# Barney Miller **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 8, 2014, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621 "2014-07-08T09:16:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/101 "2014-07-10T11:23:19Z")
Still, too bad they couldn’t make the storylines outside the squad room work, the way Taxi had been able to do. Then you’d have Barney Miller and Andy Griffin as these two very similar yet very different shows. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/102 "2014-07-10T15:56:50Z")
I used to love watching this show with my father. During the opening credits, he’d jump up and point out the building where he worked. My favorite character was Dietrich. Once he was taking a lie detector test which Wojo had failed. The first question was “Where were you born?” Dietrich answered, “It happened such a long, long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away.” I also really thought the nasty Internal Affairs guy who came around occasionally was hilarious. He boasted to Miller that he had the respect of “every hooker and deviant between here and Times Square” and asked if Barney could say the same. (No.) ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/103 "2014-07-10T17:15:56Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > The voice analyzer episode was great. IA Inspector Scanlon shows up with a voice analyzer to grill the squad in a witch hunt for corruption. The machine beeps quietly in the background as the detectives are questioned. > > Examiner: Your real name is? > > Dietrich: Arthur P. Deitrich. > > Examiner: And the P stands for? > > Dietrich: I was never told. > > Examiner: Where were you born sergeant? > > Dietrich: It’s hard to remember. It was long, long ago. In a galaxy far, far away. > > _voice analyzer doesn’t miss a beat_ Then there was the fellow who claimed to be from the future - and who was thrilled to met “Arthur Dietrich… Arthur P. Dietrich - **the** Arthur P. Dietrich.” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/104 "2014-07-10T17:35:35Z")
Just remembered the little Latina detective who wasn’t around very long. She kept wondering why her peg continually moved to the top of the board. Turned out a certain uniformed officer was the culprit because he felt shortchanged. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/105 "2014-07-10T19:05:58Z")
After reading this thread yesterday, I found the “Brownies” episode on YouTube. I watched half and had to go to work. When I got home, the episode had been removed for copyright issues, so I can’t (easily) watch the rest. I wonder if increased traffic as a result of this thread had anything to do with removal. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/106 "2014-07-10T19:09:52Z")
> [@Mr.Greenjeans](#): > > After reading this thread yesterday, I found the “Brownies” episode on YouTube. I watched half and had to go to work. When I got home, the episode had been removed for copyright issues, so I can’t (easily) watch the rest. > > I wonder if increased traffic as a result of this thread had anything to do with removal. I also watched half of it due to this thread! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/107 "2014-07-11T01:09:21Z")
During the hash brownies episode: Barney (to an obviously high Harris): “Why don’t you go home and come back when you’re feeling better”. Harris: “I’ll go home, Barn, but I ain’t never gonna feel no better”. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/108 "2014-07-11T01:12:01Z")
Yemana: “Barney, Barney, Barney, is your mother from Killarney?” mmm ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/109 "2014-07-11T03:34:37Z")
Yemana is sitting with his feet up on the desk reading the newspaper (racing form?) Barney: Don’t you have anything better to do? Yemana: No. Barney: What about all these reports that need to be filed? Yemana: You said better, not different. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/110 "2014-07-11T03:49:45Z")
Does anyone else remember the episode when an older woman attempts to deface a painting in a local art gallery? It’s the nude portrait of a beautiful young woman, and the older woman says such a thing shouldn’t be displayed in a public place. Her sense of propriety is offended. What Barney eventually figures out is that the young woman in the painting **IS** the older woman, who is now embarrassed that she ever posed naked. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/111 "2014-07-11T04:46:35Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Does anyone else remember the episode when an older woman attempts to deface a painting in a local art gallery? Sure, and her negotiation with the painting’s owner to pay for it. Her: Twenty dollars. Him: Fifteen hundred. Her: [slight pause] Twenty-_one_ dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/112 "2014-07-11T11:56:53Z")
I thought the theme song was Bob James (who wrote the Taxi theme) but it wasn’t a James song. There were slightly different versions each season. And, just for fun, [here are all the versions.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II71tmVsKrE) Edited to add: It’s missing the little trill at the end (I think it may have been the signature tone for Viacom). Does anyone know what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/113 "2014-07-11T13:33:26Z")
Dietrich to Yemana: “Don’t you ever long to return home the land of your people?” Yemana: “I’m from Omaha” ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/114 "2014-07-11T14:26:04Z")
Harris was once annoyed with Dietrich for telling a woman who called for him that Harris was in the bathroom. “You ruined the illusion!” (Pause) “Sorry, I thought she knew.” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/115 "2014-07-11T14:32:30Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > During the hash brownies episode: > > Barney (to an obviously high Harris): “Why don’t you go home and come back when you’re feeling better”. > > Harris: “I’ll go home, Barn, but I ain’t never gonna feel no better”. Fish: First time in years I felt this good and it has to be illegal!" ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/116 "2014-07-11T14:35:12Z")
> [@Dr.Righteous](#): > > I just saw the one where the gay uniformed cop was accidentally outed by Wojo and everyone jumped to defend him And he ended up with a promotion downtown. The implication being that someone very high up, and closeted, rewarded him for his bravery. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/117 "2014-07-11T14:43:19Z")
“Do the boys downtown know you’re gay?” Pause “I was refering to the police department.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/118 "2014-07-11T15:04:59Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Edited to add: It’s missing the little trill at the end (I think it may have been the signature tone for Viacom). Does anyone know what I mean? I doubt Viacom ever had anything to do with this ABC production. I believe the tag is for [Four D Productions](http://www.imdb.com/company/co0058211/). [YouTube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Zd6He-ZXF4) ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/119 "2014-07-11T15:20:21Z")
Barney Miller trivia. Most of the later, permanent cast members first appeared as criminal characters. Dietrich was a fake priest selling bibles. Several of the criminal characters appeared more than once; sometimes as the same character, sometimes not. “Barney, Barney, Barney…is your mother from Killarney?” ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621/120 "2014-07-11T15:26:00Z")
I always loved this show. I remember how depressing it was that it ended. Every now and then I’ll catch an episode. I’ll have to check it out on whatever channel it was that was mentioned in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-miller/692621.md?page=7)