# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2116
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42305 "2016-03-30T16:31:10Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42306 "2016-03-30T16:58:00Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get _real_ food?” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42307 "2016-03-30T17:02:43Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” A hilarious line from the South Park kids being welcomed by their Chinese Olympic host making fun of Americans. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42308 "2016-03-30T19:17:25Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” 7. Introduces himself as Kirk Cameron ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42309 "2016-03-30T22:00:13Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “[Ugly American](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugly_American_(pejorative))” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” 7. Introduces himself as Kirk Cameron 8. Loudly laughs at local food / place name / given name / language that supposedly looks or sounds “funny” ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42310 "2016-03-30T22:47:13Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “[Ugly American](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugly_American_(pejorative))” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” 7. Introduces himself as Kirk Cameron 8. Loudly laughs at local food / place name / given name / language that supposedly looks or sounds “funny” 9. Derides local currency as Monopoly money. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42311 "2016-03-30T22:58:57Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” 7. Introduces himself as Kirk Cameron 8. Loudly laughs at local food / place name / given name / language that supposedly looks or sounds “funny” 9. Derides local currency as Monopoly money. 10. Openly scoffs at local customs ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2016, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42312 "2016-03-30T23:05:20Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” 7. Introduces himself as Kirk Cameron 8. Loudly laughs at local food / place name / given name / language that supposedly looks or sounds “funny” 9. Derides local currency as Monopoly money. 10. Openly scoffs at local customs 11. Complains about traffic driving on the wrong side of the road in stay-left countries ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42313 "2016-03-31T03:17:34Z")
Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” 7. Introduces himself as Kirk Cameron 8. Loudly laughs at local food / place name / given name / language that supposedly looks or sounds “funny” 9. Derides local currency as Monopoly money. 10. Openly scoffs at local customs 11. Complains about traffic driving on the wrong side of the road in stay-left countries 12. Sews a Canadian flag on his backpack, so people won’t know he’s American. ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42314 "2016-03-31T04:21:13Z")
]Signs you are talking to a clueless “Ugly American” tourist while abroad 1. Tourist talks LOUDER and SLOWER but still in English 2. Graffiti on historic landmarks 3. ‘Make America Great Again’ cap 4. Complains a lot about how things aren’t the same as back home 5. Asks “Where can you get real food?” 6. “Do you have any non-dairy creamer?” 7. Introduces himself as Kirk Cameron 8. Loudly laughs at local food / place name / given name / language that supposedly looks or sounds “funny” 9. Derides local currency as Monopoly money. 10. Openly scoffs at local customs 11. Complains about traffic driving on the wrong side of the road in stay-left countries 12. Sews a Canadian flag on his backpack, so people won’t know he’s American. 13. Proud of getting loudly and obnoxiously drunk. New category Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42315 "2016-03-31T10:08:45Z")
New category Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42316 "2016-03-31T10:24:32Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42317 "2016-03-31T11:35:22Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42318 "2016-03-31T11:41:14Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula 5. Laurence Sterne / Tristram Shandy ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42319 "2016-03-31T11:49:52Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula 5. Laurence Sterne / Tristram Shandy 6. James Fennimore Cooper / Last of the Mohicans It’s harder to think of a classic that has NOT been. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42320 "2016-03-31T11:51:55Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula 5. Laurence Sterne / Tristram Shandy 6. James Fennimore Cooper / Last of the Mohicans 7. Jane Austen/Pride and Prejudice ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42321 "2016-03-31T12:51:08Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula 5. Laurence Sterne / Tristram Shandy 6. James Fennimore Cooper / Last of the Mohicans 7. Jane Austen/Pride and Prejudice 8. Leo Tolstoy / War and Peace ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42322 "2016-03-31T13:17:11Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula 5. Laurence Sterne / Tristram Shandy 6. James Fennimore Cooper / Last of the Mohicans 7. Jane Austen/Pride and Prejudice 8. Leo Tolstoy / War and Peace 9. Henry Fielding / Tom Jones ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42323 "2016-03-31T13:49:30Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula 5. Laurence Sterne / Tristram Shandy 6. James Fennimore Cooper / Last of the Mohicans 7. Jane Austen/Pride and Prejudice 8. Leo Tolstoy / War and Peace 9. Henry Fielding / Tom Jones 10. Emily Bronte / Wuthering Heights ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/42324 "2016-03-31T14:12:48Z")
Classic authors / works that have been made into film 1. Charlotte Bronte / Jane Eyre 2. Alexandre Dumas / The Three Musketeers 3. William Shakespeare / Much Ado About Nothing (several times) 4. Bram Stoker / Dracula 5. Laurence Sterne / Tristram Shandy 6. James Fennimore Cooper / Last of the Mohicans 7. Jane Austen/Pride and Prejudice 8. Leo Tolstoy / War and Peace 9. Henry Fielding / Tom Jones 10. Emily Bronte / Wuthering Heights 11. Charles Dickens/ Oliver Twist (many times) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2115) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2117)