# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2850
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56987 "2018-02-01T19:54:17Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56988 "2018-02-01T20:03:59Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56989 "2018-02-01T21:08:53Z")
[quote=“Prof.Pepperwinkle, post:56988, topic:549173”] Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. 7. “Shake hands with Vice President Pence and Speaker Ryan. Turn and face the Congress. Begin speech here. “ ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2018, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56990 "2018-02-01T22:07:14Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. 7. “Shake hands with Vice President Pence and Speaker Ryan. Turn and face the Congress. Begin speech here. “ 8. I am the worst candidate in the history of America, and you STILL couldn’t beat me!" ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56991 "2018-02-02T02:07:15Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. 7. “Shake hands with Vice President Pence and Speaker Ryan. Turn and face the Congress. Begin speech here. “ 8. I am the worst candidate in the history of America, and you STILL couldn’t beat me!" 9. I am very excited to announce the opening of a new Trump Tower in Jerusalem this Saturday. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56992 "2018-02-02T13:12:55Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. 7. “Shake hands with Vice President Pence and Speaker Ryan. Turn and face the Congress. Begin speech here. “ 8. I am the worst candidate in the history of America, and you STILL couldn’t beat me!" 9. I am very excited to announce the opening of a new Trump Tower in Jerusalem this Saturday. 10. I’m proud to announce “The Art of the Deal” has just overtook The Bible as biggest best seller of all time! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56993 "2018-02-02T15:49:33Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. 7. “Shake hands with Vice President Pence and Speaker Ryan. Turn and face the Congress. Begin speech here. “ 8. I am the worst candidate in the history of America, and you STILL couldn’t beat me!" 9. I am very excited to announce the opening of a new Trump Tower in Jerusalem this Saturday. 10. I’m proud to announce “The Art of the Deal” has just overtook The Bible as biggest best seller of all time! 11. I haven’t had an orthodox career, and I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it—and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2018, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56994 "2018-02-02T17:01:27Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. 7. “Shake hands with Vice President Pence and Speaker Ryan. Turn and face the Congress. Begin speech here. “ 8. I am the worst candidate in the history of America, and you STILL couldn’t beat me!" 9. I am very excited to announce the opening of a new Trump Tower in Jerusalem this Saturday. 10. I’m proud to announce “The Art of the Deal” has just overtook The Bible as biggest best seller of all time! 11. I haven’t had an orthodox career, and I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it—and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me! 12. I like clean, beautiful coal so much, I’m going to have the White House and all Federal office buildings converted to burn it. Suck on that, tree huggers! ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56995 "2018-02-03T04:03:56Z")
Cut from the first draft of the State of the Union Address 1. It has become all too clear that I am utterly incapable of serving as your President, and so tonight, on this very spot, I announce my immediate resignation. 2. Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera. 3. Go on, impeach me and make PENCE President. I triple dog DARE ya! 4. No other President has applauded himself during a State of the Union, so America, tonight I shall be the first! 5. To quote my favorite president, Andrew Jackson, “Do they think that I am such a damned fool as to think myself fit for President of the United States? No, sir; I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way, but I am not fit to be President.” 6. Oh, you may hate me. You may really hate me bigly. But the rich are getting richer, so there’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me. Bigly. 7. “Shake hands with Vice President Pence and Speaker Ryan. Turn and face the Congress. Begin speech here. “ 8. I am the worst candidate in the history of America, and you STILL couldn’t beat me!" 9. I am very excited to announce the opening of a new Trump Tower in Jerusalem this Saturday. 10. I’m proud to announce “The Art of the Deal” has just overtook The Bible as biggest best seller of all time! 11. I haven’t had an orthodox career, and I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it—and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me! 12. I like clean, beautiful coal so much, I’m going to have the White House and all Federal office buildings converted to burn it. Suck on that, tree huggers! 13. Hey! Melania! Where is she? Why’d she skip out?? New Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi Riding on the highway next to one right now ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56996 "2018-02-03T04:42:52Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56997 "2018-02-03T04:43:08Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56998 "2018-02-03T04:49:28Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/56999 "2018-02-03T04:55:43Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/57000 "2018-02-03T05:24:25Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur 6. Ford ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/57001 "2018-02-03T12:55:35Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur 6. Ford 7. GMC ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/57002 "2018-02-03T13:04:05Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur 6. Ford 7. GMC 8. Honda ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/57003 "2018-02-03T15:39:20Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur 6. Ford 7. GMC 8. Honda 9. Isuzu ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/57004 "2018-02-03T15:53:39Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur 6. Ford 7. GMC 8. Honda 9. Isuzu 10. Jag-u-ar ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/57005 "2018-02-03T17:38:22Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur 6. Ford 7. GMC 8. Honda 9. Isuzu 10. Jag-u-ar 11. Kia ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2018, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/57006 "2018-02-03T17:41:47Z")
Car manufacturers, A -M 1. Audi 2. Bentley 3. Chrysler 4. Daihatsu 5. Excalibur 6. Ford 7. GMC 8. Honda 9. Isuzu 10. Jag-u-ar 11. Kia 12. Lamborghini [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2849) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=2851)