# Bare Naked Tits w. Erect Nipples, Legs, Abortion, Penis Beer, Guns, and Coldy Bashing **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 25, 2001, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114 "2001-06-25T19:51:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/81 "2001-06-27T16:15:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hometownboy \* > _Ahem_ > > It seems only natural that the perfect thread would have a nifty [external link](http://www.davidallancoe.com/lyrics/younever.htm) to the lyrics of the David Allan Coe song “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” including the recitation about how the final verse is the perfect country and western song. Enjoy. That may be, but a truly perfect thread would have enough Chicagocentrism to have a post pointing out that the song was written by the late, great Steve Goodman. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/82 "2001-06-27T17:38:46Z")
Ummmm… [getting on pulpit] Have all of you accepted Jesus as your own personal savior… 'cause if not I can go one for 10-20 pages at least about song lyrics, the dangers of flirting, and how you are all sad beings for not being as cool as I am. [getting off pulpit] You also need one of these: [--------------------] [] [IRISH SPRING] [] [\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_] ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/83 "2001-06-27T17:44:36Z")
(smacking my head) It’s a box darnit D’oh (any good thread needs a Simpson’s reference.) ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/84 "2001-06-27T17:52:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by purplebear \* > \*\*(_)(\*) Notice the DDD size and the erect nips? Oh, sorry, was that TMI? \ > \*\* Never TMI, never gratuitous, always welcome. 😃 [sub]but that “innocent look” ain’t foolin US, honey…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/85 "2001-06-27T18:07:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BunnyGirl \* > \*\*Hey, isn’t that discrimination? What about those of us who are, shall we say, a handful? \*\* Terribly sorry. Here, let me see if I can make it… _better_. 😃 Handfuls are very nice, too. Just wanted to make sure the the “big breast” crowd didn’t leave anyone out. “A” and smaller are also welcome! Breasts in general are welcome! The more, the merrier! 😃 Oh, and more beer! [sub]Can we have some erect nipple beer or gun beer?[/sub] :::Looks around::: **Hey!** _WHERE ARE THE LEGS_?? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/86 "2001-06-27T18:10:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*To clarify, they should be BIG naked tits. \*\* Or not. Little perkies are just fine, too. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/87 "2001-06-27T18:18:02Z")
I’d like to point out that I have NOT received emails with pics of boobies yet! and I thank you for your support… or lack thereof. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/88 "2001-06-27T18:44:41Z")
**GrizzRich** , I would send you pictures of my bare naked breasts with erect nipples, but the photo-developing place tells me that they always come out ‘over-exposed’ and that I should try again. **Tranquilis** - I have legs. Long, smooth, well-toned, shapely legs. They start at my hips and stretch all the way down to the floor, ending in perfectly polished toenails - making a detour through my 3" heeled mules. **Coldfire** bashing - I don’t think I have anything bad to say about him… how about this, though: **Neil Peart is a big turnip! Geddy Lee sucks his toes!** ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/89 "2001-06-27T19:11:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > **Long, smooth, well-toned, shapely legs…** Woo HOOooo…! _ **NOW** _ we’re talking perfection! 😃 Roll baby, roll! Roll on, Perfect Thread! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/90 "2001-06-27T21:44:12Z")
I can take it all. Har-dee-fuckin’-har, The Netherlands are twice as big as Joisey. Big friggin’ deal. Woohoo, Rush sucks ass! And then some! As if I care. I mean, REALLY. But… but… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by woolly \* > **Johan Cruyff was a broken down nobody who couldn’t play football for sour apples** See you in the motherlovin’ Pit, pal. That’s like saying George Washington had pubic lice and masturbated to charcoal drawings of limping donkeys with diarhea. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/91 "2001-06-28T00:14:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jmonster \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Hometownboy \* > > _Ahem_ > > > > It seems only natural that the perfect thread would have a nifty [external link](http://www.davidallancoe.com/lyrics/younever.htm) to the lyrics of the David Allan Coe song “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” including the recitation about how the final verse is the perfect country and western song. Enjoy. > > That may be, but a truly perfect thread would have enough Chicagocentrism to have a post pointing out that the song was written by the late, great Steve Goodman. \*\* ::gulps in self-abnegation:: **OH…MY…GOD** did I ever blow that one! Particularly when it says right there in the middle of the freakin’ recitation that it was written by Steve Goodman. **jmonster** you are dead on right, and I bow before you. Um, I suppose, you know, that an ultimate thread would have someone getting totally nailed on an error and apologizing thoroughly, throwing himself on the mercy of the assembled Dopers [sub]I’m so ashamed[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/92 "2001-06-28T00:54:52Z")
NOW it’s the perfect thread. ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/93 "2001-06-28T07:59:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*I do believe we’ve forgotten the gratuitous homosexual flirting. Could we have some gratuitious homosexual flirting, please? > > Thank you. > > Esprix \*\* I personally am not drunk enough for that yet…you can try asking me again later, though. You will note, however, that I did issue a call for _lesbianism_ in general, which certainly includes, but is not limited to, flirting. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/94 "2001-06-28T12:08:56Z")
:sits down at the keyboard–nekkid and contemplates her large breasts and thinks "I don’t think it’s that unusal to have natural 40DD breasts. They may be tan, firm and proud but amazing and perfect? I don’t know about that. All I know is that they are hot, I think I may have sunburned them just a little at the same time I set my ass on fire: :takes an ice cube in each hand and runs them over her perfect pierced nipples until they are wicked hard enough to cut glass, mmmmmm that’s better: :slowly crosses and uncrosses her well-toned legs occassionally revealing a glimpse of her fresh Brazilian treated pubic area: :thinks how much her husband’s shotgun reminds her of some of the dopers–they are always long and hard, well oiled, ready for action, smell so sexy and feel so good in your hand: :silently curses Coldfire—Damn him he never notices me, Doesn’t he know how f\*\*king sexy he is? Doesn’t he know how hot it makes me just to see his name on screen? What is is he blind? What do I have to do to make him notice me? (sobbing)Damn him Damn him straight to heck: :decides to forgo the penis beer and instead has a Dicken’s Cider. Thinking you know the slogan really is true, you really _do_ feel better once you’ve had your Dicken’s cider. I think I like hot Dicken’s Cider best of all. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/95 "2001-06-28T22:08:53Z")
There should be a dog riding a tricycle and wearing some funny Groucho Marx glasses. Those are silly! ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/96 "2001-06-30T04:32:57Z")
::Bump:: ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/97 "2001-06-30T05:20:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > **Coldfire** bashing - I don’t think I have anything bad to say about him… how about this, though: > > **Neil Peart is a big turnip! Geddy Lee sucks his toes!** Who the hell is Neil Peart? [sub]Oh, wait, he’s probably one of those _Rush_ people.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/98 "2001-06-30T05:29:46Z")
Yeah. Geddy Lee, Neal Peart, Alex Lifeson. Rush. Best thing to come out of Canada musically in a long time. Then came The Tragically Hip. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114/99 "2001-06-30T05:52:01Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > [@](#): > > Who the hell is Neil Peart? > > [sub]Oh, wait, he’s probably one of those _Rush_ people.[/sub] \*\* He’s only the world’s best drummer. 🙂 [sub] No that’s not a suckup to Coldy. He IS the best drummer. [/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bare-naked-tits-w-erect-nipples-legs-abortion-penis-beer-guns-and-coldy-bashing/70114.md?page=4)