# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 681
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13602 "2012-12-05T03:42:28Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13603 "2012-12-05T03:59:35Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13604 "2012-12-05T04:14:23Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13605 "2012-12-05T04:30:10Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13606 "2012-12-05T05:05:18Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13607 "2012-12-05T05:51:15Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13608 "2012-12-05T10:24:30Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) 7. “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” (Scientist builds machine to translate what dogs are saying.) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13609 "2012-12-05T10:35:21Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) 7. “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” (Scientist builds machine to translate what dogs are saying.) 8. The Holsteins visit the Grand Canyon. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13610 "2012-12-05T12:03:01Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) 7. “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” (Scientist builds machine to translate what dogs are saying.) 8. The Holsteins visit the Grand Canyon. 9. **What the owner says:** “Spot, bad dog, Spot! No, Spot! What were you thinking of, Spot?” \*\*What the dog hears: \*\*“SPOT _blah blah_ SPOT _blah_ SPOT _blah blah blah blah blah_ SPOT” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13611 "2012-12-05T16:02:58Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) 7. “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” (Scientist builds machine to translate what dogs are saying.) 8. The Holsteins visit the Grand Canyon. 9. **What the owner says:** “Spot, bad dog, Spot! No, Spot! What were you thinking of, Spot?” \*\*What the dog hears: \*\*“SPOT _blah blah_ SPOT _blah_ SPOT _blah blah blah blah blah_ SPOT” 10. Cow tools I actually thought that one was funny. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13612 "2012-12-05T17:02:57Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) 7. “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” (Scientist builds machine to translate what dogs are saying.) 8. The Holsteins visit the Grand Canyon. 9. **What the owner says:** “Spot, bad dog, Spot! No, Spot! What were you thinking of, Spot?” \*\*What the dog hears: \*\*“SPOT _blah blah_ SPOT _blah_ SPOT _blah blah blah blah blah_ SPOT” 10. Cow tools 11. (wide-eyed, shocked cows watching a cowboy sitting by a fire, who’s heating a LARGE branding iron; instead of a small icon it says) “ **THIS HERE COW BELONGS TO BILLY JOE JIM BOB** ” _(or something like that)_ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13613 "2012-12-05T17:11:16Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) 7. “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” (Scientist builds machine to translate what dogs are saying.) 8. The Holsteins visit the Grand Canyon. 9. **What the owner says:** “Spot, bad dog, Spot! No, Spot! What were you thinking of, Spot?” \*\*What the dog hears: \*\*“SPOT _blah blah_ SPOT _blah_ SPOT _blah blah blah blah blah_ SPOT” 10. Cow tools 11. (wide-eyed, shocked cows watching a cowboy sitting by a fire, who’s heating a LARGE branding iron; instead of a small icon it says) “ **THIS HERE COW BELONGS TO BILLY JOE JIM BOB** ” _(or something like that)_ 12. “Oh, goodness Gladys, I couldn’t! I just ate my young an hour ago.” (Cat-bespectacled preying mantis being offered goodies by her similarly adorned host.) ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13614 "2012-12-05T17:27:38Z")
Far Side captions (From memory; paraphrases allowed.) 1. Egads Simmons! We’ve found it! The secret elephant playground! 2. Cows standing on 2 legs by side of road, then one yells, “Car!” They then get down on all fours. 3. The real reason dinosaurs became extinct. [Cartoon shows three dinosaurs smoking cigarettes.] 4. Boneless Chicken Farm 5. (Einstein in the background, chalkboard has E=mc¹ crossed out, E=mc³ crossed out; lady dusting his desk) “Everything is squared away, yessir, squaaaaaared away!” 6. “Oh pleez oh pleez oh PLEEZ…” (cartoon shows cat inspecting dryer with sign reading “CAT FUD,” while dog watches from hiding) 7. “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” “HEY!” (Scientist builds machine to translate what dogs are saying.) 8. The Holsteins visit the Grand Canyon. 9. **What the owner says:** “Spot, bad dog, Spot! No, Spot! What were you thinking of, Spot?” \*\*What the dog hears: \*\*“SPOT _blah blah_ SPOT _blah_ SPOT _blah blah blah blah blah_ SPOT” 10. Cow tools 11. (wide-eyed, shocked cows watching a cowboy sitting by a fire, who’s heating a LARGE branding iron; instead of a small icon it says) “ **THIS HERE COW BELONGS TO BILLY JOE JIM BOB** ” _(or something like that)_ 12. “Oh, goodness Gladys, I couldn’t! I just ate my young an hour ago.” (Cat-bespectacled preying mantis being offered goodies by her similarly adorned host.) 13. “I’m sorry, Mr. Farnsworth: You’ve got cows.” I’ll pass the next one. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13615 "2012-12-05T20:18:41Z")
Favorite Christmas Songs 1. Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13616 "2012-12-05T20:32:44Z")
Favorite Christmas Songs 1. Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland 2. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13617 "2012-12-05T22:41:49Z")
Favorite Christmas Songs 1. Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland 2. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) 3. Carol of the Bells ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13618 "2012-12-05T23:32:03Z")
Favorite Christmas Songs 1. Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland 2. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) 3. Carol of the Bells 4. Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13619 "2012-12-05T23:34:42Z")
Favorite Christmas Songs 1. Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland 2. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) 3. Carol of the Bells 4. Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses 5. Elf’s Lament- Barenaked Ladies ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13620 "2012-12-06T00:01:47Z")
Favorite Christmas Songs 1. Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland 2. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) 3. Carol of the Bells 4. Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses 5. Elf’s Lament- Barenaked Ladies 6. Tomorrow Shall Be My Dancing Day (A little obscure, true.) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13621 "2012-12-06T00:17:19Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > 1. Carol of the Bells Are you familiar with [this version](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDiXPx2OqPI)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=680) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=682)