# Bananas: the new target for thieves **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308 "2006-07-13T07:51:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/1 "2006-07-13T07:51:36Z")
I saw this sign in a shop window last night. It may be slightly tongue in cheek, but then again: > [@](#): > > **NO BANANAS KEPT > ON PREMISES > OVERNIGHT** Such signs used to warn would-be thieves that there was no cash, or no cigarettes, on the premises. But apparently there’s been a banana-related crime wave (now there’s a phrase I didn’t think I’d ever write) since [Cyclone Larry wiped out most of the Australian banana crop](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=363731&highlight=cyclone+larry). Bananas, it appears, have become the luxury good of choice among discerning burglars and I’ve even seen the phrase “banana rustling” being used in newspaper articles. Isn’t life odd? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/2 "2006-07-13T12:53:27Z")
The Monkey Ninjas have _returned!!!_ Please excuse me whilst I dash off: Doc Savage must be warned!! 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/3 "2006-07-13T13:03:31Z")
_“…after all, I’m paying you 50,000 bananas for this role! …and all I’m getting is $500,000 \.”_ Amazement and respect for anyone who names the source for _that_ reference. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/4 "2006-07-13T13:11:22Z")
It’s bound to be the very next phase! ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/5 "2006-07-13T16:17:23Z")
Hahah, but why didn’t they grab the chance to have a sign saying “Yes, we have no bananas”? 🙂 (Plenty of banans chéz Celyn. Munchy Munchy. Plenty bloody annoying fruit flies too, though. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/6 "2006-07-13T16:32:57Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] _“…after all, I’m paying you 50,000 bananas for this role! …and all I’m getting is $500,000 \.”_ Amazement and respect for anyone who names the source for _that_ reference. [/QUOTE] Sounds Hudsuckerish. You know, for the kids. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/7 "2006-07-13T17:04:24Z")
A) Kirk Cameron uses bananas to argue for intelligent design. B) Most of Australia’s bananas have been taken away. I don’t know about you, but this seems to me pretty ironclad proof that: C) God hates Australia. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/8 "2006-07-13T17:04:54Z")
[QUOTE=Celyn] Hahah, but why didn’t they grab the chance to have a sign saying “Yes, we have no bananas”? 🙂 (Plenty of banans chéz Celyn. Munchy Munchy. Plenty bloody annoying fruit flies too, though. [/QUOTE] \ > [@](#): > > There’s a fruit store on our street > It’s run by a Greek. > And he keeps good things to eat > But you should hear him speak! > > When you ask him anything, he never answers “no”. > He just "yes"es you to death, > And as he takes your dough, he tells you… > > "Yes! We have no bananas > We have no bananas today!! > We have string beans and onions, cabBAges and scallions > And all kinds of fruit and say > We have an old fashioned toMAHto > A Long Island poTAHto, but > > Yes! We have no bananas > We have no bananas today!" > **~~~©Frank Silver and Irving Cohn (1923)** ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/9 "2006-07-13T17:21:12Z")
_Psssst!_ \ \ “_Hey! You!_” \ \ “_Hey!_” \ “_Wanna buy a banana?_” ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/10 "2006-07-13T17:55:07Z")
This reminds me of the police blotter section in the local newspaper a couple of weeks ago. There were two separate instances. In one, a couple of teenagers climbed through the window of a parked ice cream truck and removed a pair of shorts containing $900. In the other, a house burglar stole items including cash, jewelry, and a pair of shorts. I think it’s the same thief, disguising his real intended target (shorts) by pretending to be interested in money and jewelry. (Seriously, though, who leaves 900 bucks in a pair of shorts inside an ice cream truck?) ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/11 "2006-07-13T18:32:27Z")
Cute Aussie checkout girl to male customer: “Are you really happy to see me, or are you trying to steal a banana?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/12 "2006-07-13T19:31:02Z")
And the male customer’s response: “I think you have a certain appeel.” ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/13 "2006-07-13T19:35:02Z")
> [@me](#): > > Cute Aussie checkout girl to male customer: “Are you really happy to see me, or are you trying to steal a banana?” :D[/qupte] > > [QUOTE=Spatial Rift 47] > And the male customer’s response: “I think you have a certain appeel.” Google Ad is for Humor Writing Workshops. Think they’re trying to tell us something? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/14 "2006-07-13T19:36:21Z")
Yeah. That we should be making mucho bananas for our jokes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/15 "2006-07-13T19:44:31Z")
A couple of years ago at the Grand Central Farmers Market, an abrupt, humorless lady asked the barely-English-speaking owner of a fruit stand, “You have no bananas today?” to which she got the serious reply, “Yes, we have no bananas.” I was the only one who laughed. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/16 "2006-07-14T03:22:55Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] _“…after all, I’m paying you 50,000 bananas for this role! …and all I’m getting is $500,000 \.”_ Amazement and respect for anyone who names the source for _that_ reference. [/QUOTE] A Don Martin cartoon, wasn’t it? Something about gorillas? I have the book somewhere at home, but don’t remember the exact title off-hand… ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/17 "2006-07-14T15:25:34Z")
[QUOTE=MacSpon] A Don Martin cartoon, wasn’t it? Something about gorillas? I have the book somewhere at home, but don’t remember the exact title off-hand… [/QUOTE] Much respect out to **MacSpon** – yes, it was a Don Martin cartoon entitled _Star Spangled Banana_, about a gorilla making his way from the Broadway stage to an illustrious film career. My brain retains crap like this, but I can’t remember crucial details from the tech meeting we had yesterday. Sigh… ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/18 "2006-07-14T15:45:13Z")
When I was an infant in Spain many years ago gypsies broke into our house and stole my baby food and bananas, thats it nothing else. I knew right then it was the beginning of a massive crime wave, but no listened! Finally, vindication! ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bananas-the-new-target-for-thieves/364308/19 "2006-07-14T15:58:44Z")
Do I get to reuse my banana smuggler joke?