# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1636
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32704 "2015-01-30T20:10:16Z")
Things You Never Want Your Doctor to Say 1. “Oopsie!” 2. “Ha! Chart’s upside-down!” 3. “Huh. Colonoscope’s stuck again. Third time this week! Don’t worry; I’ll have it loose in an hour or two.” 4. “Hmm…never seen this before…” 5. “Oh, shit. Uh, just wait here a bit…” 6. “Oh, THIS will get me published!” 7. “Why don’t my rich patients ever get this?” 8. “I graduated in the top 2/3 of my class from the second best online medical school in Bolivia.” 9. “Just out of curiosity, you HAVE signed up to be an organ donor, right?” 10. Oh, that’s interesting… 11. “I’m sorry, what’d you say? I wasn’t listening, I’m going through a really messy divorce, IRS is auditing me, being sued for sexual harassment by one former nurse and for malpractice by a former patient, I am really wanting to drink again… oh well, enough of my problems, let’s cut you open.” 12. “You’re in good shape for a seventy year old…oh, you’re only forty.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32705 "2015-01-30T20:11:42Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > Apparently, neither has **LittleNemo** Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32706 "2015-01-30T20:30:08Z")
Things You Never Want Your Doctor to Say 1. “Oopsie!” 2. “Ha! Chart’s upside-down!” 3. “Huh. Colonoscope’s stuck again. Third time this week! Don’t worry; I’ll have it loose in an hour or two.” 4. “Hmm…never seen this before…” 5. “Oh, shit. Uh, just wait here a bit…” 6. “Oh, THIS will get me published!” 7. “Why don’t my rich patients ever get this?” 8. “I graduated in the top 2/3 of my class from the second best online medical school in Bolivia.” 9. “Just out of curiosity, you HAVE signed up to be an organ donor, right?” 10. Oh, that’s interesting… 11. “I’m sorry, what’d you say? I wasn’t listening, I’m going through a really messy divorce, IRS is auditing me, being sued for sexual harassment by one former nurse and for malpractice by a former patient, I am really wanting to drink again… oh well, enough of my problems, let’s cut you open.” 12. “You’re in good shape for a seventy year old…oh, you’re only forty.” 13. “Turn your head, cough, and tell me you love me.” Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32707 "2015-01-30T20:57:19Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32708 "2015-01-30T21:25:19Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32709 "2015-01-30T21:30:56Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32710 "2015-01-30T21:32:38Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32711 "2015-01-30T21:43:48Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32712 "2015-01-30T21:48:52Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover 7. Woody Allen ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32713 "2015-01-30T21:55:30Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover 7. Woody Allen 8. Lindsay Lohan ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32714 "2015-01-30T22:06:08Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover 7. Woody Allen 8. Lindsay Lohan 9. Warwick Davis ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32715 "2015-01-30T22:45:57Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover 7. Woody Allen 8. Lindsay Lohan 9. Warwick Davis 10. Richard Simmons ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32716 "2015-01-30T22:56:46Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover 7. Woody Allen 8. Lindsay Lohan 9. Warwick Davis 10. Richard Simmons 11. Ron Jeremy ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32717 "2015-01-30T23:00:56Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover 7. Woody Allen 8. Lindsay Lohan 9. Warwick Davis 10. Richard Simmons 11. Ron Jeremy 12. Steve Buscemi ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32718 "2015-01-30T23:05:48Z")
Steve Buscemi is #2 _and_ #12 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32719 "2015-01-30T23:12:44Z")
Actors you think would be miscast as God 1. Don Knotts 2. Steve Buscemi 3. Dom DeLuise 4. Hervé Villechaize 5. Chuck Norris 6. Crispin Glover 7. Woody Allen 8. Lindsay Lohan 9. Warwick Davis 10. Richard Simmons 11. Ron Jeremy 12. Steve Buscemi 13. Hugh Grant Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date 1. I’m falling in like with you. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32720 "2015-01-30T23:20:56Z")
Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date 1. I’m falling in like with you. 2. I’m getting married next month. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32721 "2015-01-31T15:39:58Z")
Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date 1. I’m falling in like with you. 2. I’m getting married next month. 3. Wait, that was today? (_That_ being our date, so technically he said it before the date.) ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32722 "2015-01-31T15:51:29Z")
Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date 1. I’m falling in like with you. 2. I’m getting married next month. 3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.) 4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass! Said to me after a Jethro Tull concert. Naturally, I broke up with her. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32723 "2015-01-31T16:22:56Z")
Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date 1. I’m falling in like with you. 2. I’m getting married next month. 3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.) 4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass! 5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month. eta - which was fine with me because I wasn’t looking for more, and we’re actually still friends, oddly enough. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1635) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1637)