# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 486
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9702 "2012-02-13T05:29:25Z")
A. Lincoln legends and lore 1. Lincoln was watching the play “Our American Cousin” when assassinated 2. Lincoln grew his beard due to a letter from a young girl 3. Lincoln said upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who started this great big war!” 4. He didn’t like being called “Abe” 5. He used an Almanac to discredit a witness in a murder trial 6. As a young man, Lincoln earned money by splitting rails. 7. Lincoln’s private secretary was named Kennedy. 8. He jilted Mary Todd just before their wedding day. I don’t think there’s a record of exactly when they called off the wedding- just that they did. It was probably a few days before, but in retellings it became ‘he left her standing at the altar’. In any case, while the first time they were to marriage wasn’t exactly to be a huge event, the second engagement a year and a half later (when they actually did go through with it) was just the bride, groom, and a small room full of witnesses as a just-in-case he backed out again. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9703 "2012-02-13T14:20:38Z")
A. Lincoln legends and lore 1. Lincoln was watching the play “Our American Cousin” when assassinated 2. Lincoln grew his beard due to a letter from a young girl 3. Lincoln said upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who started this great big war!” 4. He didn’t like being called “Abe” 5. He used an Almanac to discredit a witness in a murder trial 6. As a young man, Lincoln earned money by splitting rails. 7. Lincoln’s private secretary was named Kennedy.\* 8. He jilted Mary Todd just before their wedding day. 9. He spoiled his sons rotten. - Not true, as it happens: [Are These 'Coincidences' Linking Lincoln to Kennedy Real? | Snopes.com](http://www.snopes.com/history/american/lincoln-kennedy.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9704 "2012-02-13T17:41:07Z")
A. Lincoln legends and lore 1. Lincoln was watching the play “Our American Cousin” when assassinated 2. Lincoln grew his beard due to a letter from a young girl 3. Lincoln said upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who started this great big war!” 4. He didn’t like being called “Abe” 5. He used an Almanac to discredit a witness in a murder trial 6. As a young man, Lincoln earned money by splitting rails. 7. Lincoln’s private secretary was named Kennedy.\* 8. He jilted Mary Todd just before their wedding day. 9. He spoiled his sons rotten. 10. Lincoln Logs were named after him because of his reputed birthplace and/or his parents homestead. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9705 "2012-02-13T18:36:49Z")
A. Lincoln legends and lore 1. Lincoln was watching the play “Our American Cousin” when assassinated 2. Lincoln grew his beard due to a letter from a young girl 3. Lincoln said upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who started this great big war!” 4. He didn’t like being called “Abe” 5. He used an Almanac to discredit a witness in a murder trial 6. As a young man, Lincoln earned money by splitting rails. 7. Lincoln’s private secretary was named Kennedy.\* 8. He jilted Mary Todd just before their wedding day. 9. He spoiled his sons rotten. 10. Lincoln Logs were named after him because of his reputed birthplace and/or his parents homestead. 11. It was said that he could make a cat laugh. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9706 "2012-02-13T20:48:09Z")
A. Lincoln legends and lore 1. Lincoln was watching the play “Our American Cousin” when assassinated 2. Lincoln grew his beard due to a letter from a young girl 3. Lincoln said upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who started this great big war!” 4. He didn’t like being called “Abe” 5. He used an Almanac to discredit a witness in a murder trial 6. As a young man, Lincoln earned money by splitting rails. 7. Lincoln’s private secretary was named Kennedy.\* 8. He jilted Mary Todd just before their wedding day. 9. He spoiled his sons rotten. 10. Lincoln Logs were named after him because of his reputed birthplace and/or his parents homestead. 11. It was said that he could make a cat laugh. 12. He wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope while on a train on the way to the battlefield ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9707 "2012-02-13T21:58:24Z")
A. Lincoln legends and lore 1. Lincoln was watching the play “Our American Cousin” when assassinated 2. Lincoln grew his beard due to a letter from a young girl 3. Lincoln said upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who started this great big war!” 4. He didn’t like being called “Abe” 5. He used an Almanac to discredit a witness in a murder trial 6. As a young man, Lincoln earned money by splitting rails. 7. Lincoln’s private secretary was named Kennedy.\* 8. He jilted Mary Todd just before their wedding day. 9. He spoiled his sons rotten. 10. Lincoln Logs were named after him because of his reputed birthplace and/or his parents homestead. 11. It was said that he could make a cat laugh. 12. He wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope while on a train on the way to the battlefield 13. He held his stepbrother upside down to make footsteps on the ceiling as a prank Next Up: If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9708 "2012-02-14T00:35:10Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > A. Lincoln legends and lore > > 1. Lincoln was watching the play “Our American Cousin” when assassinated > 2. Lincoln grew his beard due to a letter from a young girl > 3. Lincoln said upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, “So you’re the little lady who started this great big war!” > 4. He didn’t like being called “Abe” > 5. He used an Almanac to discredit a witness in a murder trial > 6. As a young man, Lincoln earned money by splitting rails. > 7. Lincoln’s private secretary was named Kennedy.