# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2047
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40925 "2016-01-12T20:10:02Z")
Things President Obama won’t say in his State of the Union Address 1. “I really preferred O’Malley, but it looks like Hillary has the nomination pretty much in the bag.” 2. “North Korea ain’t fucking around, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” 3. “We’ve done a good job so far.” (well, he CAN’T by all rights say this) 4. “I have awarded David Bowie a posthumous Medal of Freedom.” 5. “I’ll take the Chicago Bears and the points this weekend.” 6. “To be honest, I’m bored with this job, and January 20, 2017 can’t come soon enough.” 7. “I’m looking forward to retirement and a return to Kenya.” 8. “Mission accomplished” 9. “Nyah, nyah, I really AM a Muslim!” 10. “I am here tonight to endorse Donald Trump for President.” 11. “Forget the election: if you really want this job after I leave, you have to buy it from Rod Blagojevich.” 12. “I am pleased to announce I’ve struck a deal with Paramount, and Will Smith is going to play me in the bio-pic.” ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40926 "2016-01-12T20:52:41Z")
Things President Obama won’t say in his State of the Union Address 1. “I really preferred O’Malley, but it looks like Hillary has the nomination pretty much in the bag.” 2. “North Korea ain’t fucking around, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” 3. “We’ve done a good job so far.” (well, he CAN’T by all rights say this) 4. “I have awarded David Bowie a posthumous Medal of Freedom.” 5. “I’ll take the Chicago Bears and the points this weekend.” 6. “To be honest, I’m bored with this job, and January 20, 2017 can’t come soon enough.” 7. “I’m looking forward to retirement and a return to Kenya.” 8. “Mission accomplished” 9. “Nyah, nyah, I really AM a Muslim!” 10. “I am here tonight to endorse Donald Trump for President.” 11. “Forget the election: if you really want this job after I leave, you have to buy it from Rod Blagojevich.” 12. “I am pleased to announce I’ve struck a deal with Paramount, and Will Smith is going to play me in the bio-pic.” 13. “You’re fired!” New Topic Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40927 "2016-01-12T20:58:06Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40928 "2016-01-12T21:09:48Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40929 "2016-01-12T21:43:46Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40930 "2016-01-12T21:45:09Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40931 "2016-01-12T22:27:26Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40932 "2016-01-12T22:56:06Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” 7. “Fool me once, shame on me, umm…” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40933 "2016-01-12T23:04:38Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” 7. “Fool me once, shame on me, umm…” 8. “Awesome job, dude!” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40934 "2016-01-12T23:12:16Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” 7. “Fool me once, shame on me, umm…” 8. “Awesome job, dude!” 9. “Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40935 "2016-01-12T23:20:28Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” 7. “Fool me once, shame on me, umm…” 8. “Awesome job, dude!” 9. “Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!” 10. “Now _ **THAT’s** _ the Chicago way!” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40936 "2016-01-12T23:24:46Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” 7. “Fool me once, shame on me, umm…” 8. “Awesome job, dude!” 9. “Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!” 10. “Now _ **THAT’s** _ the Chicago way!” 11. “We must all put aside our petty differences and work together to destroy Trump!” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40937 "2016-01-12T23:29:32Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” 7. “Fool me once, shame on me, umm…” 8. “Awesome job, dude!” 9. “Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!” 10. “Now _ **THAT’s** _ the Chicago way!” 11. “We must all put aside our petty differences and work together to destroy Trump!” 12. “Ah, what’s the point of rebuttal? You idiots voted for him twice. You’re obviously hopeless.” ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40938 "2016-01-12T23:45:11Z")
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech… 1. “We should support our President like we support our troops!” 2. “You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.” 3. “We did the right thing, voting this guy in.” 4. “This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!” 5. “What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!” 6. “That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?” 7. “Fool me once, shame on me, umm…” 8. “Awesome job, dude!” 9. “Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!” 10. “Now _ **THAT’s** _ the Chicago way!” 11. “We must all put aside our petty differences and work together to destroy Trump!” 12. “Ah, what’s the point of rebuttal? You idiots voted for him twice. You’re obviously hopeless.” 13. \ “Here’s your original long form birth certificate, Barry. We’ve totally had it for the last ten years, but Mom said the prank’s gone on long enough and we have to give it back now. And we have to say sorry.” Pass. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40939 "2016-01-13T00:11:30Z")
#11 above - you know they _want_ to say that, they just _won’t_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40940 "2016-01-13T01:19:01Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Things President Obama won’t say in his State of the Union Address > > …12. “I am pleased to announce I’ve struck a deal with Paramount, and Will Smith is going to play me in the bio-pic.” No, I have it on good authority that it’s going to be Daniel Day-Lewis: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyU213nhrh0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyU213nhrh0) ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40941 "2016-01-13T02:41:50Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > No, I have it on good authority that it’s going to be Daniel Day-Lewis: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyU213nhrh0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyU213nhrh0) Jesus. I fell for that for about one minute. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40942 "2016-01-13T04:13:46Z")
What you would buy if you won the $1.4 billion Dollar Powerball: 1. Dirigibles ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40943 "2016-01-13T04:16:36Z")
What you would buy if you won the $1.4 billion Dollar Powerball: 1. Dirigibles 2. Hooker and cocaine No reason to mess with the formula that’s already been postulated. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/40944 "2016-01-13T04:31:27Z")
What you would buy if you won the $1.4 billion Dollar Powerball: 1. Dirigibles 2. Hooker and cocaine 3. House with a 10-car garage, and then collect the 10 cars I want. That would leave me with about $1.395B, not counting taxes… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2046) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2048)