# Barry Bonds **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 8, 2007, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446 "2007-09-08T06:20:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ermes\_Marana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b77776/32.png) [@Ermes\_Marana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ermes_Marana)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/1 "2007-09-08T06:20:52Z")
You may have heard the news that [Rick Ankiel used HGH](http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3008363). What you will probably not hear in the Bonds-loving media is that the illegal drug operation which provided Ankiel his HGH was actually run by Barry Bonds. Yes, Ankiel used HGH before it was banned by baseball (yet years after Bonds was accused of using it) so it is ok, and he may not be using now. But that does not excuse Bonds for setting up the illegal operation that provided the drugs to Ankiel in the first place. Ironically, this same Bonds-owned illegal drug ring also provided Troy Glaus with steroids. The same Troy Glaus who was the MVP when the Angels defeated the Giants in the World Series. Poetic justice, isn’t it? Bonds, apparently clean by that point, loses the world series to a team of cheaters hopped up on drugs from Bonds’ very own drug empire. At least Troy Glaus (World Series title and MVP) didn’t make any history. Bonds would have a lot to answer for if he had. Experts believe that of the 90% of baseball players who have used performance enhancers, every single one of them received their drugs from what they call the “Bonds Drug Cartel.” When are we going to put a stop to this? No wonder Bonds can’t play day games after night games, he must spend most of his time coordinating the drug shipments to athletes in almost every sport. The drug epidemic will only be solved once Bonds and his nefarious henchmen are put behind bars! ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/2 "2007-09-08T06:23:59Z")
[QUOTE=Ermes Marana] What you will probably not hear in the Bonds-loving media is that the illegal drug operation which provided Ankiel his HGH was actually run by Barry Bonds. [/QUOTE] Oh, I am citing you so hard. That came out wrong. Could we get a cite on this Bonds-run drug cartel? Hell, I’ll even settle for evidence of a “Bonds-loving media”. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/3 "2007-09-08T06:43:28Z")
[QUOTE=Ermes Marana] What you will probably not hear in the Bonds-loving media [/QUOTE] Jeff Kent, that you? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/4 "2007-09-08T16:57:31Z")
Barry Bonds snuck into my house and replaced my regular coffee with steroids. ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/5 "2007-09-08T17:10:33Z")
Barry Bonds raped my mother with steroids and then burned my dog with what was left over. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/6 "2007-09-08T17:18:35Z")
The Bonds loving media? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/7 "2007-09-08T17:22:22Z")
Every single steroid using ball player got their drugs from Barry Bonds drug cartel? Total bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/8 "2007-09-08T18:13:41Z")
Oh Barry, You came and you gave drugs for money But I need some more now, Oh Barry ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/9 "2007-09-08T18:15:36Z")
What you may not hear from the media is that Barry Bonds can squeeze a regulation baseball hard enough to make a quarter-carat diamond. Even Wilford Brimley declines politely to fuck with Barry Bonds. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/10 "2007-09-08T18:20:21Z")
Barry Bonds doesn’t sleep. He waits. Barry Bonds has a third fist under his beard. Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/11 "2007-09-08T18:26:19Z")
Barry Bonds used performance enhancing drugs to to become [a Clarence Clemmons look a like](http://www.audiodallas.com/earlyworks/Pix/JeCcPic2.jpg) from the E Street Band. For this he should be banned from everything. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/12 "2007-09-08T18:36:58Z")
Barry Bonds’ head is so big from taking steriods, that the entire universe revolves around it. Hence this thread. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/13 "2007-09-08T21:21:59Z")
[QUOTE=Kid\_A] Barry Bonds raped my mother with steroids and then burned my dog with what was left over. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but did he pimp him out to a dogfighting ring before he killed him for losing? ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/14 "2007-09-08T21:25:13Z")
And was this before or after he punched a stripper? ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/15 "2007-09-08T21:32:35Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Yeah, but did he pimp him out to a dogfighting ring before he killed him for losing? [/QUOTE] Why else would you burn a dog? I thought a dogfighting ring was implied. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/16 "2007-09-08T21:35:12Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] Why else would you burn a dog? I thought a dogfighting ring was implied. [/QUOTE] Was that because he’s Black or was born in \*southern \* California? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2007, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/17 "2007-09-08T22:12:47Z")
Bonds is the head of the drug cartel that supplies funds to the Clintons, Bush, Cheney, Michael Deaver, Norman Hsu, dogfighting rings, the Israel Lobby and the FDA. **WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Ermes\_Marana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b77776/32.png) [@Ermes\_Marana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ermes_Marana)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/18 "2007-09-09T00:45:13Z")
Reports are now coming out that Barry Bonds posed as a doctor in an internet chat, and prescribed HGH and steroids for Ankiel and Glaus. Maybe we can get Bonds for unlicensed practice of medicine, sort of like how we got Capone for tax evasion. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/19 "2007-09-09T01:08:15Z")
[QUOTE=Ermes Marana] Reports are now coming out that Barry Bonds posed as a doctor in an internet chat, and prescribed HGH and steroids for Ankiel and Glaus. Maybe we can get Bonds for unlicensed practice of medicine, sort of like how we got Capone for tax evasion. [/QUOTE] Post a link to some of these sources or shut up and go away. Oh, and BTW, one cannot prescribe drugs in an internet chat room. One might _advise_ drugs. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2007, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446/20 "2007-09-09T02:01:53Z")
At least link to one or more of the reports, so we have something to point and laugh at besides just you… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/barry-bonds/418446.md?page=2)