# bald, or not

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 2, 2000, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339 "2000-02-02T01:58:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![TJM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@TJM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJM)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339/1 "2000-02-02T01:58:00Z")

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How many hairs must a man have on his head in order not to be called bald?

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**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339/2 "2000-02-02T02:00:00Z")

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Two. Homer Simpson doesn’t call himself bald.

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**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339/3 "2000-02-02T03:02:00Z")

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All of them, of course.

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**Author:** ![Guy\_Incognito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guy_incognito/32/3920_2.png) [@Guy\_Incognito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339/4 "2000-02-02T03:38:00Z")

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To quote Reid Fleming, world’s toughest milkman:

“I’m not bald! I get my hair cut this way!”

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“It’s only common sense,  
There are no accidents 'round here.”

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**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339/5 "2000-02-02T04:30:00Z")

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“The answer my friend  
Is blowing in the wind.  
The answer is blowing in the wind.”

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Mr. K’s Link of the Month:

What is John Kricfalusi (“Ren and Stimpy”) doing these days?

[The Goddamn George Liquor Program](http://www.spumco.com/entertainment/webcartoon.html)

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**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339/6 "2000-02-02T05:07:00Z")

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To quote my husband:

“I’m not bald…these are thigh-burns!”

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A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.  
—Zsa Zsa Gabor

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**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\
**Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bald-or-not/13339/7 "2000-02-02T05:14:00Z")

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Baldness is measured less by the hair that remains on your head and more by the hair that appears around the shower drain.

If you have to toe aside hair during a shower to get the drain accepting water, you are going bald.

When you don’t have to do that anymore, the process is complete. You are bald.

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Livin’ on Tums, vitamin E and Rogaine