# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2823
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56447 "2017-12-31T15:53:52Z")
New Year’s resolutions that are a cinch to keep 1. I will snuggle with my lovey-dovey pitbull at least once a day 2. I will restrict drinking only to days that end with “y” 3. I will not engage in photosynthesis 4. I will turn on one or more lights when it gets dark. 5. I will drink at least 12 oz of water every day 6. I will not try to lose weight by eating less and exercising more 7. I will not invade Venezuela this year. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2017, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56448 "2017-12-31T16:22:49Z")
New Year’s resolutions that are a cinch to keep 1. I will snuggle with my lovey-dovey pitbull at least once a day 2. I will restrict drinking only to days that end with “y” 3. I will not engage in photosynthesis 4. I will turn on one or more lights when it gets dark. 5. I will drink at least 12 oz of water every day 6. I will not try to lose weight by eating less and exercising more 7. I will not invade Venezuela this year. 8. I resolve to get older. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56449 "2018-01-01T05:18:42Z")
New Year’s resolutions that are a cinch to keep 1. I will snuggle with my lovey-dovey pitbull at least once a day 2. I will restrict drinking only to days that end with “y” 3. I will not engage in photosynthesis 4. I will turn on one or more lights when it gets dark. 5. I will drink at least 12 oz of water every day 6. I will not try to lose weight by eating less and exercising more 7. I will not invade Venezuela this year. 8. I resolve to get older. 9. No matter how much any public official may infuriate and appall me, I will not assassinate him or her ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56450 "2018-01-01T05:55:59Z")
New Year’s resolutions that are a cinch to keep 1. I will snuggle with my lovey-dovey pitbull at least once a day 2. I will restrict drinking only to days that end with “y” 3. I will not engage in photosynthesis 4. I will turn on one or more lights when it gets dark. 5. I will drink at least 12 oz of water every day 6. I will not try to lose weight by eating less and exercising more 7. I will not invade Venezuela this year. 8. I resolve to get older. 9. No matter how much any public official may infuriate and appall me, I will not assassinate him or her 10. I will not drink whiskey A cinch for me, I hate the stuff. Wine, OTOH… ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56451 "2018-01-01T11:04:03Z")
New Year’s resolutions that are a cinch to keep 1. I will snuggle with my lovey-dovey pitbull at least once a day 2. I will restrict drinking only to days that end with “y” 3. I will not engage in photosynthesis 4. I will turn on one or more lights when it gets dark. 5. I will drink at least 12 oz of water every day 6. I will not try to lose weight by eating less and exercising more 7. I will not invade Venezuela this year. 8. I resolve to get older. 9. No matter how much any public official may infuriate and appall me, I will not assassinate him or her 10. I will not drink whiskey 11. I will wear clothing when in public. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56452 "2018-01-01T14:01:45Z")
New Year’s resolutions that are a cinch to keep 1. I will snuggle with my lovey-dovey pitbull at least once a day 2. I will restrict drinking only to days that end with “y” 3. I will not engage in photosynthesis 4. I will turn on one or more lights when it gets dark. 5. I will drink at least 12 oz of water every day 6. I will not try to lose weight by eating less and exercising more 7. I will not invade Venezuela this year. 8. I resolve to get older. 9. No matter how much any public official may infuriate and appall me, I will not assassinate him or her 10. I will not drink whiskey 11. I will wear clothing when in public. 12. I will check in at the SDMB most days. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56453 "2018-01-01T14:23:54Z")
New Year’s resolutions that are a cinch to keep 1. I will snuggle with my lovey-dovey pitbull at least once a day 2. I will restrict drinking only to days that end with “y” 3. I will not engage in photosynthesis 4. I will turn on one or more lights when it gets dark. 5. I will drink at least 12 oz of water every day 6. I will not try to lose weight by eating less and exercising more 7. I will not invade Venezuela this year. 8. I resolve to get older. 9. No matter how much any public official may infuriate and appall me, I will not assassinate him or her 10. I will not drink whiskey 11. I will wear clothing when in public. 