# Baring your soul:question for anyone in a relationship? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135 "2011-12-23T00:29:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/1 "2011-12-23T00:29:34Z")
Just out of curiosity…would you say that your SO knows you inside and out? ---
**Author:** ![Theophane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@Theophane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theophane)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/2 "2011-12-23T02:19:48Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Just out of curiosity…would you say that your SO knows you inside and out? Not yet, but she is a quick study. 😃 We’ve only been dating for a few months. ---
**Author:** ![emmaliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emmaliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emmaliminal)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/3 "2011-12-23T02:33:14Z")
Married almost ten years ( :eek: ) and I’d say my husband knows me 95%. Remaining 5% is composed of things he won’t ever really understand because they’re too incidentally different from him (girl stuff, what it’s really like to have a sibling as he’s an only child, what it’s like to shrug off guilt trips family tries to lay on you, as he is susceptible and I’m just not, etc.); things he won’t ever really understand because he doesn’t want to (some girl stuff, some health stuff – mostly to do with how bodies work, I’d say); some stuff I’ve never told him about, because it’s too different to how I am now, or too boring, or too embarrassing, etc. I expect he feels similarly about me, but am not sure (maybe that’s more of the five percent). I think he knows most of my strong points and weak points, most of what I’m proud of or embarrassed by. We’re starting to anticipate each other’s bad puns. They’re almost funnier with the added fun of poking fun at each other for being predictable, and more loving. ---
**Author:** ![Comicenbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Comicenbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Comicenbe)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/4 "2011-12-23T02:55:33Z")
Yes, pretty much. More than anyone else I’ve ever known. ---
**Author:** ![Tracyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@Tracyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracyfish)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/5 "2011-12-23T03:51:59Z")
Yes. My husband is very versed in girl-speak. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/6 "2011-12-23T04:14:43Z")
Together for 7 years, married for 3 and a smidge now. I’d say we’re up to about the 80% range. I’m pretty confident that you could give him a test about what I would say regarding life, morals, and generalities, and he’d do pretty damn well. He’s also quite honest, so if he didn’t know, he wouldn’t BS - he’d just admit that he wasn’t sure. Same with me for him, but I’m more likely to try to BS (I would call it extrapolating) his opinions on areas I’m not totally sure about where he stands. We do occasionally each produce something that evinces the “WTF did \*\*\*that \*\*\*come from” response, but we’re getting pretty good at knowing all the basics. That last 20% is hopefully going to be a nice long comfortable process. We’re not in any hurry, and as long as we have all the important stuff down for each of us, the little bits in between are fun discoveries and lead to interesting personable and “real” conversations to intersperse between the normal day to day “how was work today, what do you want for dinner, yadda yadda…” that makes life all boring. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/7 "2011-12-23T04:46:01Z")
Married 20+ years. Hardly worth starting a sentence anymore since he can finish it for me. Not that he does - he knows me well enough to listen when I ramble and gets the same courtesy in return. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/8 "2011-12-23T05:20:32Z")
After 24+ years, we probably know each other better than we know ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/9 "2011-12-23T05:23:24Z")
Language and cultural differences between us persist even after almost 20 years. This means we don’t know each other as well as other couples probably do. This way it doesn’t get boring, lots of learning still to do. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Villanova\_Junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/4da419/32.png) [@Villanova\_Junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Villanova_Junction)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/10 "2011-12-23T05:24:37Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Just out of curiosity…would you say that your SO knows you inside and out? That’s impossible to happen. Egos are peculiar situations dependent on particular brain physiological states. No person “knows” or could ever “know” anyone else. What you’re asking is whether emotional experiences can be shared with someone else. The answer is no. Some times we get close with our SOs, but, in general, no. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/11 "2011-12-23T06:47:28Z")
I’m going to go for 99%. My husband occassionally does things, or expresses opinions/thoughts, that surprise me, and I’m sure I do the same for him. Together 15 years. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/12 "2011-12-23T07:07:17Z")
Yes, my SO knows me very well, better than anyone else, and he still likes me. This means a lot. We started out as friends about 17 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/13 "2011-12-23T12:15:19Z")
Not yet, but then we’ve only been dating for a little over a month. Ask again in 10 years and I might have a different answer. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/14 "2011-12-23T12:22:18Z")
25th anniversary coming up this year. I’d say she knows me better than I know myself by this time. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/15 "2011-12-23T15:27:17Z")
Married almost ten years. Together almost 17. I’d say he knows me 80%. I know him probably 95%. I’m not a real “open” person, he is. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/16 "2011-12-23T15:35:56Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Just out of curiosity…would you say that your SO knows you inside and out? Oh, ghods, yes. SWMBO has gotten to the point where she can read my mind. Woman terrifies me these days. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/17 "2011-12-23T17:14:23Z")
No - together 16 years, married for 12, I remain A Man Of Mystery! She still has to ask me what I want from KFC, even though I always get exactly the same thing… ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/18 "2011-12-23T17:41:04Z")
Interesting. So the majority say yes. When I was in relationships my SO’s would only get 85% of me, the other 15% remained hidden unless I really trusted them. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Medlo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hi\_Medlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Medlo)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/19 "2011-12-23T17:52:07Z")
Once, when I was being prepped for surgery, the doctor told my wife “In this state, if you ask him any question he will tell you the truth.” She said “There are things about him I don’t want to know.” So yeah, she knows me very, very well. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/20 "2011-12-23T22:32:59Z")
I know my SO better than he knows me. We’ve known each other forever, but were apart for much of our adult lives. His fantasies about me were much more unrealistic than mine were about him, so I can predict his behavior a lot more accurately. It’s difficult sometimes–he’s still coming to terms with the Real Me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135.md?page=2)