# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3036
**Author:** ![Thin\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Thin\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60707 "2018-08-08T11:50:53Z")
Sigourney Weaver movies 1. Gorillas in the Mist 2. Ghostbusters 3. Finding Dory 4. Aliens 5. Working Girl 6. Galaxy Quest 7. Dave 8. WALL-E 9. Heartbreakers 10. Copycat 11. Avatar 12. Alien ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60708 "2018-08-08T12:07:03Z")
Sigourney Weaver movies 1. Gorillas in the Mist 2. Ghostbusters 3. Finding Dory 4. Aliens 5. Working Girl 6. Galaxy Quest 7. Dave 8. WALL-E 9. Heartbreakers 10. Copycat 11. Avatar 12. Alien 13. Holes New! Jokes you have heard recently. 14. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60709 "2018-08-08T13:15:34Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60710 "2018-08-08T13:20:47Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? _AUGUST!_ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60711 "2018-08-08T14:14:27Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? _AUGUST!_ 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. OK. It wasn’t recently. I read it here years ago. But it still inappropriately cracks me up. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60712 "2018-08-08T14:26:57Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60713 "2018-08-08T19:19:02Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” ---
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60714 "2018-08-08T21:27:32Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” 7. Two vultures board a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant stops them and says, “Sorry, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2018, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60715 "2018-08-08T23:59:02Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” 7. Two vultures board a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant stops them and says, “Sorry, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 8. Don’t you hate it when you come to somebody’s place and they just can’t shut up asking you stupid questions like “What do you want?” and “Who are you?” and “Is that a real gun?” ---
**Author:** ![betterlifethroughchemistry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/betterlifethroughchemistry/32/3094_2.png) [@betterlifethroughchemistry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betterlifethroughchemistry)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60716 "2018-08-09T00:03:51Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” 7. Two vultures board a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant stops them and says, “Sorry, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 8. Don’t you hate it when you come to somebody’s place and they just can’t shut up asking you stupid questions like “What do you want?” and “Who are you?” and “Is that a real gun?” 9. My wife is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly, “We need to talk”… ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60717 "2018-08-09T03:48:55Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” 7. Two vultures board a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant stops them and says, “Sorry, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 8. Don’t you hate it when you come to somebody’s place and they just can’t shut up asking you stupid questions like “What do you want?” and “Who are you?” and “Is that a real gun?” 9. My wife is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly, “We need to talk”… 10. I just can’t get over you. So could you roll over and answer my phone? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60718 "2018-08-09T13:10:40Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” 7. Two vultures board a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant stops them and says, “Sorry, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 8. Don’t you hate it when you come to somebody’s place and they just can’t shut up asking you stupid questions like “What do you want?” and “Who are you?” and “Is that a real gun?” 9. My wife is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly, “We need to talk”… 10. I just can’t get over you. So could you roll over and answer my phone? 11. Cop stops a car weaving on the road and asks the driver “Your eyes look bloodshot. Have you been drinking alcohol?” Guy replies “Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?” ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60719 "2018-08-09T13:44:46Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” 7. Two vultures board a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant stops them and says, “Sorry, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 8. Don’t you hate it when you come to somebody’s place and they just can’t shut up asking you stupid questions like “What do you want?” and “Who are you?” and “Is that a real gun?” 9. My wife is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly, “We need to talk”… 10. I just can’t get over you. So could you roll over and answer my phone? 11. Cop stops a car weaving on the road and asks the driver “Your eyes look bloodshot. Have you been drinking alcohol?” Guy replies “Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?” 12. I once farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60720 "2018-08-09T14:56:35Z")
Jokes you have heard recently. 1. At a funeral a good friend of the deceased walked up to the widow and asked if he might say a word. She said, “Certainly”. He addressed the assembled and said, “Plethora”. The widow smiled and said, “Thank you. That means a lot.” 2. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 – lobster?” 3. It’s hot outside. And you know what else it is outside? AUGUST! 4. What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? … Christopher Walken. 5. What has a bottom at the top? A pair of legs. 6. A cop pulls over a car with four priests in it, and says, “I’m looking for a child molester.” The priests look at each other and one says, “OK, I’ll do it.” 7. Two vultures board a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant stops them and says, “Sorry, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.” 8. Don’t you hate it when you come to somebody’s place and they just can’t shut up asking you stupid questions like “What do you want?” and “Who are you?” and “Is that a real gun?” 9. My wife is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly, “We need to talk”… 10. I just can’t get over you. So could you roll over and answer my phone? 11. Cop stops a car weaving on the road and asks the driver “Your eyes look bloodshot. Have you been drinking alcohol?” Guy replies “Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?” 12. I once farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. 13. The mad scientist created a genius fish. Just before it ate him, he said, “Clever gill.” Next: Science fiction mysteries: 1. A Death in Versunna (Harry Turtledove) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60721 "2018-08-09T15:23:33Z")
Next: Science fiction mysteries: 1. A Death in Versunna (Harry Turtledove) 2. The Caves of Steel (Isaac Asimov) ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60722 "2018-08-09T15:25:39Z")
Science fiction mysteries: 1. A Death in Versunna (Harry Turtledove) 2. The Caves of Steel (Isaac Asimov) 3. Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60723 "2018-08-09T15:50:28Z")
Science fiction mysteries: 1. A Death in Versunna (Harry Turtledove) 2. The Caves of Steel (Isaac Asimov) 3. Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan) 4. Lock In (John Scalzi) Highly recommended: [Amazon.com](https://www.amazon.com/Lock-Novel-Future-John-Scalzi/dp/076538132X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1533829809&sr=1-1&keywords=lock+in+scalzi) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60724 "2018-08-09T15:52:50Z")
Science fiction mysteries: 1. A Death in Versunna (Harry Turtledove) 2. The Caves of Steel (Isaac Asimov) 3. Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan) 4. Lock In (John Scalzi) 5. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (Douglas Adams) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60725 "2018-08-09T16:12:07Z")
Science fiction mysteries: 1. A Death in Versunna (Harry Turtledove) 2. The Caves of Steel (Isaac Asimov) 3. Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan) 4. Lock In (John Scalzi) 5. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (Douglas Adams) 6. The Barbie Murders (John Varley) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/60726 "2018-08-09T17:52:45Z")
Science fiction mysteries: 1. A Death in Versunna (Harry Turtledove) 2. The Caves of Steel (Isaac Asimov) 3. Altered Carbon (Richard K Morgan) 4. Lock In (John Scalzi) 5. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency (Douglas Adams) 6. The Barbie Murders (John Varley) 7. Blade Runner (dir. Ridley Scott) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=3035) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=3037)