# Bassoon and hammered dulcimer **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 28, 2006, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955 "2006-01-28T05:06:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/1 "2006-01-28T05:06:59Z")
I know one person who wants to learn to play the bassoon. Another friend wants to play the hammered dulcimer. So if they ever played together, what would the result be? ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/2 "2006-01-28T05:32:35Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > I know one person who wants to learn to play the bassoon. > > Another friend wants to play the hammered dulcimer. > > So if they ever played together, what would the result be? The result would be that they’d suck hard until they’d put in countless hours of practice. The bassoon is a goddamned hard, eccentric beast of an instrument to play. Long and unwieldy, using double-reeds that have to be maintained and fiddled with constantly, and requiring a very high tolerance for frustration and failure as a beginner. And lessons from a talented teacher. And ideally some previous woodwind experience. I had all of these and I still sucked ass at it. I now play guitars pretty much exclusively, though I’ll pull out my saxophone once in a while. Bassoon, though, never again. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/3 "2006-01-28T05:37:19Z")
I would assume the hammered dulcimer is a bit easier to learn. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/4 "2006-01-28T13:01:39Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > I know one person who wants to learn to play the bassoon. > > Another friend wants to play the hammered dulcimer. > > So if they ever played together, what would the result be? [Dead Can Dance](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Can_Dance) ? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/5 "2006-01-28T13:32:43Z")
Some free samples of hammered dulcimer with woodwinds at [Crystal Creek Music](http://www.crystalcreekmusic.com/samplemusic.html) but not bassoon. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/6 "2006-01-28T14:20:42Z")
“Hammered dulcimer”? Is this like a regular dulcimer that’s had too much to drink? ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/7 "2006-01-28T23:48:27Z")
I used to play the bassoon. I didn’t think it was all that difficult. Then again, I was first chair clarinetist and lead alto saxophonist before taking up the bassoon. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/8 "2006-01-29T01:11:45Z")
Has anyone tried the contrabassoon? And if they have, how do you store it since it’s 10 feet long and can’t be disassembled? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/9 "2006-01-29T02:46:55Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > “Hammered dulcimer”? Is this like a regular dulcimer that’s had too much to drink? That’s what I was thinking. THat, or a dulcimer that’s been reduced to a pile of woodpulp. Would that make it easier to learn? or harder? ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/10 "2006-01-29T02:50:24Z")
I believe a hammered dulcimer would be easier to play than a bassoon because it’s easier to learn a stringed instrument. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/11 "2006-01-29T02:55:33Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > So if they ever played together, what would the result be? A [Racket](http://goss.rho.net/flute/htm/racket.htm). ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/12 "2006-01-29T03:53:54Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > I believe a hammered dulcimer would be easier to play than a bassoon because it’s easier to learn a stringed instrument. Ah, as in “strung out.” ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/13 "2006-01-29T04:21:22Z")
I think a hammered dulcimer and a bassoon playing together (in the hands of some skilled players, of course) would actually sound pretty cool. One pizzicato and ethereal, one guttural and visceral: I can imagine that sounding great, come to think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/14 "2006-01-29T04:22:51Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > I used to play the bassoon. I didn’t think it was all that difficult. Then again, I was first chair clarinetist and lead alto saxophonist before taking up the bassoon. \Dork.\ I was a first chair clarinetist at one point too. Never tried the double reeds. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/15 "2006-01-30T10:25:05Z")
I’ll take a wild guess at “A plinky-planky melodic line accompanied by a farting bedpost”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/16 "2006-01-30T13:01:49Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > I’ll take a wild guess at “A plinky-planky melodic line accompanied by a farting bedpost”. 😃 _snort_😃 ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/17 "2006-01-30T18:02:06Z")
> [@BobT](#): > > Has anyone tried the contrabassoon? And if they have, how do you store it since it’s 10 feet long and can’t be disassembled? Just a really big case, no biggie. I think sometimes the bell and bocal can be removed. Not that I’ve played the contrabassoon. A [contrabassoonist with a mission](http://www.bigbassoon.com/index.html) . > [@Malacandra](#): > > I’ll take a wild guess at “A plinky-planky melodic line accompanied by a farting bedpost”. Hi-larious!! 😛 Although I’m sure you know for all the flack bassoon gets, it can sound quite beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/18 "2006-01-30T20:33:18Z")
> [@jackelope](#): > > I think a hammered dulcimer and a bassoon playing together (in the hands of some skilled players, of course) would actually sound pretty cool. One pizzicato and ethereal, one guttural and visceral: I can imagine that sounding great, come to think of it. I tried something like this before. I taped myself playing a deep 'n low 'n growling bass guitar with a plucky mandolin on top of that. It was interesting in a _Sturm und Drang_ sense but lacked that middle ground that a piano or guitar, for example, could provide. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/19 "2006-01-30T21:08:48Z")
> [@Argent Towers](#): > > The bassoon is a goddamned hard, eccentric beast of an instrument to play. Long and unwieldy, using double-reeds that have to be maintained and fiddled with constantly, and requiring a very high tolerance for frustration and failure as a beginner. And lessons from a talented teacher. And ideally some previous woodwind experience. My daughter was 3 months into her first year of middle school band when the instructor asked if she wanted to switch from saxaphone to bassoon. Neither of the band instructors played the bassoon and they could not get a private instructor to come to the school for a single student. She picked it up pretty handily, although it was a few months before the sounds coming from her room when she practiced stopped sounding like animals being tortured. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bassoon-and-hammered-dulcimer/341955/20 "2006-01-30T22:44:35Z")
I’ve been studying how to play the buffoon for several years, and I’m still only fair at it. Timing is critical, and you have to choose the gags carefully. Not all ignorance and incompetence is funny. What? Bassoon? Oh, that. Well, I was told long ago that my hands were big enough, but my teeth were wrong. A **hammered dulcimer,** if **lissener and JThunder** weren’t completely joking, is played with a pair of little wooden mallets rather than a pick.