# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 557
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11122 "2012-06-07T20:33:59Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11123 "2012-06-07T20:39:32Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11124 "2012-06-07T20:39:47Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) ---
**Author:** ![Blkshp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blkshp/32/7135_2.png) [@Blkshp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blkshp)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11125 "2012-06-07T21:25:59Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11126 "2012-06-07T21:35:53Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). 7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11127 "2012-06-07T22:00:56Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). 7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin 8. Learn to drive cars. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11128 "2012-06-07T22:07:24Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). 7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin 8. Learn to drive cars. 9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11129 "2012-06-07T22:09:44Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). 7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin 8. Learn to drive cars. 9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters 10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11130 "2012-06-07T22:44:59Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). 7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin 8. Learn to drive cars. 9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters 10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist 11. steal our credit cards to buy more toys and nip over the internet ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11131 "2012-06-07T22:55:01Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). 7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin 8. Learn to drive cars. 9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters 10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist 11. steal our credit cards to buy more toys and nip over the internet 12. Use a microphone to be even louder during sex ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11132 "2012-06-07T23:07:58Z")
Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs 1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it 2. Go in and out the door without bothering you 3. Take over the world! 4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course. 5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.) 6. Shoot the dog(s). 7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin 8. Learn to drive cars. 9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters 10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist 11. steal our credit cards to buy more toys and nip over the internet 12. Use a microphone to be even louder during sex 13. Buy video cameras and produce kitty porn to post on MewTube Next: The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11133 "2012-06-07T23:18:13Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman Long overdue for a major feature film ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11134 "2012-06-07T23:25:04Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. [Captain Nice](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Nice) Why not? They’re digging up everything else form the 60s. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2012, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11135 "2012-06-07T23:26:58Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. Captain Nice 4. Sandman (Morpheus, not Wesley Dodd-even tho technically he isn’t a superhero) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11136 "2012-06-08T00:19:04Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. Captain Nice 4. Sandman 5. The Comedian A prequel, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11137 "2012-06-08T01:39:15Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. Captain Nice 4. Sandman 5. The Comedian 6. The Elementals A great comic book series that I don’t think has received the attention it deserves ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11138 "2012-06-08T06:47:08Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. Captain Nice 4. Sandman 5. The Comedian 6. The Elementals 7. Aquaman The right movie might make him cool, and James Cameron could make it as a sequel to both _Titanic_ and _The Abyss_. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11139 "2012-06-08T06:52:54Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. Captain Nice 4. Sandman 5. The Comedian 6. The Elementals 7. Aquaman 8. Spaceman Spiff Just keep Jim Carry and anyone else ever involved in a Seuss remake far, far away. I’m thinking maybe Pixar? No, wait–Terry Gilliam! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11140 "2012-06-08T08:21:32Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. Captain Nice 4. Sandman 5. The Comedian 6. The Elementals 7. Aquaman 8. Spaceman Spiff 9. Nexus Science fiction and super heroics ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/11141 "2012-06-08T09:21:29Z")
The next superhero who should have his or her own movie 1. Dr. Strange 2. Wonder Woman 3. Captain Nice 4. Sandman 5. The Comedian 6. The Elementals 7. Aquaman 8. Spaceman Spiff 9. Nexus 10. Herbie the Fat Fury Obviously, a cult film. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=556) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=558)