# Bastard shit eating maggot touching ass mask shit shit monster head fuck stapler **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 20, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095 "2000-08-20T23:10:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/1 "2000-08-20T23:10:52Z")
Goddamn shit fuck ass monkey dildo bastard ass huggy shove tit fuck fuck shit ass damnit saggy beaver flap boobs whore. I hate Football. Goddamn preempt my fucking shows Futurama… Simpsons… Malcom in the Middle… do you know how rare it is for me to be home at 6 on a Sunday? fuck shit horse dick poo poo head I hate you, football. May you die, and have your grandson’s illegitimate lover rape your mottled ass. There should be a Football only channel that only plays when there’s a football game. That way they don’t preempt my fucking shows ass munch pussy munge donkey dick lick tickle fuckers. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/2 "2000-08-20T23:45:51Z")
I love football 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/3 "2000-08-20T23:53:06Z")
What Homer said. It always manages to cut into the X-Files, too, 'cause everything gets pushed back. Football is bad. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/4 "2000-08-21T00:12:37Z")
Football good. Reruns bad. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/5 "2000-08-21T00:17:29Z")
::grunts:: Me love football Me love Simpsons, too Football win. Why is the word ‘stapler’ in this thread title? If it was to make me laugh at the ridiculousness, you succeeded, but then I have a bizarre sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/6 "2000-08-21T00:34:06Z")
Notice the word “mask” in the title. That was originally “masking tape” but I ran out of room. Fucking football. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/7 "2000-08-21T00:45:01Z")
Yeah, but how do you _really_ feel about football? Don’t hold back. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/8 "2000-08-21T01:02:25Z")
No matter what anyone says I still love football! ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/9 "2000-08-21T01:04:24Z")
Personally, my eyes singled out “ass mask” in the title. Along with Byz’s “ribbon clerk”, this will become one of my new insults. ---
**Author:** ![Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goose)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/10 "2000-08-21T02:18:17Z")
Move to England. You can be preempted with soccer, a torture I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. ---
**Author:** ![Louie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Louie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Louie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/11 "2000-08-21T06:03:53Z")
Football, good. Preseason football, bad. ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/12 "2000-08-21T06:16:53Z")
Pro sports are for morons, of course. But you knew that. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/13 "2000-08-21T06:19:57Z")
Me like West Coast. All games done by Futurama time. No pre-empting here. Me say yay. BTW, they were all reruns. Futurama: the robots who hate mankind try to destroy it. Simpsons: Hmm. Apparently I don’t remember. I remember a few gags, but not the plot. Malcolm: Mom gets really sick, boys ditch school by convincing her in her sicky delirium that it’s Sunday. Anyway, all that to say: Me like Pacific Time. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/14 "2000-08-21T07:06:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by oldscratch \* > Football good. \*\*Reruns bad. \*\* Bunch of gies line up, run into each other. Commercial. Bunch of guys line up, run into each other. Commercial. Bunch of gies line up, run into each other. Commercial. Bunch of guys line up, run into each other. Commercial. Hmmmmmmmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/15 "2000-08-21T07:07:52Z")
You will notice, that due to my amazing copy and paste skills, I managed to repeat the same stupid type twice ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/16 "2000-08-21T07:33:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Bastard shit eating maggot touching ass mask shit shit **monster** head fuck stapler You’d better not be dissing monster, because you’ll have a posse of Dopers out for your blood in a heartbeat. Although, if you’re dissing me, I don’t think anybody could care less… ANYWAYS…football is cool when it doesn’t interrupt my favorite programs (I also love the West Coast). ---
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/17 "2000-08-21T07:58:38Z")
They’re relatively considerate in England, where you can watch _foot_ball 4 pm to 5-45pm and Manchester United in imperious form thrashing the toon 2-0, then grab something to eat, then settle down for four consecutive episodes of the Simpsons. Oh, and a **LOT** of adverts. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/18 "2000-08-21T09:52:40Z")
Football should only be played between the World Series and the start of spring training. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/19 "2000-08-21T19:21:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > **Football should only be played between the World Series and the start of spring training.** A-fucking-men. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095/20 "2000-08-21T20:18:20Z")
I’m with Homer on this . . . After seeing that goddam football was prempting everything on Fox, I said, “oh, well, I’ll just see what’s on 60 Minutes . . .” GOLF! I mean, why the hell do they have sports channels if they’re just going to preempt programming that REAL people might want to see?! Bastards, they should all die like pigs in hell. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bastard-shit-eating-maggot-touching-ass-mask-shit-shit-monster-head-fuck-stapler/30095.md?page=2)