12. I will check in at the SDMB most days. 13. I will enjoy every cup of coffee Next: New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56454 "2018-01-01T18:38:50Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56455 "2018-01-01T19:36:30Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56456 "2018-01-01T20:31:26Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2018, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56457 "2018-01-01T20:36:56Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56458 "2018-01-02T01:09:02Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56459 "2018-01-02T01:14:47Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) 7. This year, I’ll try a new facial expression that doesn’t make me look perpetually constipated. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56460 "2018-01-02T02:28:10Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) 7. This year, I’ll try a new facial expression that doesn’t make me look perpetually constipated. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) 8. I will try to stop being so controlling (Sauron, Lord of the Rings) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56461 "2018-01-02T04:34:51Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) 7. This year, I’ll try a new facial expression that doesn’t make me look perpetually constipated. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) 8. I will try to stop being so controlling (Sauron, Lord of the Rings) 9. I will try to remember my husband’s first name (Mrs. Mary Watson, the Sherlock Holmes stories) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56462 "2018-01-02T14:12:32Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) 7. This year, I’ll try a new facial expression that doesn’t make me look perpetually constipated. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) 8. I will try to stop being so controlling (Sauron, Lord of the Rings) 9. I will try to remember my husband’s first name (Mrs. Mary Watson, the Sherlock Holmes stories) 10. I will try to make some new, more likable friends (All the Big Bang characters, and a lotta other TV people) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56463 "2018-01-02T14:36:29Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) 7. This year, I’ll try a new facial expression that doesn’t make me look perpetually constipated. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) 8. I will try to stop being so controlling (Sauron, Lord of the Rings) 9. I will try to remember my husband’s first name (Mrs. Mary Watson, the Sherlock Holmes stories) 10. I will try to make some new, more likable friends (All the Big Bang characters, and a lotta other TV people) 11. I will strive to keep my word and think carefully before I act (Queen Cersei, Game of Thrones) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56464 "2018-01-02T14:37:32Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) 7. This year, I’ll try a new facial expression that doesn’t make me look perpetually constipated. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) 8. I will try to stop being so controlling (Sauron, Lord of the Rings) 9. I will try to remember my husband’s first name (Mrs. Mary Watson, the Sherlock Holmes stories) 10. I will try to make some new, more likable friends (All the Big Bang characters, and a lotta other TV people) 11. I will strive to keep my word and think carefully before I act (Queen Cersei, Game of Thrones) 12. I will never do business again with any business connected with ACME products whatsoever (Wile E. Coyote) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56465 "2018-01-02T15:19:19Z")
New Year’s resolutions that fictional characters should make to improve themselves 1. I will stop using ‘bitch’ as a pronoun (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad) 2. I will try to get down to an eighth of a ton. (Nero Wolfe) 3. I WILL REMEMBER EXTRA CARROTS FOR BINKY ON HOGSWATCHNIGHT (Death, Discworld novels) 4. I will try not to be quite so implacably vengeful (Magua, The Last of the Mohicans) 5. I will stop looking through Lois’s clothes with X-ray vision. Mostly. (Superman) 6. I will cut back on my consumption of cigarettes. (James Bond, in the novels) 7. This year, I’ll try a new facial expression that doesn’t make me look perpetually constipated. (Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) 8. I will try to stop being so controlling (Sauron, Lord of the Rings) 9. I will try to remember my husband’s first name (Mrs. Mary Watson, the Sherlock Holmes stories) 10. I will try to make some new, more likable friends (All the Big Bang characters, and a lotta other TV people) 11. I will strive to keep my word and think carefully before I act (Queen Cersei, Game of Thrones) 12. I will never do business again with any business connected with ACME products whatsoever (Wile E. Coyote) 13. I will really try to be a little less greedy and evil (Mr. Burns, The Simpsons) Next category: Things you hope to do in 2018 1. get a better job with a bigger salary ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2018, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56466 "2018-01-02T16:21:33Z")
Things you hope to do in 2018 1. get a better job with a bigger salary 2. Run a 10 nautical mile race in August. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2822) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2824)