# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1766
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35304 "2015-06-16T13:24:47Z")
Things you can’t do with your pet goldfish 1. Take it for a walk 2. Eat sushi together 3. Teach it to speak Klingon 4. Play “Go Fish” 5. Host a dinner party 6. Go to the target range and put a few rounds into paper. The recoil would hurt the poor little guy. 7. Play Twister together 8. Take him for a motorcycle ride ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35305 "2015-06-16T13:44:11Z")
Things you can’t do with your pet goldfish 1. Take it for a walk 2. Eat sushi together 3. Teach it to speak Klingon 4. Play “Go Fish” 5. Host a dinner party 6. Go to the target range and put a few rounds into paper. The recoil would hurt the poor little guy. 7. Play Twister together 8. Take him for a motorcycle ride 9. Box ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35306 "2015-06-16T13:44:45Z")
Things you can’t do with your pet goldfish 1. Take it for a walk 2. Eat sushi together 3. Teach it to speak Klingon 4. Play “Go Fish” 5. Host a dinner party 6. Go to the target range and put a few rounds into paper. The recoil would hurt the poor little guy. 7. Play Twister together 8. Take him for a motorcycle ride 9. Box 10. Have it guard your home while you’re out. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35307 "2015-06-16T14:00:51Z")
Things you can’t do with your pet goldfish 1. Take it for a walk 2. Eat sushi together 3. Teach it to speak Klingon 4. Play “Go Fish” 5. Host a dinner party 6. Go to the target range and put a few rounds into paper. The recoil would hurt the poor little guy. 7. Play Twister together 8. Take him for a motorcycle ride 9. Box 10. Have it guard your home while you’re out. 11. Oral sex :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35308 "2015-06-16T14:15:17Z")
Things you can’t do with your pet goldfish 1. Take it for a walk 2. Eat sushi together 3. Teach it to speak Klingon 4. Play “Go Fish” 5. Host a dinner party 6. Go to the target range and put a few rounds into paper. The recoil would hurt the poor little guy. 7. Play Twister together 8. Take him for a motorcycle ride 9. Box 10. Have it guard your home while you’re out. 11. Oral sex 12. Discuss the Game of Thrones finale ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35309 "2015-06-16T14:17:27Z")
Things you can’t do with your pet goldfish 1. Take it for a walk 2. Eat sushi together 3. Teach it to speak Klingon 4. Play “Go Fish” 5. Host a dinner party 6. Go to the target range and put a few rounds into paper. The recoil would hurt the poor little guy. 7. Play Twister together 8. Take him for a motorcycle ride 9. Box 10. Have it guard your home while you’re out. 11. Oral sex 12. Discuss the Game of Thrones finale 13. Have any sort of meaningful conversation, about Game of Thrones, or anything at all. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35310 "2015-06-16T14:20:11Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35311 "2015-06-16T14:20:59Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35312 "2015-06-16T14:25:46Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35313 "2015-06-16T15:32:07Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) ---
**Author:** ![Personal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Personal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Personal)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35314 "2015-06-16T15:58:08Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35315 "2015-06-16T16:15:04Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35316 "2015-06-16T16:16:44Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. 7. Feed it (Though with some of y’all, she might prefer the sweet, never-ending bliss of death. 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35317 "2015-06-16T16:24:24Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. 7. Feed it 8. Flush her down the toilet after she’s gone to her fishy reward ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35318 "2015-06-16T17:02:53Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. 7. Feed it 8. Flush her down the toilet after she’s gone to her fishy reward 9. Pretend she’s a screensaver and watch her for hours ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35319 "2015-06-16T17:06:15Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. 7. Feed it 8. Flush her down the toilet after she’s gone to her fishy reward 9. Pretend she’s a screensaver and watch her for hours 10. Teach it to perform tricks. As long as you consider swimming around to be a trick. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35320 "2015-06-16T19:47:49Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. 7. Feed it 8. Flush her down the toilet after she’s gone to her fishy reward 9. Pretend she’s a screensaver and watch her for hours 10. Teach it to perform tricks. As long as you consider swimming around to be a trick. 11. Practice your ventriloquism. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35321 "2015-06-16T19:53:47Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. 7. Feed it 8. Flush her down the toilet after she’s gone to her fishy reward 9. Pretend she’s a screensaver and watch her for hours 10. Teach it to perform tricks. As long as you consider swimming around to be a trick. 11. Practice your ventriloquism. 12. Ask it a question, and when it doesn’t answer, accuse it of being a little koi with you. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35322 "2015-06-16T19:59:54Z")
Things You Can Do With Your Pet Goldfish 1. Have a fish filet sandwich. Cheese and tartar sauce, yes please. 2. Swallow him, to get into a fraternity 3. Entertainment, and possibly lunch, for your pet cat 4. Lend him to Penn & Teller for a cool trick: [- YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJhYySXzOq0) (start around 4 minute mark) 5. Go to the carnival and throw ping pong balls at her. 6. Mess with her mind by moving her little underwater castle around. 7. Feed it 8. Flush her down the toilet after she’s gone to her fishy reward 9. Pretend she’s a screensaver and watch her for hours 10. Teach it to perform tricks. As long as you consider swimming around to be a trick. 11. Practice your ventriloquism. 12. Ask it a question, and when it doesn’t answer, accuse it of being a little koi with you. 13. Feed it to larger, more interesting fish. Towns and cities in Delaware 1. Dover ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35323 "2015-06-16T20:11:23Z")
Towns and cities in Delaware 1. Dover 2. Newark [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1765) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1767)