# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1793
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35844 "2015-07-06T02:32:07Z")
Types of residences 1. Igloo 2. Nipa hut, or bahay kubo 3. Yurt 4. Garden apartment 5. Hogan 6. Penthouse suite 7. Monastery 8. Wigwam 9. Space station 10. Houseboat 11. Palace 12. Prison ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35845 "2015-07-06T02:56:03Z")
Types of residences 1. Igloo 2. Nipa hut, or bahay kubo 3. Yurt 4. Garden apartment 5. Hogan 6. Penthouse suite 7. Monastery 8. Wigwam 9. Space station 10. Houseboat 11. Palace 12. Prison 13. Flat One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35846 "2015-07-06T03:53:10Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35847 "2015-07-06T12:14:22Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35848 "2015-07-06T12:45:26Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35849 "2015-07-06T12:47:03Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35850 "2015-07-06T12:57:09Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35851 "2015-07-06T14:15:54Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller 7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35852 "2015-07-06T14:21:19Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller 7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield 8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35853 "2015-07-06T14:30:34Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller 7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield 8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart) 9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35854 "2015-07-06T15:00:20Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller 7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield 8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart) 9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield 10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35855 "2015-07-06T15:14:24Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller 7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield 8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart) 9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield 10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips 11. “I never forget a face- but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” - Groucho Marx ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35856 "2015-07-06T15:24:56Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller 7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield 8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart) 9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield 10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips 11. “I never forget a face- but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” - Groucho Marx 12. All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline…right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. (Lenny Bruce) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35857 "2015-07-06T15:54:18Z")
One-liners by comedians. 1. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths. (Steven Wright.) 2. I don’t have a girlfriend. I just have someone who would be really mad if they heard me say that. (Mitch Hedberg) 3. Take my wife…please. (Henny Youngman) 4. “[Cocaine] intensifies my personality.” Well…what if you’re an asshole? (Bill Cosby) 5. Is there another word for synonym? – George Carlin 6. Cleaning your house while your kids are growing up is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing - Phyllis Diller 7. I found myself outside of a bar that said “Topless. Bottomless.” I went inside. There was no one there! – Rodney Dangerfield 8. I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down.” (Bob Newhart) 9. “Kids these days start having sex so young, they got birth control pills shaped like Fred Flintstone.” - Rodney Dangerfield 10. My brother says “Hello.” Hooray for speech therapy! - Emo Philips 11. “I never forget a face- but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” - Groucho Marx 12. All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I’d be standing on the breadline…right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. (Lenny Bruce) 13. “If everything is an illusion and nothing exists… then I definitely overpaid for my carpet.” - Woody Allen Pass ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35858 "2015-07-06T16:00:33Z")
Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians 1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. (Dolly Parton) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35859 "2015-07-06T16:14:30Z")
Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians 1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. (Dolly Parton) 2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35860 "2015-07-06T16:19:53Z")
Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians 1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. (Dolly Parton) 2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy 3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35861 "2015-07-06T18:02:40Z")
Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians 1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton 2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy 3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan 4. “It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” - Hank Aaron ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35862 "2015-07-06T19:57:17Z")
Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians 1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton 2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy 3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan 4. “It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” - Hank Aaron 5. “You know why music critics love Elvis Costello? Because most music critics LOOK like bleeping Elvis Costello!” - David Lee Roth ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/35863 "2015-07-06T20:40:19Z")
Funny Quotes From Non-Comedians 1. I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton 2. “My father sent me this telegram: Don’t buy any more votes than you have to- I’m not paying for a damn landslide!” - John F. Kennedy 3. The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. - Ronald Reagan 4. “It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” - Hank Aaron 5. “You know why music critics love Elvis Costello? Because most music critics LOOK like bleeping Elvis Costello!” - David Lee Roth 6. “If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one?” - Abraham Lincoln, when accused by a rival politician of being two-faced [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1792) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1794)