# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2281
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45606 "2016-08-10T16:03:01Z")
Things Hillary Clinton might be saying on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 1. And Trump thought he could beat me? HA!!! 2. Could someone sweep this up? The floor seems to be covered with glass shards — almost as if something had been shattered … 3. So nice to finally meet you, Miss Lewinsky. This plane will take you directly to Guantanamo. 4. Okay, Bill. Lose some weight, get rid of that grey, and buy some Armani suits. You’ve got to look the part of First Gentleman 5. Let’s get those Treason charges on Donald started, pronto! 6. That’s it; I’m done with these damned pantsuits. Say hello to the Presidential Muumuu! 7. Well, you know, I have to resign because the Bible says a woman cannot hold domain over a man…BAZINGA! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45607 "2016-08-10T16:24:39Z")
Things Hillary Clinton might be saying on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 1. And Trump thought he could beat me? HA!!! 2. Could someone sweep this up? The floor seems to be covered with glass shards — almost as if something had been shattered … 3. So nice to finally meet you, Miss Lewinsky. This plane will take you directly to Guantanamo. 4. Okay, Bill. Lose some weight, get rid of that grey, and buy some Armani suits. You’ve got to look the part of First Gentleman 5. Let’s get those Treason charges on Donald started, pronto! 6. That’s it; I’m done with these damned pantsuits. Say hello to the Presidential Muumuu! 7. Well, you know, I have to resign because the Bible says a woman cannot hold domain over a man…BAZINGA! 8. Finally, I can start that “Seinfeld” marathon I’ve been putting off all these years! ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45608 "2016-08-10T16:53:59Z")
Things Hillary Clinton might be saying on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 1. And Trump thought he could beat me? HA!!! 2. Could someone sweep this up? The floor seems to be covered with glass shards — almost as if something had been shattered … 3. So nice to finally meet you, Miss Lewinsky. This plane will take you directly to Guantanamo. 4. Okay, Bill. Lose some weight, get rid of that grey, and buy some Armani suits. You’ve got to look the part of First Gentleman 5. Let’s get those Treason charges on Donald started, pronto! 6. That’s it; I’m done with these damned pantsuits. Say hello to the Presidential Muumuu! 7. Well, you know, I have to resign because the Bible says a woman cannot hold domain over a man…BAZINGA! 8. Finally, I can start that “Seinfeld” marathon I’ve been putting off all these years! 9. Oh, and those deleted emails? SO treasonous. Really, you have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45609 "2016-08-10T16:57:55Z")
Things Hillary Clinton might be saying on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 1. And Trump thought he could beat me? HA!!! 2. Could someone sweep this up? The floor seems to be covered with glass shards — almost as if something had been shattered … 3. So nice to finally meet you, Miss Lewinsky. This plane will take you directly to Guantanamo. 4. Okay, Bill. Lose some weight, get rid of that grey, and buy some Armani suits. You’ve got to look the part of First Gentleman 5. Let’s get those Treason charges on Donald started, pronto! 6. That’s it; I’m done with these damned pantsuits. Say hello to the Presidential Muumuu! 7. Well, you know, I have to resign because the Bible says a woman cannot hold domain over a man…BAZINGA! 8. Finally, I can start that “Seinfeld” marathon I’ve been putting off all these years! 9. Oh, and those deleted emails? SO treasonous. Really, you have no idea. 10.I would like to thank my true love partner in life and we both think it’s past time for both of us to come out of the closet. So here she is…Oprah Winfrey! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45610 "2016-08-10T18:04:44Z")
Things Hillary Clinton might be saying on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 1. And Trump thought he could beat me? HA!!! 2. Could someone sweep this up? The floor seems to be covered with glass shards — almost as if something had been shattered … 3. So nice to finally meet you, Miss Lewinsky. This plane will take you directly to Guantanamo. 4. Okay, Bill. Lose some weight, get rid of that grey, and buy some Armani suits. You’ve got to look the part of First Gentleman 5. Let’s get those Treason charges on Donald started, pronto! 6. That’s it; I’m done with these damned pantsuits. Say hello to the Presidential Muumuu! 7. Well, you know, I have to resign because the Bible says a woman cannot hold domain over a man…BAZINGA! 8. Finally, I can start that “Seinfeld” marathon I’ve been putting off all these years! 9. Oh, and those deleted emails? SO treasonous. Really, you have no idea. 10.I would like to thank my true love partner in life and we both think it’s past time for both of us to come out of the closet. So here she is…Oprah Winfrey! 10. “Ha ha, suckers. The real Hillary Clinton died years ago.” Pulls off mask. “It’s really me, Barack Obama. And you just elected me to a third term.” “And it’s been Joe Biden wearing the Donald Trump mask. I’m frankly amazed we got away with this.” ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45611 "2016-08-10T18:29:54Z")
Things Hillary Clinton might be saying on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 1. And Trump thought he could beat me? HA!!! 2. Could someone sweep this up? The floor seems to be covered with glass shards — almost as if something had been shattered … 3. So nice to finally meet you, Miss Lewinsky. This plane will take you directly to Guantanamo. 4. Okay, Bill. Lose some weight, get rid of that grey, and buy some Armani suits. You’ve got to look the part of First Gentleman 5. Let’s get those Treason charges on Donald started, pronto! 6. That’s it; I’m done with these damned pantsuits. Say hello to the Presidential Muumuu! 7. Well, you know, I have to resign because the Bible says a woman cannot hold domain over a man…BAZINGA! 8. Finally, I can start that “Seinfeld” marathon I’ve been putting off all these years! 9. Oh, and those deleted emails? SO treasonous. Really, you have no idea. 10.I would like to thank my true love partner in life and we both think it’s past time for both of us to come out of the closet. So here she is…Oprah Winfrey! 10. “Ha ha, suckers. The real Hillary Clinton died years ago.” Pulls off mask. “It’s really me, Barack Obama. And you just elected me to a third term.” “And it’s been Joe Biden wearing the Donald Trump mask. I’m frankly amazed we got away with this.” 11. “Likable enough? I’m tired of being likable enough! Now I’ll show you!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45612 "2016-08-10T18:33:27Z")
