# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2090
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41785 "2016-03-05T23:31:56Z")
What Gordon Ramsay might say if he was teaching Donald Trump to cook 1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2016, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41786 "2016-03-06T05:05:26Z")
What Gordon Ramsay might say if he was teaching Donald Trump to cook 1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! 7. That orange fake tan makes you look like a roast duck! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2016, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41787 "2016-03-06T17:34:58Z")
What Gordon Ramsay might say if he was teaching Donald Trump to cook 1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! 7. That orange fake tan makes you look like a roast duck! 8. Without illegal aliens, where am I going to get dish washers and busboys, you bloody fool? ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41788 "2016-03-07T02:15:54Z")
What Gordon Ramsay might say if he was teaching Donald Trump to cook 1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! 7. That orange fake tan makes you look like a roast duck! 8. Without illegal aliens, where am I going to get dish washers and busboys, you bloody fool? 9. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] Yeah, yeah, I know - he says that to everybody… ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41789 "2016-03-07T04:13:12Z")
What Gordon Ramsay might say if he was teaching Donald Trump to cook 1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! 7. That orange fake tan makes you look like a roast duck! 8. Without illegal aliens, where am I going to get dish washers and busboys, you bloody fool? 9. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] 10. Shut it down! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41790 "2016-03-07T04:41:25Z")
What Gordon Ramsay might say if he was teaching Donald Trump to cook 1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! 7. That orange fake tan makes you look like a roast duck! 8. Without illegal aliens, where am I going to get dish washers and busboys, you bloody fool? 9. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] 10. Shut it down! 11. As a sous chef, you make a helluva four-times-bankrupt businessman. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41791 "2016-03-07T05:28:41Z")
What Gordon Ramsay might say if he was teaching Donald Trump to cook 1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! 7. That orange fake tan makes you look like a roast duck! 8. Without illegal aliens, where am I going to get dish washers and busboys, you bloody fool? 9. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] 10. Shut it down! 11. As a sous chef, you make a helluva four-times-bankrupt businessman. 12. Add a little Trump vodka to that sauce. Oh wait, I forgot, your vodka sucked and nobody sells it any more. I know, we can borrow some from Trump Airlines. Oh wait… ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41792 "2016-03-07T16:35:51Z")
1. I wouldn’t trust you running a bath, much less the whole country. 2. Are you even serious about cooking? Or is it like your run for the Presidency, doing it for shits and giggles? 3. Come on! If you can’t make a decent enough risotto to get customer to pay for it how are you ever going to get Mexico to pay for your wall!? 4. That wig is a health hazard. 5. Get your short fingers out of the bouillabaisse, you cretin! 6. The only thing Huuugeee in this kitchen is your incompetence! 7. That orange fake tan makes you look like a roast duck! 8. Without illegal aliens, where am I going to get dish washers and busboys, you bloody fool? 9. [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] [EXPLETIVE DELETED] 10. Shut it down! 11. As a sous chef, you make a helluva four-times-bankrupt businessman. 12. Add a little Trump vodka to that sauce. Oh wait, I forgot, your vodka sucked and nobody sells it any more. I know, we can borrow some from Trump Airlines. Oh wait… 13. No, it is not called “Chicken and Trumplings” New Topic: Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41793 "2016-03-07T16:52:13Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41794 "2016-03-07T17:21:36Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41795 "2016-03-07T17:33:03Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41796 "2016-03-07T17:47:33Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41797 "2016-03-07T18:25:34Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself 6. Cessna lands on Peyton Manning’s forehead. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41798 "2016-03-07T19:16:43Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. Bernie Sanders Chippendales past ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41799 "2016-03-07T19:54:47Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself 6. Cessna lands on Peyton Manning’s forehead. 7. Bernie Sanders Chippendale past 8. Okay, we admit it- Elvis really is dead. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41800 "2016-03-07T20:32:26Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself 6. Cessna lands on Peyton Manning’s forehead. 7. Bernie Sanders Chippendale past 8. Okay, we admit it- Elvis really is dead. 9. Hollywood Star’s Nightmare Decent into Booze and Sex ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41801 "2016-03-07T20:42:23Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself 6. Cessna lands on Peyton Manning’s forehead. 7. Bernie Sanders Chippendale past 8. Okay, we admit it- Elvis really is dead. 9. Hollywood Star’s Nightmare Decent into Booze and Sex 10. 10 celebrity fat pics! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41802 "2016-03-08T00:23:59Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself 6. Cessna lands on Peyton Manning’s forehead. 7. Bernie Sanders Chippendale past 8. Okay, we admit it- Elvis really is dead. 9. Hollywood Star’s Nightmare Decent into Booze and Sex 10. 10 celebrity fat pics! 11. What Bill and Hillary know but won’t tell about Natalie Wood’s drowning ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41803 "2016-03-08T00:55:05Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself 6. Cessna lands on Peyton Manning’s forehead. 7. Bernie Sanders Chippendale past 8. Okay, we admit it- Elvis really is dead. 9. Hollywood Star’s Nightmare Decent into Booze and Sex 10. 10 celebrity fat pics! 11. What Bill and Hillary know but won’t tell about Natalie Wood’s drowning 12. Obama’s Secret Lover: Chris Tucker ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41804 "2016-03-08T19:13:26Z")
Headlines you would not be surprised to see in a Check-out Counter Tabloid. 1. Caitlyn Jenner: Pregnant with Twins 2. Osama bin Laden found alive and living in sin with Anna Nicole Smith 3. Miley Cyrus shocks concert-goers by performing fully clothed 4. New Evidence Points to O.J.'s innocence 5. Woman weds herself 6. Cessna lands on Peyton Manning’s forehead. 7. Bernie Sanders Chippendale past 8. Okay, we admit it- Elvis really is dead. 9. Hollywood Star’s Nightmare Decent into Booze and Sex 10. 10 celebrity fat pics! 11. What Bill and Hillary know but won’t tell about Natalie Wood’s drowning 12. Obama’s Secret Lover: Chris Tucker 13. UFO Lands on Mall in Washington - Sole Occupant: Andy Kaufman New Topic What will you do with your $4.50 tax refund? 1. Buy 2/3 of a Happy Meal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2089) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2091)