# Ban straight marriage NOW **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 26, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895 "2009-03-26T18:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/1 "2009-03-26T18:42:39Z")
Everyone who hates gays should be pushing hard for gay marriage. We used to joke that every tax return since we got married has been lower than the ones we got when we were living in sin (true, but we didn’t really care), but now I’m fucking pissed. My wife and I got married 4 years ago. My friend, who has been living with his girlfriend Liz roughly the same length of time my wife and I have, has not gotten married. We both bought houses around the same time. We both worked in the mortgage industry and both of us have lost our jobs. Both of our houses have dropped over 65% in value. Both of us have chosen foreclosure as a last resort, after much planning, consulting, negotiating, etc. A few days ago he was at my house having lunch and he asked where we were going to move to after the foreclosure. I told him we’d ideally like to stay nearby, but we might not be able to afford it. I asked if they were planning to rent a house or an apartment. He stared at me, confused, for a few seconds, and then blinked and said, “we’re buying a house in Liz’s name.” :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/2 "2009-03-26T18:54:30Z")
I’m wondering how their filing status alone would allow them to do that. Does you wife and his GF have similar jobs? Did you save the same amounts? Did you invest equally? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/3 "2009-03-26T19:02:16Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > I’m wondering how their filing status alone would allow them to do that. I don’t understand. > [@spooje](#): > > Does you wife and his GF have similar jobs? No, why? > [@spooje](#): > > Did you save the same amounts? No, we saved a lot more. > [@spooje](#): > > Did you invest equally? No, we’ve lost most of the investments we haven’t had to spend, while they just never invested. It’s a very Goofus/Gallant situation with Goofus reaping all the rewards. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/4 "2009-03-26T19:09:16Z")
Fine by me. After all, the latest social studies have conclusively proved that marriage is the #1 cause of divorce. A theory that I can certainly vouch for – twice. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/5 "2009-03-26T19:28:55Z")
Was your friend’s house only in his name? That may be why, Liz’s credit is just fine and she doesn’t have the ding of a foreclosure on it. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/6 "2009-03-26T19:33:14Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I don’t understand. You imply that the\* only \*difference between you and them is your tax filing status for the previous 4 years. I can’t see that it would make that much of a difference. I suspect that some other, more signifigant things are in play here. But I could wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/7 "2009-03-26T19:36:16Z")
> [@Caffeine.addict](#): > > Was your friend’s house only in his name? That may be why, Liz’s credit is just fine and she doesn’t have the ding of a foreclosure on it. Ummm, yeah, I know. That’s the point. And actually our loan is only in my wife’s name for reasons that made sense at the time - making the situations even more similar. It’s just that my wife’s foreclosure will fuck my credit because we’re married. My friend’s foreclosure won’t touch Liz’s credit because they’re not. We have to rent for the next god knows how many years but probably 7 while house prices creep back up, while they get to grab up one of these homes they’re practically giving away around here right now. By the time we’re able to buy, I’m sure they’ll be ready to sell the house they buy now for at least twice what they paid for it. Hell, probably more. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/8 "2009-03-26T19:38:20Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > You imply that the\* only \*difference between you and them is your tax filing status for the previous 4 years. > I can’t see that it would make that much of a difference. I suspect that some other, more signifigant things are in play here. But I could wrong. Quit being cryptic. What are you talking about? Arizona is a [community property state](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_property), meaning that our marriage is in fact the only difference that matters here. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/9 "2009-03-26T19:41:06Z")
I can’t wait to hear **Rand Rover’s** commentary on this one. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/10 "2009-03-26T19:43:18Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Ummm, yeah, I know. That’s the point. And actually our loan is only in my wife’s name for reasons that made sense at the time - making the situations even more similar. It’s just that my wife’s foreclosure will fuck my credit because we’re married. My friend’s foreclosure won’t touch Liz’s credit because they’re not. We have to rent for the next god knows how many years but probably 7 while house prices creep back up, while they get to grab up one of these homes they’re practically giving away around here right now. By the time we’re able to buy, I’m sure they’ll be ready to sell the house they buy now for at least twice what they paid for it. Hell, probably more. In your case, who was on the deed? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/11 "2009-03-26T19:46:12Z")
If the loan is in only your wife’s name, why does the foreclosure affect your credit at all? I don’t see how the community property angle changes this. Honest question, not baiting here. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/12 "2009-03-26T19:50:47Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > If the loan is in only your wife’s name, why does the foreclosure affect your credit at all? I don’t see how the community property angle changes this. Honest question, not baiting here. It’s just how it works in Arizona. I don’t know why, besides “it’s a community property state” is the answer you’re going to get if you ask a professional. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/13 "2009-03-26T20:08:12Z")
From what I can tell, under community property laws, the spouse is still liable for debts incurred by the other spouse. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/14 "2009-03-26T20:09:17Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > It’s just how it works in Arizona. I don’t know why, besides “it’s a community property state” is the answer you’re going to get if you ask a professional. No it isn’t. Whether or not you live in a community property state has nothing to do with your credit. Your wife’s credit is still wholly separate from yours, and your pending foreclosure won’t affect it. That is, unless you added your name to the mortgage after you got married, which you didn’t have to do. ETA: This is because homesteads are exempt from community property liability rules, not because of general community property rules. If your car is being repo’d, both of you will suffer the credit consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/15 "2009-03-26T20:17:54Z")
I take all that back, because I got it backwards. You have joint control over a homestead, so her foreclosure _will_ affect you. If it was a rental property or a car in her name only it wouldn’t. Apologies. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/16 "2009-03-26T20:22:33Z")
I think that a married couple buying a house could probably avoid this problem by taking the deed as husband and wife, but putting the note in the name of the husband only (or the wife only). ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/17 "2009-03-26T20:25:45Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > I think that a married couple buying a house could probably avoid this problem by taking the deed as husband and wife, but putting the note in the name of the husband only (or the wife only). The note _is_ only in the wife’s name. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/18 "2009-03-26T21:08:02Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The note _is_ only in the wife’s name. I see. It’s surprising to me to learn that one spouse’s default can affect the other spouse’s credit. None of my spouse’s shenanigans have ended up on my credit report. Maybe my state is different. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/19 "2009-03-26T21:08:18Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > You have joint control over a homestead, so her foreclosure _will_ affect you. If it was a rental property or a car in her name only it wouldn’t. Does joint control also mean that the unmarried couple will both be affected by their foreclosure? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895/20 "2009-03-26T21:12:34Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > I see. It’s surprising to me to learn that one spouse’s default can affect the other spouse’s credit. None of my spouse’s shenanigans have ended up on my credit report. Maybe my state is different. That’s the difference between a community property state and a non-CP state, as discussed above. > [@Furious\_Marmot](#): > > Does joint control also mean that the unmarried couple will both be affected by their foreclosure? No, unless Arizona recognizes common-law marriage. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ban-straight-marriage-now/490895.md?page=2)