# Band of Assholes -- who's in yours?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [December 6, 2019, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476 "2019-12-06T18:17:44Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/1 "2019-12-06T18:17:44Z")
The thread about putting your favorite musicians together in a band got me to thinking about a discussion during a night of drinking back in college, where we attempted to put together a band with the biggest asshole we could think of on each instrument. The idea was that the band would instantly implode due to ego conflicts.
If memory serves correctly, the lineup we came up with was:
Lead guitar - Frank Zappa
Rhythm guitar - John Lennon
Bass - Roger Waters
Keyboards - Tony Banks (of Genesis)
Drums - Don Henley
I don’t think we picked a vocalist since most of the band could handle that as well.
So, who’s in your Band of Assholes?
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### Author:  [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/2 "2019-12-06T18:29:59Z")
I was thinking about something similar just yesterday. Robbie Robertson probably needs a spot.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/3 "2019-12-06T18:40:16Z")
Tenor sax: Stan Getz
Alto sax: Art Pepper
Drummer: Buddy Rich
Bass: Jaco Pastorius
Trumpet: Chet Baker
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### Author:  [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/4 "2019-12-06T18:43:20Z")
Axl Rose on lead vocals?
Maybe pick a Gallagher brother - better yet, **BOTH**
Wasn’t Ginger Baker a notorious asshole?
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/5 "2019-12-06T18:58:48Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> Drummer: Buddy Rich
A letter, addressed “To the world’s greatest drummer”, arrives at the home of Louie Bellson. He takes one look at it, and says, “well, this is obviously not for me”, and forwards it to Gene Krupa. Krupa also takes one look at it, and also says, “well, this is obviously not for me”, and he forwards it as well.
The letter makes the rounds of famous drummers’ homes, until it finally winds up at the home of Buddy Rich. He takes one look at it, and says, “well, this is obviously for me”, rips it open, and reads:
“Dear Ringo…”
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### Author:  [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/6 "2019-12-06T19:05:04Z")
Ted Nugent and John Lennon.
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### Author:  [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/7 "2019-12-06T19:12:42Z")
You already get a head start if you go with Steely Dan. Everything I’ve read indicates that Becker and Fagin were the only ones who could stand each other, and sometimes not even each other. (Becker’s widow and Fagin are currently suing each other). Everyone else quit to join the Doobie Brothers or Toto.
Bonus: Chevy Chase, who played drums in an earlier band with Becker and Fagin, is also famously an asshole.
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### Author:  [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/8 "2019-12-06T19:14:53Z")
Need Fred Durst on vocals.
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/9 "2019-12-06T19:17:34Z")
A horn player who had been playing with Buddy Rich for many years came back from vacation to hear a rumour that Buddy had died. He didn’t quite believe it, so he phoned Buddy’s wife and said “Can I speak to Buddy please?” Buddy’s wife said, “I’m sorry, Buddy passed away last week.” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, and hung up.
A couple of hours later, he called her again. “Is Buddy there please?” “No, I’m sorry. Buddy’s no longer with us,” said Buddy’s wife. And hung up the phone. Ten minuted later, he called Buddy’s wife again. “Can I speak to Buddy please?” he said. She recognised his voice, and said: “Look, I’ve told you before, BUDDY’S DEAD!” And slammed down the phone.
Two minutes later, and the phone rang again… “Is Buddy at home please?” the horn player asked. Buddy’s wife was furious. “I’m not going to tell you again, Buddy is dead… D. E. A. D. DEAD. Why do you keep ringing me to ask for Buddy!!!” He thought for a moment, and said: “I just love hearing you say it.”
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### Author:  [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/10 "2019-12-06T19:20:14Z")
> [@kayaker](#):
>
> A letter, addressed “To the world’s greatest drummer”, arrives at the home of Louie Bellson. He takes one look at it, and says, “well, this is obviously not for me”, and forwards it to Gene Krupa. Krupa also takes one look at it, and also says, “well, this is obviously not for me”, and he forwards it as well.
>
> The letter makes the rounds of famous drummers’ homes, until it finally winds up at the home of Buddy Rich. He takes one look at it, and says, “well, this is obviously for me”, rips it open, and reads:
>
> “Dear Ringo…”
I am printing that off immediately and sharing it with a drummer at work!
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### Author:  [@WreckingCrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WreckingCrew)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/11 "2019-12-06T19:33:04Z")
Doesn’t Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young already hold his title? I have often thought of Graham Nash as the most patient man in rock and roll.
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### Author:  [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/12 "2019-12-06T19:38:14Z")
> [@Labtrash](#):
>
> Axl Rose on lead vocals?
>
> Maybe pick a Gallagher brother - better yet, **BOTH**
>
> Wasn’t Ginger Baker a notorious asshole?
Jack Bruce and Ginger Baker were both notorious assholes. There’s 2/3 of a band right there!
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### Author:  [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/13 "2019-12-06T20:36:59Z")
> [@Labtrash](#):
>
> Maybe pick a Gallagher brother - better yet, **BOTH**
My first thought.
Ike Turner: guitar and keyboards.
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### Author:  [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/14 "2019-12-06T20:40:32Z")
Whoever ends up in the final line-up, we have to have Phil Spector produce them and Allen Klein be their manager.
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### Author:  [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/15 "2019-12-06T21:00:38Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#):
>
> Whoever ends up in the final line-up, we have to have Phil Spector produce them and Allen Klein be their manager.
Not [Lou Pearlman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lou_Pearlman)?
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### Author:  [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/16 "2019-12-06T21:04:12Z")
Lou Reed must be on lead vocals and rhythm guitar. Maybe add him to **Shoeless** ’ band of assholes. But no way this band plays without Lou, and he will make the rest of the band his bitches in no time.
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### Author:  [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/17 "2019-12-06T22:30:56Z")
> [@WreckingCrew](#):
>
> Doesn’t Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young already hold his title? I have often thought of Graham Nash as the most patient man in rock and roll.
I would think David Crosby could be a one-man-band of assholes.
He and Stills wrote two of the assholiest songs ever: Triad and Love The One You’re With.
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### Author:  [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/18 "2019-12-06T22:55:14Z")
Paul Simon
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### Author:  [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2019, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/19 "2019-12-06T23:01:42Z")
Well, this is not the new HBO series that the thread title implied.
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### Author:  [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)
#### Post date: [December 7, 2019, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/band-of-assholes-whos-in-yours/844476/20 "2019-12-07T00:05:09Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#):
>
> Whoever ends up in the final line-up, we have to have Phil Spector produce them and Allen Klein be their manager.
Actually we’ve have to swap out [Stan Polley of Badfinger infamy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Polley) as manager and make [Morris Levy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_Levy) the label owner. Although to be honest, the list of managers who aren’t sleazy/corrupt/incompetent is pretty small.
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