# Bakers Dozen

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173>\
**Category:** Thread Games\
**Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1637

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32724 "2015-01-31T19:29:19Z")

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> [@Infovore](#):
>
> Steve Buscemi is #2 _and_ #12 🙂

:smack: Sorry. And I really looked before I posted #12!

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.

And I had. Another :smack:

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32725 "2015-01-31T22:17:33Z")

</div>

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.
7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.  
I don’t THINK she actually believed I was gay… but that this remark proved she regarded me as a harmless, “safe” pal, like one of her gay male friends.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32726 "2015-02-01T00:46:30Z")

</div>

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.
7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.

Nothing wrong with being a doting grandfather, openly gay or otherwise, but I was 39 at the time and was set up with a guy our mutual friend had described as “Divorced and I’m not really sure of his age but he’s probably a few years older than you are”. (Very nice guy, but I wasn’t interested in being a grandfather before I have kids.)

---

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**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32727 "2015-02-02T16:25:57Z")

</div>

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.
7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”

Blind date while in I was in University, she was not.

Of course, my friends thought this was hilarious because I was the farthest thing from “artsy”.  
Back then, I was a party animal, I drank and smoked, worked security at the campus pub, and played guitar in a couple bands rock bands.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32728 "2015-02-02T18:02:59Z")

</div>

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.
7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
10. “You’re too controlling.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32729 "2015-02-02T18:22:38Z")

</div>

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.
7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
10. “You’re too controlling.”
11. “You look kind of like Russell Crowe but fatter.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32730 "2015-02-02T20:22:34Z")

</div>

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.
7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
10. “You’re too controlling.”
11. “You look kind of like Russell Crowe but fatter.”
12. “My mother said it looked like you were casing our house.” (I was in the house for a few minutes, meeting her mother as [del]requested[/del] demanded, and had been admiring the furniture and decor)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32731 "2015-02-02T20:47:18Z")

</div>

Worst (real) things you’ve been told on a date

1. I’m falling in like with you.
2. I’m getting married next month.
3. Wait, that was today? (That being our date, so technically he said it before the date.)
4. If he plays that flute one more time, I’m gonna shove it up his ass!
5. (the next morning) I should tell you, I’m involved with someone and will probably get engaged next month.
6. You already asked me that.
7. You’re so funny! You should meet my gay friend “Joe.” You two would love each other.
8. My granddaughter turns 16 next year so I’m going to help her buy a car.
9. “Sorry, but you’re a little too artsy for me”
10. “You’re too controlling.”
11. “You look kind of like Russell Crowe but fatter.”
12. “My mother said it looked like you were casing our house.” (I was in the house for a few minutes, meeting her mother as requested demanded, and had been admiring the furniture and decor)
13. “I didn’t get ANY sleep last night.”

New: Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32732 "2015-02-02T20:54:12Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32733 "2015-02-02T21:08:51Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32734 "2015-02-02T21:11:51Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32735 "2015-02-02T21:19:01Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32736 "2015-02-02T21:32:21Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32737 "2015-02-02T21:43:16Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
7. Izzy the Tranny

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32738 "2015-02-02T21:46:04Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
7. Izzy the Tranny
8. Bob

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32739 "2015-02-02T21:57:27Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
7. Izzy the Tranny
8. Bob
9. Vito the Shih Tzu

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32740 "2015-02-02T22:22:01Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
7. Izzy the Tranny
8. Bob
9. Vito the Shih Tzu
10. Frankie the Interior Decorator

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32741 "2015-02-02T23:15:10Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
7. Izzy the Tranny
8. Bob
9. Vito the Shih Tzu
10. Frankie the Interior Decorator
11. Tony Farts

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\
**Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32742 "2015-02-03T01:15:53Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
7. Izzy the Tranny
8. Bob
9. Vito the Shih Tzu
10. Frankie the Interior Decorator
11. Tony Farts
12. Timid Leo

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/32743 "2015-02-03T01:19:46Z")

</div>

Lousy Mob Nicknames

1. Vinny the Florist
2. Guido the Good
3. Aldo the Altruist
4. Bernie the Pom Pom
5. Joey the Squirrel
6. Paulie Macadamia Nuts
7. Izzy the Tranny
8. Bob
9. Vito the Shih Tzu
10. Frankie the Interior Decorator
11. Tony Farts
12. Timid Leo
13. Freddy the FBI Informant

Next category:

Things that didn’t happen at the Super Bowl, after all

1. Jesus returning

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