Things Hillary Clinton might be saying on Wednesday, November 9, 2016 1. And Trump thought he could beat me? HA!!! 2. Could someone sweep this up? The floor seems to be covered with glass shards — almost as if something had been shattered … 3. So nice to finally meet you, Miss Lewinsky. This plane will take you directly to Guantanamo. 4. Okay, Bill. Lose some weight, get rid of that grey, and buy some Armani suits. You’ve got to look the part of First Gentleman 5. Let’s get those Treason charges on Donald started, pronto! 6. That’s it; I’m done with these damned pantsuits. Say hello to the Presidential Muumuu! 7. Well, you know, I have to resign because the Bible says a woman cannot hold domain over a man…BAZINGA! 8. Finally, I can start that “Seinfeld” marathon I’ve been putting off all these years! 9. Oh, and those deleted emails? SO treasonous. Really, you have no idea. 10.I would like to thank my true love partner in life and we both think it’s past time for both of us to come out of the closet. So here she is…Oprah Winfrey! 10. “Ha ha, suckers. The real Hillary Clinton died years ago.” Pulls off mask. “It’s really me, Barack Obama. And you just elected me to a third term.” “And it’s been Joe Biden wearing the Donald Trump mask. I’m frankly amazed we got away with this.” 11. “Likable enough? I’m tired of being likable enough! Now I’ll show you!” 12. “Chelsea is being appointed to the post of Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Today.” New! Mary Ann Madden, who edited a literary composition contest in _The New Yorker_ for over three decades, has passed away. In tribute, one of her best known competitions: Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45613 "2016-08-10T18:36:20Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45614 "2016-08-10T19:20:15Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ,13. “Chelsea is being appointed to the post of Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Today.”… Can’t let one of my pet peeves slide. It’s “Chief Justice of the United States”: [28 U.S. Code § 1 - Number of justices; quorum | U.S. Code | US Law | LII / Legal Information Institute](https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/28/1) Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45615 "2016-08-10T20:22:24Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45616 "2016-08-10T20:29:27Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45617 "2016-08-10T20:55:10Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2016, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45618 "2016-08-10T22:22:24Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) 7. So you’ve been chosen Thane of Cawdor! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45619 "2016-08-11T01:11:14Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) 7. So you’ve been chosen Thane of Cawdor! 8. Have a Joyous, Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day! ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45620 "2016-08-11T02:24:51Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) 7. So you’ve been chosen Thane of Cawdor! 8. Have a Joyous, Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day! 9. Whoopee! Congratulations on your bountiful kale harvest! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45621 "2016-08-11T02:51:11Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) 7. So you’ve been chosen Thane of Cawdor! 8. Have a Joyous, Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day! 9. Whoopee! Congratulations on your bountiful kale harvest! 10. Thoughts and Prayers on the Death of Your Goldfish ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45622 "2016-08-11T06:07:27Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) 7. So you’ve been chosen Thane of Cawdor! 8. Have a Joyous, Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day! 9. Whoopee! Congratulations on your bountiful kale harvest! 10. Thoughts and Prayers on the Death of Your Goldfish 11. Congratulations on finally popping that huge ugly pimple. Or is that your nose? ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45623 "2016-08-11T07:14:46Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) 7. So you’ve been chosen Thane of Cawdor! 8. Have a Joyous, Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day! 9. Whoopee! Congratulations on your bountiful kale harvest! 10. Thoughts and Prayers on the Death of Your Goldfish 11. Congratulations on finally popping that huge ugly pimple. Or is that your nose? 12. Don’t be discouraged. Lots of people fail the bar exam the first time. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45624 "2016-08-11T11:46:07Z")
Unusual greeting cards. 1. Thank you for the giant sea tortoise. 2. I forgive you for giving me an STD 3. Jeez, I can’t believe you’re that hung up on the Chief Justice’s title! 4. Kiddo, your mom and I are getting a divorce 5. Congratulations on the new birth, let me know if I’m the dad. 6. You’re adopted and your real parents are circus people! Just kidding (about the circus people, you really are adopted) 7. So you’ve been chosen Thane of Cawdor! 8. Have a Joyous, Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day! 9. Whoopee! Congratulations on your bountiful kale harvest! 10. Thoughts and Prayers on the Death of Your Goldfish 11. Congratulations on finally popping that huge ugly pimple. Or is that your nose? 12. Don’t be discouraged. Lots of people fail the bar exam the first tim 13. Hurray! You’re Out on Parole! There are no Holidays in August. Suggest one. 14. “It’s Too Damn Hot to Do Anything” Day ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/45625 "2016-08-11T11:50:39Z")
There are no Holidays in August. Suggest one. 1. “It’s Too Damn Hot to Do Anything” Day 2. Billy Bob Thornton’s Birthday [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2280) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2282)