# Barney vs. H.R. Puff'n'stuff- the annual poll

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 13, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791 "2001-03-13T12:28:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\
**Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/1 "2001-03-13T12:28:40Z")

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Ok, I try to do this more or less once a year, in whatever environment I’m in. I usually poll my co-workers, but since I just started a new job, I’m a bit reluctant to do it at work, lest they think I’m too weird.

The question is,

In a gloves-off, knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred fight, who would win; Barney or H.R. Puff’n’stuff?

How 'bout it, Dopers?

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**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\
**Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/2 "2001-03-13T13:04:37Z")

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Well, a big factor would be support–the fans cheering them on. I would say H.R. Puff’n’stuff.

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/3 "2001-03-13T13:34:50Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Thea Logica \*  
> \*\*In a gloves-off, knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred fight, who would win; Barney or H.R. Puff’n’stuff?  
> \*\*

Puf’n’stuff. Easy. Barney is like a lab rat who’s grown up in a disease-free environment. He’s never had a challenge, never faced a threat. He may also be \<ahem\> “mentally challenged”, whereas Pufinstuff has been in a constant struggle against the cruel forces of e-vil and darkness (Witchiepoo on her Vroom-broom, that creepy vulture hench-thing of hers and Hoodoo the Magician to name just a few) since we’ve first met him. At the hint of any \<gasp\> conflict or the thought of any word or action that isn’t soft, caring and nurturing, Barney would wilt like spinach under hot bacon dressing.

Barney also has a crappy singing voice (he sounds like a drunken Bullwinkle Moose, but dumber). Pufnstuff, at least in the original movie-musical that the series was based on sounds _just like_ Jim Neighbors when he sings!! Note that Mama Cass is also in the movie. I find this signifigant somehow.

And if helpers are allowed, then Barney is in even more trouble. Barney has a bunch of ethinically diverse devil-spawn who’re well behaved and perfect in every way. Puff has Jack Wild (the Artful Dodger), Kling and Klang, That flute thing, the Mayor, the hippie tree, the tap-dancing frog who dresses like Columbia from Rocky Horror, but without the pants…the list is endless.

And the final blow to Barney. With Pufnstuf, there’s always a chance, however slim, that another Krofft creation: Electro-Woman and Dyna-Girl will show up. Ahh, Electro-woman…voltage goddess of my misspent youth. _Watt_’re you doing _current_ly? There could have been quite a _spark_ between us if your show hadn’t been cancelled. _Wire_ you not responding to my many letters? I long _faraday_ when we can be together. Ahem… but I digress.

Pufnstuf, hands down.

Fenris

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**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\
**Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/4 "2001-03-13T13:36:28Z")

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No-brainer.  
Puff’n’Stuff would kick Barney’s wussy purple ass all over the place.  
Puff’n’Stuff was the Mayor! And a dragon!  
What is Barney? Nuthin’, that’s what!

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**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\
**Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/5 "2001-03-13T13:50:22Z")

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Puff’n’stuff by a mile and if the physical attacks let the dragon down he could always spike the purple one’s drink with the drugs that his writers used 😉

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**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\
**Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/6 "2001-03-14T04:42:45Z")

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OK, 2 things.  
1)Y’all are probably over thirty. When I’ve done this poll in the past, the responses where generally divided along age lines. Respondents born before 1970 invariably vote with H.R. Puff’n’stuff. Those born after 1970, in their cultural illiteracy, invariably ask, “Who’s H.R. Puff’n’stuff?”

1. ElectroWoman was my hero when I was a child, watching the Kroft Supershow. Kaptain Kool and the Kongs were my second favorite band, right behind KISS. The show kind of went downhill when the Bay City Rollers took over…

2. I’m a craps dealer, and therefore can’t count, but does anybody know if any cable channel available in the Las Vegas Market carries H.R. Puff’n’stuff? Was that 2 things?

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**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\
**Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/7 "2001-03-14T12:28:26Z")

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Barney’s a wuss. Heck, the _Grimace_ could kick his ass.

On the other hand, Bibendum could whip anyone mentioned here with one hand tied behind his back.

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**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\
**Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/8 "2001-03-15T07:51:30Z")

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Assuming that Barney survived his attempt to make friends with Witchiepoo, H.R. would easily clobber him.

A couple of years ago, the Kroffts attempted to revive the Pufnstuf franchise. On _The Tonight Show_ Jay Leno asked this very question. H.R. said, “I’ll kick his butt!”

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**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\
**Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/9 "2001-03-15T07:55:04Z")

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I’ve got my money on Puff’N’Stuff. He just looks like a bad ass.

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**Author:** ![rockstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockstar)\
**Post date:** [March 15, 2001, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/10 "2001-03-15T16:06:07Z")

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H.R. Puff’n’stuff. No question!

P.S.- I was born in 1984 but I’m far from cultural illiterate.

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**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/11 "2001-03-16T12:43:30Z")

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Wow. A seventeen-year-old who digs H.R. Puff’n’stuff.

There is hope for the future. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2001, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barney-vs-h-r-puffnstuff-the-annual-poll/57791/12 "2001-03-16T14:55:38Z")

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I thought this was gonna be one of those which one would you rather have sex with polls.  
I personally believe that Meow Meow Kitty could beatg the the holy s:):)t out of Barney.
