Movie stars, miserly hermits, bookies…
quote:
What kind of individual “doesn’t normally come into banks”?
Civil War vets, spazzes, Jeffrey Skilling, dogs…
Coldfire-what the HELL were you thinking? Dammit, you’re in trouble, young man!
When I first glanced at the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be a rant along the lines of “I don’t normally go into my friendly neighborhood bank, but today I had to, and I must say that the staff weren’t helpful to me at all! They expected me to know all the little banking procedures! What’s up with that?”
However, I have to agree that the profile as described is a clumsy way to warn against the Al-Qaeda terrorists.
Oh, y’know… the undead, famous musicians, the Queen and assorted members of her family, little talking babies that have a personal wealth estimated at $1 billion, etc.
Survivalists, Bill Gates, people who live in primitive tribes in the Amazon rainforest, vampires…
…clowns, mermaids, unicorns (visible or otherwise), cartoon characters, human torches, evil dictators, talking animals, wizards and so on.
…homosexual New Democratic freaks - no, that’s not true, I use the bank from time to time…
To nitpick vampires often use banks. They need them to keep their vast wealth acumulated over many human lifetimes somewhere after all. On the other hand zombies and ghouls are too low class to use a bank. To combat that threat banks should make everyone entering have some salty crackers. Take that you damn terrorist necromancers and your unholy zombie servants!
Ever since I signed up for on-line banking, I don’t normally go into banks, so watch out for me!
…monks, superheroes, servicemen on active duty overseas, JeffB…
So, we now know who are these suspect people “who normally don’t come into banks”
…Yog-Sothoth, people named ‘Flexoral’, the late Vincent Price, ducks…
Ducks?? 
Oh, and superheroes do so go into banks: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker etc, in their ‘normal Joe’ identities, have to save and spend money just like the rest of us, one would presume.
But yeah, that is a silly way to profile would-be bombers.
–Nenya, who only sometimes goes into banks, and never in New York City
The prime suspect, then, for a terrorist attack against the BBQ Pit, based on the profile of people who don’t normally come in here, is Cecil Adams.
…midgets over six feet tall, fictional literary characters, Jesus Christ, foreign heads of state, elves and faeries, pirates, Mesopotamians, monks who’ve taken vows of poverty, mole men…
…muppets, Sumerian nobles, men dressed as sheep, Wile E. Coyote, aliens from Area 51, graduates of Miskatonic University, silverback mountain gorillas, Lord Crumb, The Beatles…
…Ivan Renko, Sidd Finch, the Donner Party, Whigs…
… roundheads, cavaliers, crusaders, gilded age presidents, Mark Twain, enchanted furniture, deep blue…
I saw an MEBuckner op in the pit and dived right in hoping for another gem like the Kathleen Parker rant. I got a soda, and a towel for when I spit it all over the place laughing at the idiocy reveled in graphic terms by the rant. I made popcorn and everything. I feel so let down.
Whenever I need cheering up I have a copy of that Parker post saved for theraputic use. I am usually in a better mood within 30 seconds and thinking of my co-workers as having a “throbbing pustule for a brain”
Hey, c’mon. Kathleen Paker really, really pissed me off. I was just sort of mildly peeved over this.