# Bakers Dozen

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173>\
**Category:** Thread Games\
**Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2985

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59687 "2018-06-16T03:12:45Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59688 "2018-06-16T03:37:57Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said\* it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.  
\*repeatedly, all throughout our childhood

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59689 "2018-06-16T03:40:30Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said\* it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59690 "2018-06-16T03:43:13Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said\* it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59691 "2018-06-16T03:45:24Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59692 "2018-06-16T04:55:42Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59693 "2018-06-16T14:37:57Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?
11. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59694 "2018-06-16T15:22:15Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?
11. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Although I guess dung would be true for that one as well.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59695 "2018-06-16T16:24:14Z")

</div>

Best One-Liner “Dad” jokes

1. When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, “With my hands.”
2. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
3. When someone says, “Can I ask you a question?” I always reply, “You just did.”
4. My buddy bragged to his dad, “Down at college we drink beer like it was water.” Came the reply, “The only problem is it makes you drunk like it was beer.”
5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity: it’s impossible to put it down.
6. My dad never took us to Disneyland because he said it was a real Mickey Mouse outfit.
7. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies!
8. Rectum!? Damn near killed’em!!
9. Did you hear NASA decided not to put a bar in the International Space Station? Yeah, no atmosphere.
10. Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?
11. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
13. What’s blue and comely? Monica Lewinsky’s dress.

Next up: Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\
**Post date:** [June 16, 2018, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59696 "2018-06-16T23:16:39Z")

</div>

Next up: Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2018, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59697 "2018-06-17T03:44:16Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2018, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59698 "2018-06-17T04:02:18Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2018, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59699 "2018-06-17T04:13:08Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [June 17, 2018, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59700 "2018-06-17T19:58:39Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)
6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59701 "2018-06-18T03:06:33Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)
6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59702 "2018-06-18T12:57:37Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)
6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
8. Bernadette (Howard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59703 "2018-06-18T13:07:22Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard & Howard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)
6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
8. Bernadette (Howard)
9. Christie (Howard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59704 "2018-06-18T13:09:59Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)
6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
8. Bernadette (Howard)
9. Penny (Leonard)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59705 "2018-06-18T14:17:54Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)
6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
8. Bernadette (Howard)
9. Penny (Leonard)
10. Emily Sweeney (Raj)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/59706 "2018-06-18T14:38:51Z")

</div>

Finally! 13 sex partners of the main Big Bang male characters.

1. Mrs. Latham (Leonard)
2. Mrs. Amy Cooper (née Amy Farrah-Fowler) (Sheldon)
3. Penny (Raj)
4. Leslie Winkle (Leonard)
5. Robot arm (Howard)
6. Dr. Stephanie Barnett (Leonard)
7. Jeannie, his second cousin (Howard)
8. Bernadette (Howard)
9. Penny (Leonard)
10. Emily Sweeney (Raj)
11. Mrs. Wolowitz and her dentist

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