\* > 8. He jilted Mary Todd just before their wedding day. > 9. He spoiled his sons rotten. > 10. Lincoln Logs were named after him because of his reputed birthplace and/or his parents homestead. > 11. It was said that he could make a cat laugh. > 12. He wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope while on a train on the way to the battlefield \* > 13. He held his stepbrother upside down to make footsteps on the ceiling as a prank - Also not true. If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9709 "2012-02-14T00:39:30Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9710 "2012-02-14T01:16:54Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9711 "2012-02-14T02:37:14Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9712 "2012-02-14T03:19:30Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9713 "2012-02-14T15:03:52Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” 7. CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a toy landspeeder. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9714 "2012-02-14T15:11:06Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” 7. CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a toy landspeeder. 8. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS: They would have been trying to go around the world in 80 parsecs. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9715 "2012-02-14T15:55:22Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” 7. CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a toy landspeeder. 8. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS: They would have been trying to go around the world in 80 parsecs. 9. WIZARD OF OZ: Ewoks instead of Munchkins, and Storm Troopers for [del]the Wicked Witch of the West[/del] Darth Elphaba’s guards ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9716 "2012-02-14T16:07:23Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” 7. CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a toy landspeeder. 8. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS: They would have been trying to go around the world in 80 parsecs. 9. WIZARD OF OZ: Ewoks instead of Munchkins, and Storm Troopers for [del]the Wicked Witch of the West[/del] Darth Elphaba’s guards 10. THE SOUND OF MUSIC: All songs replaced with Ewok “jub-jub” music. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9717 "2012-02-14T16:13:58Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” 7. CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a toy landspeeder. 8. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS: They would have been trying to go around the world in 80 parsecs. 9. WIZARD OF OZ: Ewoks instead of Munchkins, and Storm Troopers for [del]the Wicked Witch of the West[/del] Darth Elphaba’s guards 10. THE SOUND OF MUSIC: All songs replaced with Ewok “jub-jub” music. 11. SCHINDLER’S LIST: Now with action figures for every single scene. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9718 "2012-02-14T17:20:13Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” 7. CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a toy landspeeder. 8. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS: They would have been trying to go around the world in 80 parsecs. 9. WIZARD OF OZ: Ewoks instead of Munchkins, and Storm Troopers for the Wicked Witch of the West Darth Elphaba’s guards 10. THE SOUND OF MUSIC: All songs replaced with Ewok “jub-jub” music. 11. SCHINDLER’S LIST: Now with action figures for every single scene. 12. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA: Lawrence encounters Sand People and Jawas out there on the desert. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9719 "2012-02-14T17:29:25Z")
If George Lucas bought the rights to all of Hollywood’s famous movies, what are some ways he might edit them? 1. THE GODFATHER: McCluskey and the Turk shot first 2. CASABLANCA: Rick is given an amusing sidekick with a comical accent, Jar Jar Lorre 3. THELMA AND LOUISE: Their car is actually a X-Wing Fighter, and they cruise safely to the far side of the canyon. 4. GONE WITH THE WIND: as soon as the wagon gets past the burning trainyard there’s a major explosion and a ring of fire. 5. EXCALIBUR: Arthur has a double-bladed magical sword with which he wins his kingdom 6. BLUES BROTHERS: “I hate Illinois Sith Lords” 7. CITIZEN KANE: Rosebud is a toy landspeeder. 8. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS: They would have been trying to go around the world in 80 parsecs. 9. WIZARD OF OZ: Ewoks instead of Munchkins, and Storm Troopers for the Wicked Witch of the West Darth Elphaba’s guards 10. THE SOUND OF MUSIC: All songs replaced with Ewok “jub-jub” music. 11. SCHINDLER’S LIST: Now with action figures for every single scene. 12. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA: Lawrence encounters Sand People and Jawas out there on the desert. 13. JURASSIC PARK: The T-Rex is brought down by a herd of Ewoks. Next: Inappropriate Valentine’s Day gifts. 1. VD. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9720 "2012-02-14T17:40:18Z")
Next: Inappropriate Valentine’s Day gifts. 1. VD. 2. Coupon for free DNA testing. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/9721 "2012-02-14T18:15:10Z")
Inappropriate Valentine’s Day gifts. 1. VD. 2. Coupon for free DNA testing. 3. For your wife, a card and flowers addressed to your mistress. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=485) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=487)