# Band names that should be but ain't **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 27, 2000, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673 "2000-10-27T23:09:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scratch1300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@scratch1300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch1300)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/21 "2000-10-28T14:15:31Z")
Oh, and the most bizarre _real_ band name I’ve ever encountered was that of a Phoenix punk group: **The Very Idea Of Fucking Hitler**. _Not_ making this up!!! ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/22 "2000-10-28T14:36:21Z")
The best band name currently around here is the Damn Rathers. We also used to be the home of Baby Shit Brown. I was briefly the lead guitarist of Cat’s Ass. I also once sat in with The Frog-Eating Bats. My next band, if it ever forms, will be called the Love Ewes. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/23 "2000-10-28T16:45:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Carina42 \* > \*\* > \*Deep Banana Blackout > \*\* Yea, Deep Banana Blackout! I think they’re from Burlington, are they not? Friend of a friend is in a local band called Chainsaws & Children. Amusing… ---
**Author:** ![BigGiantHead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b4bc9f/32.png) [@BigGiantHead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigGiantHead)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/24 "2000-10-28T17:09:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Carina42 \* > … I’ve always thought “Squirrel Nut Zippers” was a great band name, too. Just before I moved out of The Deep South a few months ago, I discovered the source of this name: a little box of individually-wrapped confections, on the counter of a homey service station, identified its contents as “Nut Zippers,” apparently made by the Squirrel brand company (based out of -surprise!- one of the Carolinas, like the band themselves). They looked a little like the old Mary Jane nut chews I recall from my northerly childhood. Anyone else remember those? As regards the OP, two friends and I once had a plan to form **Three Sweaty Mechanics Named Dave** , a perfectly eponymous name at the time. We even had the title for our first album: “Subcritical in the Source Range.” Anyone else who’s ever been nuclear-trained by the USN will find this appropriately hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![scratch1300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@scratch1300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch1300)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/25 "2000-10-28T17:46:04Z")
Just because **BigGiantHead** reminded me of **Big Head Todd** …looking, it seems any SDMB user name would be a great band name! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Pinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dr.Pinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Pinky)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/26 "2000-10-28T18:56:11Z")
Rotting Mongrel Hordes with their classic “I Wanna Nuke the Whales” (w/ BSE on the electric 2X4) ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/27 "2000-10-28T19:28:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BigGiantHead \* > **[ They looked a little like the old Mary Jane nut chews I recall from my northerly childhood. Anyone else remember those?** I’m surprised you don’t remember Squirell candy from your northerly childhood. They had them in Boston, anyway. They couldn’t hold a candle to Mary Janes, though. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/28 "2000-10-28T19:47:47Z")
Currently short a bassist and a drum set (although one of us could play the drums, if we had them, and another is learning bass guitar but doesn’t OWN one to practice and play on), my hopefully-future-band will be **Uppity Womenfolk**. Coming up with band names is a pastime of mine; myself and the rest of the future UW want to get a band together and change our name every night and play a different type of music every night. As UW we’d play Dixie Chicks-influenced alt-leaning country, but with additional part-time members who can’t be part of UW (because they’re Menfolk, not Womenfolk) and styles ranging from Country Hardcore to Heavy Metal, we’ve considered the following: \*\*\* Mississippi Riot - Arlo Guthrie Killed My Dad - Better Than You - Big Jim And The Chicken Gizzards - Uncle Johnny’s Prostate - Electric Bugaloo - Twist Of Fate - Hamsters Of Darkness\*\* If I could find the list of names I suggested to our would-be drummer’s boyfriend when he was naming HIS band, I’d post it. It was long, but quite amusing. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/29 "2000-10-28T19:51:37Z")
Oh yes; my high school has two main bands, one in the senior class and one in the junior class. I forget the senior band’s name (it sounds like Jumanji or Jambalaya or something), but the juniors are **Chinese Finger Cuffs**. CFC’s been together since middle school (so I’ve been told; I’m a senior and don’t know any of the members) but they switch drummers a lot and every drummer brings a different sound and a different name. They’ve been CFC for more than a year and a half though, and they play “industrial ska-metal” according to the band themselves. They put out a CD last year on their own label (that is, one of them had a CD burner and they found microphones…). One of their previous incarnations was **Fat Ass Steve**. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/30 "2000-10-28T21:57:19Z")
A lot of potential band names pop up on these boards. Usually without the intent, even. The most brilliant one that I ever saw happened in a pit thread about Republicans. I give you: **SHINY GAY REPUBLICAN** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/31 "2000-10-28T22:05:34Z")
Thought of a good potential name…“Freestanding Volcanic Dykes.” It was a title of a photoin National Geographic, or something…but it does have a ring to it. Unless you’re a shiny gay republican instead. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/32 "2000-10-29T00:30:28Z")
More: •the Pantywreckers (real one… coupla my pals) •Patty Hearst & the SLAs •the Negative Vibe Merchants (also real) •the Syphilitics (my first band ever) •the Schlitz •the Damn Dirty Apes •Nideo Homo •Wretched Union of Souls (real) •the Trigger Fingers •the Playboy Kings •the Mojo Hands •the Texas Chainsaw Catheter •the Clap I could do this for hours… got about 10 pages of lists from previous attempts to come up with a name… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/33 "2000-10-29T00:44:35Z")
Howzabout some punk names: Testicular Constriction The Complete Bastards Painful Rectal Itch (actually the name of a jam on the old SNL) ---
**Author:** ![Malarky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Malarky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malarky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/34 "2000-10-29T01:47:19Z")
Bowie’s Balls! Bowie’s Balls! ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Armageddon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Mister\_Armageddon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Armageddon)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/35 "2000-10-29T07:58:16Z")
There’s one I’ve always liked, and I have no idea why. I saw it in a book once: Screaming Monkey Stick ---
**Author:** ![nevermore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@nevermore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevermore)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/36 "2000-10-29T11:21:16Z")
I think **Ass Monkey** ’s got a nice ring to it. and, for some reason, **Slack**. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/37 "2000-10-29T20:25:14Z")
How about: “The Refrigerated Speculums” ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/38 "2000-10-29T20:34:20Z")
\>\>“The Refrigerated Speculums” \<\< bbrrrrrrrrrrrrr! ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/39 "2000-10-30T20:11:44Z")
Real one: Smuggling Yo-Yos. See the Camel-Toe thread if you don’t know what this means (too lazy to look it up). ---
**Author:** ![LMacG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@LMacG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LMacG)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673/40 "2000-10-30T20:13:01Z")
For years I have wanted to have a band and call it “Trucks on Wedges” with [this](http://members.aol.com/rmoeuradot/200x200/warn/W7-1.gif) as the logo. And proving I’ve been spending too much time at work lately, just the other day I was thinking that “The Double Slash Comments” would be a good band name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-names-that-should-be-but-aint/38673.md?page=3)