# Ball shaving acident **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049 "2001-08-13T15:46:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/1 "2001-08-13T15:46:36Z")
I went for a nice long run Friday. Rather than take a shower immediately afterward as is my habit, I worked outside for a while. Then I came in and ate dinner. Then we watched TV and I drank a bunch of beer. Around Midnight I get ready to go to sleep. I’m feeling sexy, but when I’m in the bathroom getting ready for bed, I take off my shorts and… **OHMYGODMYBALLSSTINKYYSWEAT!!!** ::gag gag:: Yes, it was fair to say my balls smelled rancid. And can I blame them? After all, they’d been fermenting in my copious crotch sweat for the last five or six hours. As a point of info, I’ll also add that I have particularly potent and foul smelling sweat in general. Sufficiently aged, and it’s unbleievably nasty. So I stood there, reeking and ashamed, and sought desperately for a solution. I focussed ont the fact that things had gotten pretty hairy down there, and the hair was kind of long. “All that hair must trap moisture, contributing to the growth of rancid bacteria” I said to my reflection. “Why don’t you just give yourself a trim?” My reflection suggested. So I got the Norelco out of the draw and fired her up and opened the trimmer attachment and got to work. On my first pass though, I got pretty close and in order to make things even I basically ended up shaving my whole crotch area. It looks pretty silly, and my wife laughed at me. I mean hairy legs, hairy stomach, hairy ass, hairy sides, and a bald avenger. Now it itches. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/2 "2001-08-13T15:52:39Z")
Repeat after me: “Talk to Mrs Scylla BEFORE making any beer-based decisions.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/3 "2001-08-13T15:55:34Z")
I opened this thread with my heart in my mouth, thinking you were breaking the news of thinksnow’s untimely demise. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/4 "2001-08-13T15:57:03Z")
Soap and water didn’t occur to you?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/5 "2001-08-13T15:57:09Z")
I read the title and only one thought passed my mind… **ouch!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/6 "2001-08-13T15:59:19Z")
Ya got lucky pal. Using an electric on the twins is a risky endevour. A beard trimmer with guard installed would be fine for a trim, but using the Norelco for a bollocky-bare look is just nuts. Too many folds and wrinkles. And let me tell you, nothing hurts quite so much as a scrotal slice (don’t ask me how I know, just accept the fact and move on). ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/7 "2001-08-13T16:02:38Z")
Nice way to start off the day: read a thread about crotchfunk. I’m sorry, I realize that others shave down there, but I’m of the firm belief that anything with a sharp edge does _not_ belong anywhere near that region. Just reading the OP made me cross my legs. I think it’s nuts to shave your nuts. 🙂 That said, I’d second **Zebra** and advise a shower in the future. Does wonders for getting rid of the funk, and it doesn’t lead to itchy crotches afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/8 "2001-08-13T16:05:46Z")
Better stock up on the baby powdery for your runs, my man. Trust me. Hair lubricates, don’tcha’know. I’ll second the clippers w/guard, too. A Norelco is just a dicey move, but then again, you are the risk taker! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/9 "2001-08-13T16:06:19Z")
I was wondering where we’d go after the bathroom threads ummm, petered out . . . ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/10 "2001-08-13T16:11:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*I opened this thread with my heart in my mouth, thinking you were breaking the news of thinksnow’s untimely demise. \*\* Bwahahaahaaahaaa! Yeah, I kept wondering about that too. I thought, “Uh-oh, someone pulled a **ts** and decided to go Kojak on the boys and had an accident.” BTW, if someone cut themselves bad enough to go to the ER, what kind of story would they come up with to tell the nurse? ---
**Author:** ![berdollos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@berdollos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/berdollos)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/11 "2001-08-13T16:16:48Z")
was use an antibacterial lotion. ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/12 "2001-08-13T16:17:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\* > > BTW, if someone cut themselves bad enough to go to the ER, what kind of story would they come up with to tell the nurse? \*\* You could always tell the doc you got chewing gum down there, and was forced to shave all the hair off. Course, that could lead to even more confusion, as to why you had chewing gum in your crotch… ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/13 "2001-08-13T16:22:25Z")
Hoo, boy. Is this ever an instance of TMI. My sympathies on your testicular misery, but–did we **really** have to hear all about it? The bit about the stench of your privates was particularly enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/14 "2001-08-13T16:23:15Z")
I’ve got a whole BUNCH of puns that involve the words “nuts”, “ball”, “peter” etc that would work here. But I believe that using them would be beneath me. So, I’ll just put them all back in the sac. BA-Dum-Bum tshhhhh \ What? Whaa-aat?! ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/15 "2001-08-13T16:26:15Z")
If **Scylla** thinks the boys itch now, just wait a couple of days (Bwah-hah-hah). The only thing (nad-related) that I can think if worse than ball-itch is ball-sunburn. I spent way too much time in an over-chlorinated hot tub out in La Jolla back in '96 and ended up with a chemical sunburn on the privates. Then the peeling began (shudder). I still remember being at work talkng to my boss, shaking my leg, and realizing that I left a pile of ball-skin on his rug. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/16 "2001-08-13T16:42:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pcubed \* > **scrotal slice** BAND NAME!! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/17 "2001-08-13T16:47:13Z")
“Ball shaving accident”? How could a just God allow this to happen? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/18 "2001-08-13T16:48:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by pcubed \* > > **scrotal slice** > > BAND NAME!! \*\* …or soft drink, you make the call. “With a name like _scrotal slice_, it must be good jam.” ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/19 "2001-08-13T17:04:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*pcubed \*\* > The only thing (nad-related) that I can think if worse than ball-itch is ball-sunburn _Amen, brother!_ So as not to hijack the honorable **Scylla** s thread, I’ll leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2001, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049/20 "2001-08-13T17:14:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pcubed \* > BAND NAME!! > > …or soft drink, you make the call. > > “With a name like _scrotal slice_, it must be good jam.” So that’s what the “Pocari” in _Pocari Sweat_ means. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ball-shaving-acident/76049.md?page=2)