# Baring your soul:question for anyone in a relationship? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 23, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135 "2011-12-23T00:29:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/21 "2011-12-23T23:17:29Z")
I’ve been married for 17 years, with the same guy for 22. One of the many things we have in common in a distinct distaste for any “baring your soul” sort of thing. We know an awful lot about each other but that is more because we both have a great appreciation for the well-told anecdote than any particular need to spill our guts. We do often know what the other will say and we are very good at knowing what will make the other laugh. I think we each have a reservoir of likes/dislikes/interests/activities that we really don’t share with the other because we know the other won’t get it/care. He definitely still surprises me sometimes and vice versa, I think. Not too long ago we were watching a movie where a recently divorced character got all moony about a book because “it was her favorite…” I thought, “are you supposed to know that?” “Hey, honey, what’s your favorite book?” “Duh, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!” rolls eyes. “Oh, cool! Me too!” ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/22 "2011-12-24T08:20:16Z")
Married 30 plus years, so far. I have to say No! A resounding No. But he actually knows me better than I know myself. He’s the only person on earth who gives me what I want, not necessarily what I need. But he knows I need it. And when I say, “Remember who…?” Or, “Remember the place…?” he’s the only one I have left who does. And that’s close enough. ---
**Author:** ![diggerwam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/23 "2011-12-24T11:54:14Z")
Been together almost 20 years. She may know 90% but I think she only understands maybe 75%. Unless you lived my life, motivations are hard to dig into. She knows the what, not as much of the why. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just reality. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/24 "2011-12-25T01:35:53Z")
Oh hell no. He knows me better than anyone else and I’ve never lied to him, but there is no way in hell I am ever going to spill my guts to him or anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/25 "2011-12-26T04:07:01Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Oh hell no. He knows me better than anyone else and I’ve never lied to him, but there is no way in hell I am ever going to spill my guts to him or anyone else. Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/26 "2011-12-26T04:15:28Z")
Fairly well yes. I keep a few things hidden from the rest of the world, including my man, but he knows me pretty well. We are going on 8 months though so OBVIOUSLY we still have a lot to learn. Neither of us have gone through any devastating life trauma, so we don’t know eachother in that regard. We haven’t had any real arguments yet, and only a couple moments of hurt feelings, so we haven’t seen eachother’s nasty sides and seen if we can live with them. Neither of us have been under financial hardship since we met, so we don’t know what we’d be like in that case. There’s a lot of stuff we have yet to experience together, but I think we know eachother pretty well 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/27 "2011-12-26T04:23:47Z")
Pretty damn well. We’ve been friends for 6 years, close friends for about 18 months, dating for a little over 1 year. There are still new things for us to learn about each other, but I think he ‘gets’ my views, my personality, and my outlook on life like nobody else. He’s seen the best and the worst of me. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/28 "2011-12-26T04:56:44Z")
After 42 years, I guess she knows me about half the time. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/29 "2011-12-26T04:58:19Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > After 42 years, I guess she knows me about half the time. LOL:). ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/30 "2011-12-26T04:59:34Z")
You guys are blessed, I’m still waiting to be connected to my other half… ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135/31 "2011-12-26T07:46:59Z")
40%, but she’s convinced she knows me 98% [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/baring-your-soul-question-for-anyone-in-a-relationship/607135.md?page=1)