshold is crossed, every command must be obeyed, starting with the unspoken-but-universally-understood “Shut up, (relative), and don’t be an ass.” 11. Dinner shall be served so as not to be in conflict with Cowboys game! Please schedule meal to either conclude before kick-off (4:30pm) or to be ready immediately after game (unknown time). Failure to do so will result in all requests to come to the table to be unheard, no matter how many times you yell from the another room. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31506 "2014-11-27T14:59:28Z")
Ways You’d Improve Thanksgiving Celebrations 1. Macy Should Have Balloons of Celebrities Who Died that Year 2. Go and visit a country where it’s not a holiday. Like Canada or Mexico. 3. serve more wine 4. After dinner board games or parlor games 5. Make deep-frying the turkey the only cooking method allowed by law 6. More eels, seal, and cod 7. Mandatory hat buckles 8. Outlaw turducken 9. Mandatory contribution to local food bank of 1/5 of what you spent on your vittles 10. The host/hostess is the recognized ruler of all. If the threshold is crossed, every command must be obeyed, starting with the unspoken-but-universally-understood “Shut up, (relative), and don’t be an ass.” 11. Dinner shall be served so as not to be in conflict with Cowboys game! Please schedule meal to either conclude before kick-off (4:30pm) or to be ready immediately after game (unknown time). Failure to do so will result in all requests to come to the table to be unheard, no matter how many times you yell from the another room. 12. Rename the holiday: “The Straight Dope presents… Thanksgiving!” ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31507 "2014-11-27T15:36:54Z")
Ways You’d Improve Thanksgiving Celebrations 1. Macy Should Have Balloons of Celebrities Who Died that Year 2. Go and visit a country where it’s not a holiday. Like Canada or Mexico. 3. serve more wine 4. After dinner board games or parlor games 5. Make deep-frying the turkey the only cooking method allowed by law 6. More eels, seal, and cod 7. Mandatory hat buckles 8. Outlaw turducken 9. Mandatory contribution to local food bank of 1/5 of what you spent on your vittles 10. The host/hostess is the recognized ruler of all. If the threshold is crossed, every command must be obeyed, starting with the unspoken-but-universally-understood “Shut up, (relative), and don’t be an ass.” 11. Dinner shall be served so as not to be in conflict with Cowboys game! Please schedule meal to either conclude before kick-off (4:30pm) or to be ready immediately after game (unknown time). Failure to do so will result in all requests to come to the table to be unheard, no matter how many times you yell from the another room. 12. Rename the holiday: “The Straight Dope presents… Thanksgiving!” 13. Anyone who doesn’t help clean up after the big meal must play “Alice’s Restaurant” on the kazoo. New: Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel \*\*Escape to Witch Mountain. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31508 "2014-11-27T15:40:40Z")
New: Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31509 "2014-11-27T15:48:12Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31510 "2014-11-27T15:50:23Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31511 "2014-11-27T16:15:14Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from _The Exorcist_ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31512 "2014-11-27T16:25:56Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on _Dark Shadows_ TV series ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31513 "2014-11-27T16:31:28Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on _Dark Shadows_ TV series 7. Father Ted Crilly, _Father Ted_ ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31514 "2014-11-27T17:07:30Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on _Dark Shadows_ TV series 7. Father Ted Crilly, _Father Ted_ 8. Lt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy, _M_A_S_H\* ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31515 "2014-11-27T17:10:15Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on Dark Shadows TV series 7. Father Ted Crilly, Father Ted 8. Lt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy, M_A_S\*H 9. Father Donald Callahan, from Stephen King’s _Salem’s Lot_ (and later, _The Dark Tower_) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31516 "2014-11-27T17:18:27Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on Dark Shadows TV series 7. Father Ted Crilly, Father Ted 8. Lt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy, M_A_S\*H 9. Father Donald Callahan, from Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot (and later, The Dark Tower) 10. Sister Bertrille, the Flying Nun ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31517 "2014-11-27T17:25:09Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on Dark Shadows TV series 7. Father Ted Crilly, Father Ted 8. Lt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy, M_A_S\*H 9. Father Donald Callahan, from Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot (and later, The Dark Tower) 10. Sister Bertrille, the Flying Nun 11. Father Guido Sarducci, Royal Canadian Air Farce radio show, as the gossip columnist in the Vatican Observer ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31518 "2014-11-27T17:58:35Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on Dark Shadows TV series 7. Father Ted Crilly, Father Ted 8. Lt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy, M_A_S\*H 9. Father Donald Callahan, from Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot (and later, The Dark Tower) 10. Sister Bertrille, the Flying Nun 11. Father Guido Sarducci, Royal Canadian Air Farce radio show, as the gossip columnist in the Vatican Observer 12. Brother Cadfael, Crime solving monk (And Doper, who knew?) by Edith Pargeter ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31519 "2014-11-27T18:52:51Z")
Fictional Clergy 1. Father O’Day, in Alexander Key’s novel Escape to Witch Mountain. 2. Father Brown, from G. K. Chesterton’s series of short stories. 3. Rabbi David Small from Harry Kemelman’s mystery novels 4. Father Dowling from Ralph McInerny’s mystery series and the TV show starring Tom Bosley 5. Father Damien Karras, from The Exorcist 6. Rev. Trask, evildoer on Dark Shadows TV series 7. Father Ted Crilly, Father Ted 8. Lt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy, M_A_S\*H 9. Father Donald Callahan, from Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot (and later, The Dark Tower) 10. Sister Bertrille, the Flying Nun 11. Father Guido Sarducci, Royal Canadian Air Farce radio show, as the gossip columnist in the Vatican Observer 12. Brother Cadfael, Crime solving monk (And Doper, who knew?) by Edith Pargeter 13. Father Gabriel, THE WALKING DEAD A pair of things you’re legitimately thankful for this Thanksgiving 1. My Good close friends and my bad little dog ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31520 "2014-11-27T19:34:37Z")
A pair of things you’re legitimately thankful for this Thanksgiving 1. My good close friends and my bad little dog 2. My wife and sons, and Silver Palate mashed potatoes > **[Silver Palate mashed potatoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=672924)** > > Not health food by any means, but sheer awesomely rich starchy goodness: These mashed potatoes can be made ahead and reheated. Feel free to substitute lower-fat dairy products. Makes 6-8 servings. 9 large baking potatoes, peeled and diced 1⁄2 cup... ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31521 "2014-11-27T20:37:05Z")
A pair of things you’re legitimately thankful for this Thanksgiving 1. My good close friends and my bad little dog 2. My wife and sons, and Silver Palate mashed potatoes 3. My wife, and the MST3K Turkey Day Marathon ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31522 "2014-11-27T21:03:26Z")
A pair of things you’re legitimately thankful for this Thanksgiving 1. My good close friends and my bad little dog 2. My wife and sons, and Silver Palate mashed potatoes 3. My wife, and the MST3K Turkey Day Marathon 4. My spouse and my cats. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/31523 "2014-11-27T21:12:24Z")
A pair of things you’re legitimately thankful for this Thanksgiving 1. My good close friends and my bad little dog 2. My wife and sons, and Silver Palate mashed potatoes 3. My wife, and the MST3K Turkey Day Marathon 4. My spouse and my cats. 5. My cat and the fact that for some bizarre reason, Unity3D Web Player is working today when it’s been doing nothing but crashing since I upgraded to Yosemite. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1575) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1577)