# Bakers Dozen **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173 "2010-08-04T17:56:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 686
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13702 "2012-12-12T03:24:11Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13703 "2012-12-12T04:39:02Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13704 "2012-12-12T05:11:38Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth. 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. 7. Lose her in the mob, Bob. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13705 "2012-12-12T08:21:17Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth. 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. 7. Lose her in the mob, Bob. 8. Sell her for a penny, Jenny. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13706 "2012-12-12T14:00:43Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth. 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. 7. Lose her in the mob, Bob. 8. Sell her for a penny, Jenny. 9. Take a rocket to Mars, Lars. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13707 "2012-12-12T15:09:10Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth. 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. 7. Lose her in the mob, Bob. 8. Sell her for a penny, Jenny. 9. Take a rocket to Mars, Lars. 10. Jump on a plane, Shane. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13708 "2012-12-12T15:48:12Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth. 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. 7. Lose her in the mob, Bob. 8. Sell her for a penny, Jenny. 9. Take a rocket to Mars, Lars. 10. Jump on a plane, Shane. 11. Have sex with her sister, Mister. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13709 "2012-12-12T15:53:16Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth. 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. 7. Lose her in the mob, Bob. 8. Sell her for a penny, Jenny. 9. Take a rocket to Mars, Lars. 10. Jump on a plane, Shane. 11. Have sex with her sister, Mister. 12. Shoot her in the head, Fred. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13710 "2012-12-12T16:12:15Z")
There Must be 13 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Just fake your own death, Seth. 2. Drive off in the Ram, Sam. 3. Just move to France, Lance. 4. Ride out the Storm, Norm. 5. Just tell her you’re gay, Ray. 6. Join a monastery, Jerry. 7. Lose her in the mob, Bob. 8. Sell her for a penny, Jenny. 9. Take a rocket to Mars, Lars. 10. Jump on a plane, Shane. 11. Have sex with her sister, Mister. 12. Shoot her in the head, Fred. 13. Slip her some cyanide, Clyde. I’ll pass. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13711 "2012-12-12T16:31:36Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13712 "2012-12-12T16:45:32Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13713 "2012-12-12T18:13:58Z")
[ou’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13714 "2012-12-12T18:26:55Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the [Winter Classic.](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/story/2012/11/02/sp-nhl-lockout-winter-classic.html) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13715 "2012-12-12T18:37:01Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the [Winter Classic.](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/story/2012/11/02/sp-nhl-lockout-winter-classic.html) 5. Buffalo Bills playoff tickets ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13716 "2012-12-12T19:38:09Z")
]You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the [Winter Classic.](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/story/2012/11/02/sp-nhl-lockout-winter-classic.html) 5. Buffalo Bills playoff tickets 6. “Nick Gilder’s Greatest Hits” on 8 track ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13717 "2012-12-12T20:02:11Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the [Winter Classic.](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/story/2012/11/02/sp-nhl-lockout-winter-classic.html) 5. Buffalo Bills playoff tickets 6. “Nick Gilder’s Greatest Hits” on 8 track 7. Obama ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13718 "2012-12-12T22:03:04Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the [Winter Classic.](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/story/2012/11/02/sp-nhl-lockout-winter-classic.html) 5. Buffalo Bills playoff tickets 6. “Nick Gilder’s Greatest Hits” on 8 track 7. Obama 8. A well-wrapped, sexily dressed member of the gender opposite your sexual preference Goddammit, Santa. I asked for Emma Stone and you gave me Brad Pitt? You bastard. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13719 "2012-12-12T22:39:20Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the [Winter Classic.](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/story/2012/11/02/sp-nhl-lockout-winter-classic.html) 5. Buffalo Bills playoff tickets 6. “Nick Gilder’s Greatest Hits” on 8 track 7. Obama 8. A well-wrapped, sexily dressed member of the gender opposite your sexual preference 9. The All-New Richard Gere Habitrail Kit ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13720 "2012-12-12T23:05:48Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the Winter Classic. 5. Buffalo Bills playoff tickets 6. “Nick Gilder’s Greatest Hits” on 8 track 7. Obama 8. A well-wrapped, sexily dressed member of the gender opposite your sexual preference 9. The All-New Richard Gere Habitrail Kit 10. Not just a lump of coal, but a lung cancer diagnosis ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2012, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173/13721 "2012-12-13T02:04:54Z")
You’ve been a very bad boy/girl this year. What does Santa leave under your tree? 1. Jerry Sandusky 2. The Romney Administration 3. A gift card for Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant 4. A pair of tickets to the Winter Classic. 5. Buffalo Bills playoff tickets 6. “Nick Gilder’s Greatest Hits” on 8 track 7. Obama 8. A well-wrapped, sexily dressed member of the gender opposite your sexual preference 9. The All-New Richard Gere Habitrail Kit 10. Not just a lump of coal, but a lung cancer diagnosis 11. Doom, Despair, and two Boxes of Agony. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=685) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bakers-dozen/549173.md?page=687)