# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1865
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37284 "2015-08-27T18:42:49Z")
Euphemisms for masturbation, male or female 1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37285 "2015-08-27T18:42:53Z")
Euphemisms for masturbation, male or female 1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism 7. Responsible for one’s own ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37286 "2015-08-27T18:47:16Z")
Euphemisms for masturbation, male or female 1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism 7. Responsible for one’s own 8. Growing one’s own fruit and vegetables ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37287 "2015-08-27T19:05:28Z")
Euphemisms for masturbation, male or female 1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism 7. Responsible for one’s own 8. Growing one’s own fruit and vegetables 9. Rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37288 "2015-08-27T19:06:40Z")
1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism 7. Responsible for one’s own 8. Growing one’s own fruit and vegetables 9. Rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel 10. Slaying the giant Cyclops monster ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37289 "2015-08-27T19:31:46Z")
1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism 7. Responsible for one’s own 8. Growing one’s own fruit and vegetables 9. Rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel 10. Slaying the giant Cyclops monster 11. Pulling the goalie ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37290 "2015-08-27T19:51:50Z")
1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism 7. Responsible for one’s own 8. Growing one’s own fruit and vegetables 9. Rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel 10. Slaying the giant Cyclops monster 11. Pulling the goalie 12. [Firing the Surgeon General](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS5LWS5m5h4) ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37291 "2015-08-27T19:54:22Z")
Euphemisms for masturbation, male or female 1. Choking the chicken 2. Flogging the dolphin 3. Spanking the monkey 4. Rub one out 5. Jacking/Jilling off 6. Onanism 7. Responsible for one’s own 8. Growing one’s own fruit and vegetables 9. Rubbing the magic one-eyed wonder weasel 10. Slaying the giant Cyclops monster 11. Pulling the goalie 12. Firing the Surgeon General 13. Going out on a date with Rosie Palms. Next: Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37292 "2015-08-27T19:54:35Z")
**Infovore** : Love the Foremen reference! I saw them play that one live and they said afterward they enjoyed watching people in the audience slowly catch on to the joke as the song went on. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37293 "2015-08-27T19:55:34Z")
Next: Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37294 "2015-08-27T19:57:33Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37295 "2015-08-27T20:21:02Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37296 "2015-08-27T20:26:59Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37297 "2015-08-27T20:58:31Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl 6. Drain the main vein ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37298 "2015-08-27T22:21:59Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl 6. Drain the main vein 7. Answering Nature’s call ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37299 "2015-08-27T22:30:07Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl 6. Drain the main vein 7. Answering Nature’s call 8. Saying howdy to a cactus Hahah! OK, this is from an old Night Court episode with the Red Ranger. A buddy and I use it all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Nelson\_Pike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Nelson\_Pike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nelson_Pike)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37300 "2015-08-27T23:07:33Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl 6. Drain the main vein 7. Answering Nature’s call 8. Saying howdy to a cactus 9. Taking a shit. Oops- that’s not a euphemism. How about: Taking a Number Two. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37301 "2015-08-28T03:47:39Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl 6. Drain the main vein 7. Answering Nature’s call 8. Saying howdy to a cactus 9. Taking a shit. Oops- that’s not a euphemism. How about: Taking a Number Two. 10. Making your bladder gladder ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37302 "2015-08-28T12:24:25Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl 6. Drain the main vein 7. Answering Nature’s call 8. Saying howdy to a cactus 9. Taking a shit. Oops- that’s not a euphemism. How about: Taking a Number Two. 10. Making your bladder gladder 11. Makin’ lemonade/chocolate [Carlin] How do you take a shit? You don’t take a shit, you _leave_ a shit! [/Carlin] ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/37303 "2015-08-28T14:22:07Z")
Euphemisms for going to the bathroom 1. Burning a mule 2. Seeing a man about a dog 3. Dropping the kids off at the pool 4. Pinching a loaf 5. Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl 6. Drain the main vein 7. Answering Nature’s call 8. Saying howdy to a cactus 9. Taking a shit. Oops- that’s not a euphemism. How about: Taking a Number Two. 10. Making your bladder gladder 11. Makin’ lemonade/chocolate 12. Drop a deuce [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1864) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=1866)