# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2094
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41865 "2016-03-13T16:20:37Z")
In Memory of Keith Emerson, David Bowie, Chris Squire, and other rock legends we’ve recently lost: Progressive rock clichés. 1. Keyboardist with glitzy, sequin-studded cape. 2. Spandex clothing. 3. Spinning drum kit with multiple gongs. 4. Unconventional hair styles 5. Album cuts that are ten minutes or longer 6. Make-up 7. Album covers featuring naked male butts (to prove how “arty” they are) 8. Complicated time signatures 9. Pyrotechnics on stage 10. Unusual stringed instruments - lutes, balalaikas, 12-string bass guitar, etc. 11. Unintelligible lyrics filled with unicorns, satyrs, gnomes, fauns, and assorted Tolkienesque creatures 12. Hockey arenas packed with 19,984 males and 16 girls. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41866 "2016-03-13T16:28:09Z")
Girls? What is “girls?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41867 "2016-03-13T17:02:53Z")
In Memory of Keith Emerson, David Bowie, Chris Squire, and other rock legends we’ve recently lost: Progressive rock clichés. 1. Keyboardist with glitzy, sequin-studded cape. 2. Spandex clothing. 3. Spinning drum kit with multiple gongs. 4. Unconventional hair styles 5. Album cuts that are ten minutes or longer 6. Make-up 7. Album covers featuring naked male butts (to prove how “arty” they are) 8. Complicated time signatures 9. Pyrotechnics on stage 10. Unusual stringed instruments - lutes, balalaikas, 12-string bass guitar, etc. 11. Unintelligible lyrics filled with unicorns, satyrs, gnomes, fauns, and assorted Tolkienesque creatures 12. Hockey arenas packed with 19,984 males and 16 girls. 13. Fervent fans who think the lyrics hold the secrets of the universe Next category: Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2016, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41868 "2016-03-13T18:01:43Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41869 "2016-03-14T03:09:04Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41870 "2016-03-14T03:42:51Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41871 "2016-03-14T05:22:19Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41872 "2016-03-14T06:10:09Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41873 "2016-03-14T11:46:31Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. 7. Disgusted by all the candidates, nobody voted. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41874 "2016-03-14T14:37:14Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. 7. Disgusted by all the candidates, nobody voted. 8. Somehow, some way, all of the candidates tell the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41875 "2016-03-14T15:16:14Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. 7. Disgusted by all the candidates, nobody voted. 8. Somehow, some way, all of the candidates tell the truth 9. Ted Cruz announces his last-minute endorsement by the ghost of Joe McCarthy. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41876 "2016-03-14T18:09:51Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. 7. Disgusted by all the candidates, nobody voted. 8. Somehow, some way, all of the candidates tell the truth 9. Ted Cruz announces his last-minute endorsement by the ghost of Joe McCarthy. 10. Trump’s toupee falls of and reveals face of Hitler residing on back of his head ala Voldemort. Still wins Ohio. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41877 "2016-03-14T18:21:16Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. 7. Disgusted by all the candidates, nobody voted. 8. Somehow, some way, all of the candidates tell the truth 9. Ted Cruz announces his last-minute endorsement by the ghost of Joe McCarthy. 10. Trump’s toupee falls of and reveals face of Hitler residing on back of his head ala Voldemort. Still wins Ohio. 11. Ohio votes to rename the state “Trump”. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41878 "2016-03-14T20:44:58Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. 7. Disgusted by all the candidates, nobody voted. 8. Somehow, some way, all of the candidates tell the truth 9. Ted Cruz announces his last-minute endorsement by the ghost of Joe McCarthy. 10. Trump’s toupee falls of and reveals face of Hitler residing on back of his head ala Voldemort. Still wins Ohio. 11. Ohio votes to rename the state “Trump”. 12. All the Democrats write in “Porky Pig” as a joke, and Porky wins ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41879 "2016-03-14T22:26:00Z")
Unlikely results of the Ohio primary election on Tuesday 1. Donald Trump gets only 27 votes, drops out of the race, apologizes to everyone he’s offended and admits it was all a publicity stunt 2. Everyone watches Mitt Romney’s speech, comes to his senses, and votes for Rubio. 3. Trump’s hair levitates off his scalp and summons the mothership. 4. Hillary shows up at Bernie’s victory speech and French-kisses him. 5. Somebody accidentally runs an old program and George W. Bush wins the state. 6. Bernie Sanders declares that Hillary fantasizes about being raped by him. 7. Disgusted by all the candidates, nobody voted. 8. Somehow, some way, all of the candidates tell the truth 9. Ted Cruz announces his last-minute endorsement by the ghost of Joe McCarthy. 10. Trump’s toupee falls of and reveals face of Hitler residing on back of his head ala Voldemort. Still wins Ohio. 11. Ohio votes to rename the state “Trump”. 12. All the Democrats write in “Porky Pig” as a joke, and Porky wins 13. Major breaking news: “Trump Steaks Is People!” Still wins Ohio Next up: Major changes that probably won’t be seen on this season’s Game of Thrones 1. Reba McEntire joins the cast as sassy mountain woman Catsuppa Gravy and sings the show’s new theme song, “A Way Down East in Westeros” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41880 "2016-03-14T22:29:19Z")
Major changes that probably won’t be seen on this season’s Game of Thrones 1. Reba McEntire joins the cast as sassy mountain woman Catsuppa Gravy and sings the show’s new theme song, “A Way Down East in Westeros” 2. Plot elements taken from the published sixth and seventh volumes ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41881 "2016-03-14T22:29:44Z")
Major changes that probably won’t be seen on this season’s Game of Thrones 1. Reba McEntire joins the cast as sassy mountain woman Catsuppa Gravy and sings the show’s new theme song, “A Way Down East in Westeros” 2. Plot elements taken from the published sixth and seventh volumes 3. Tyrion Lannister becomes a monk. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2016, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41882 "2016-03-14T22:30:22Z")
Major changes that probably won’t be seen on this season’s Game of Thrones 1. Reba McEntire joins the cast as sassy mountain woman Catsuppa Gravy and sings the show’s new theme song, “A Way Down East in Westeros” 2. Plot elements taken from the published sixth and seventh volumes 3. Tyrion Lannister becomes a monk. 4. After becoming a monk Tyrion Lannister falls for a very clingy princess (Sarah Silverman) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41883 "2016-03-15T03:24:25Z")
Major changes that probably won’t be seen on this season’s Game of Thrones 1. Reba McEntire joins the cast as sassy mountain woman Catsuppa Gravy and sings the show’s new theme song, “A Way Down East in Westeros” 2. Plot elements taken from the published sixth and seventh volumes 3. Tyrion Lannister becomes a monk. 4. After becoming a monk Tyrion Lannister falls for a very clingy princess (Sarah Silverman) 5. Olenna Tyrell starts getting naked every week. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/41884 "2016-03-15T03:56:14Z")
Major changes that probably won’t be seen on this season’s Game of Thrones 1. Reba McEntire joins the cast as sassy mountain woman Catsuppa Gravy and sings the show’s new theme song, “A Way Down East in Westeros” 2. Plot elements taken from the published sixth and seventh volumes 3. Tyrion Lannister becomes a monk. 4. After becoming a monk Tyrion Lannister falls for a very clingy princess (Sarah Silverman) 5. Olenna Tyrell starts getting naked every week. 6. New catchphrase: “You know everything, Jon Snow.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2093) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2095)